An Anthology Of Meaning

Poetry in motion

An unexpected outcome of the poem-a-day challenge I’ve just finished was finding it easy to write one every day, even when I wasn’t in the mood to write. I never would have thought it. Previously, I only wrote poetry when it bubbled up asking or insisting to be set free, or in classes or workshops I’ve attended over the years.

My first little “ah ha” moment came on the very first day of the challenge, when I only remembered I was doing it just as I was falling asleep! Slightly frustrated, I opened one eye, grabbed a pen and my notebook and threw a few lines onto whatever page opened. I didn’t think much about it at the time (mostly because I fell asleep), but that was the whole point of the challenge.

As per Katharine Chan, who’s piece on writing every day inspired my challenge, I found that it forced me to get out of my head, stop second-guessing my thoughts and ideas and, maybe most importantly, stop over editing myself. The style of writing I ended up going with and the timing in terms of my day job, didn’t allow much editing anyway. To my surprise, I found myself liking what I wrote more and more as the month progressed.

But the most surprising aspect of it I only really realised in retrospect.

I’ve always struggled to communicate my feelings. So when I wanted to thank my family for all they’d done for my 40th birthday (no small feat during UK lockdown), my sister suggested I find ways that feel easier for me personally, instead of trying to communicate in the way others expect. She used the example of her husband communicating through physical affection, such as hugging, while she preferred verbal. As she spoke, the ease of those few half-asleep lines came to mind. I wondered if I would be able to express something meaningful to members of my family via verse.

Then came the fear.

What if it was terrible? Worse, what if it was mediocre? What if it came across pretentious? I put all those thoughts into the “no time to worry about that” bucket I learnt to use during the challenge and jumped in.

My heart was stolen bit by bit

My heart was stolen bit by bit With each new frown and stare. Seeing you doggedly refuse to quit And your resistance to despair

No matter what, you took it on, My little teacher from the start. Our adventures go far beyond The bounds of space, or heart

In fact, as your’s breaks free, And two are no longer one, Your gifts and wisdom show me, You teach me how it’s done

How it’s possible to see and know Another from afar, or near. The way you deftly rise and grow Shows how you really hear.

But best of all is how you hold All of me so close to you, Side by side on paths of old And those we walk anew.

Your heart creates a home

Your heart creates a home Wherever you may go And whomever you encounter Very soon comes to know

The bold colours of that joy That artists seek to paint And poets to express. But words only taint,

With their rules and lines, The spirit that sets to flight Minds, hearts and hopes. A spirit that won’t alight

On anything so mundane. I’ve been lifted, shaped and hewn Into who I wish to be, Dancing with rack and ruin,

Wherever feeling takes us Such gleeful belly laughter Fills the air always As we dance, we walk, we conquer.

Always at a beginning with you

At the beginning was you, and us And at each beginning thereafter We find ourselves, as in the dust, Building our family with laughter

Always first and at the core Of who we are and what we do Whether it’s real and raw, Or whether it’s “throwing a shoe”

My family, repeatedly chosen, My friend, consistently growing. Over lands both flowered and frozen We weather all weather, knowing

Our story never comes to an end, Regardless the chapter or view, Always shifting and changing, but still At a beginning with you.

Thank you for raising us

You walked in out of the dust Immediately, you knew you must Do and be and see all there was, Presented to you as a class

But soon, when class was done, Once again, you saw your sun Rising gently over our hearts And you set out to raise your plants

With a mother’s kindest grace To the sun, you turned each face Whether smile or scowl or tear, Only warmth when you are near.

Light step, light heart and laugh, Strength in an embrace so soft, Like a willow, mistaken for weeping, Not so much stepping as leaping,

You reach and find and flow. And you take us with you as you sow A life you love, fully here For us, and all who hold you dear.

Together, never fear

My sister and my friend The one I look to when in need The one who’ll bend, And even break, to lead

The way whenever I am lost Who lights the way When my stars get crossed On my darkest day

She’ll lift a light she doesn’t own With a strength she never had And rise to heights she’s never known To hold my hand through the sad

Not pulling, not pushing Just holding. Until I jump Not trying to cushion, Just holding the lump

Of me that’s left after And ready, as ever, for what Always comes: the laughter That tells us we’re not

Sinking, we’re sailing That we’re us, always Flying, never failing. And on sunny days

We laugh as well, on and at Life, all the way through. What’s better than that? Laughing or crying, us two.