America’s Got Talent: The Champions episode 2 review and rankings

Darci Lynne and Courtney Hadwin headline 10 returning AGT favorites. Here’s my snarky review & ranking of every act…

We’re back for week two of America’s Got Talent: The Champions. Normally a summer show, AGT is bringing back 50 favorite contestants from both America and other countries’ iterations of the show for one mega winter talent show. Last week saw singer Susan Boyle and comedian Preacher Lawson through to the finals. This week brings ten new acts.

I’ll be reviewing every act each week with my usual snark and master-of-all-talents abilities, and of course we’ll rank the acts from 10 to 1. That doesn’t mean America will agree or get the vote right, but that won’t stop us from trying. In case it’s not obvious, spoilers abound, so be sure to watch the show first. Leave your rankings in the comments at the bottom!

Introduction of judges and rules

The show kicks off with Terry Crews hosting, and I am instantly reminded again how good Terry Crews is at not being Tyra Banks. Massive host upgrade, even if the only thing Crews has done so far is make his pecs dance. Crews reviews the rules. Ten acts will compete tonight. One moves on by golden buzzer from Heidi (but let’s be honest, these are all predetermined by Simon), and one thanks to a mysterious 50-state vote (again, Simon).

I’ve been thinking, and the buzzer thing is really odd when you only pick two acts out of ten. Once you hit the buzzer, it’s awfully anticlimactic the rest of the show, knowing just one remaining act can advance. Doesn’t that pretty much guarantee the golden buzzer gets back-loaded into the second half of the show? Like tonight I would have expected Darci Lynne to get the golden buzzer, but she’s up first, and there’s no way they’re using it on the opening act. It’s weird, right?

Darci Lynne

Darci is back after winning just two summers ago, and it was fun to see the montage of everywhere she’s gone the last couple years. As always with these ventriloquist acts, I’m so impressed with all the voices they can sing, let alone without moving their mouths. We get a pair of songs, and Proud Mary is the better half with Darci and Oscar the dummy going back and forth in an impressive switch-off. A few too many close-ups showed Darci’s mouth moving a bit, but the bar is pretty high with her. She’s in the mix.

Ashleigh & Sully

Oh good, now we’re importing animal acts from other countries. This duo apparently won Britain’s Got Talent so, much like many other things, this is England’s fault. Well, technically, these two didn’t win. That was Pudsey, Sully’s pop who passed away with cancer. Sad. Anyway, this pup danced around and did other doggo stuff and I can’t help but wonder if they’re also available to perform at the nursing home where my sister works. I’m disappointed with the names. Pudsey was such a British name. Ashleigh is way too American, and Sully is straight out of Boston. How about Gillian & Giles? Pippa & Pemberton? Maybe Rosalie & Nigel? Disappointing.

Light Balance

This creative lights team lost last time to Darci Lynne, so it feels especially cruel to bring them back on her night. But they were awesome, with a three-song dance mix and spectacular light show highlighted by me screaming like a little girl at “Back.Street’s.Back. ALRIGHT!” and a cool bit where they juggled their heads. Well, not really, but the whole thing is dark with moving lights… you really have to see it. My one complaint is this felt a little too much like what a band might actually do for part of their show, so the creativity was a bit lacking compared to their usual, but still a terrific show. Win or lose, here’s hoping this team escapes Ukraine and tours the world doing their thing.

Taylor Williamson

It’s tough to be a comedian tonight after Preacher Lawson lit up the stage last time, since any comedy act will naturally get compared to him now. Why put someone through unless you think they can beat him? Taylor opens with a Bill Cosby joke… yeesh. Insert *pulling at my collar* GIF here. Williamson feels like he’s trying a little too hard to be edgy, and it falls flat a few times. He’s a funny dude, but tonight it felt like his personality outperformed his material.

Cristina Ramos

Cristina won Spain’s Got Talent and I don’t really know what to expect so I’m not too caught off guard by the operatic Bohemian Rhapsody she comes out with. Yawn. Only that’s not the act at all! The fur comes off, the lights come on, and it’s a rock version! Ramos has pipes, and though this arrangement is a little odd, she definitely has our attention. Cristina is a bit Courtney Hadwin, right up until she fades back into a weird operatic finish. The judges love it, and I worry they’re going to use the golden buzzer. This isn’t the sort of act I’d get excited about seeing again, but I think she has a good shot to move on.

DDF Crew

Up next, the Charlotte Hornets halftime dance team! Wait, they’re Holland’s Got Talent winners wearing teal and purple jumpers and… they jump rope. So yeah, they’re pretty much the Hornets halftime dance team. Oh snap, they’re even performing on a makeshift basketball court! Amazing. And they’re pretty entertaining, as far as jump rope teams go. But as Howie says, that’s not quite enough on a talent show like this. Still, as a Holland jump rope team with two guys doing all the dancing, at least they can tell folks they went Double Dutch.

Viktor Kee

The light juggler dude is back, and it sure seems like we’re getting a lot of recent AGT acts tonight. Viktor’s juggling is more art than sports. The juggling itself is good but not incredible — face it, we’ve all seen better jugglers — but he makes it more of a performance with music, dance, and light components. This feels like something I’d watch at halftime of a game or a special Disney World performance. That’s not bad, it’s just not something I’m going to wake up remembering tomorrow. Three acts to go.

Courtney Hadwin

Oh hey, speaking of Courtney! I know instantly this is tonight’s golden buzzer. She’s a crowd pleaser and in the coveted #8 spot in tonight’s lineup a la Susan Boyle. Courney was a finalist last summer and she’s adorable. This quiet, nervous, nerdy teen gets on stage and turns into a bona fide Janis Joplin. The surprise factor is gone but the rock and roll is still there. Courtney’s signature, bowlegged dance moves are back too, and she’s a much more confident performer now. The incredible rock pipes were always present, but now the persona is too. That’s a rock star right there. And then we find out that was an original song too. Wow! Impressive. And somehow no golden buzzer! Color me shocked. Well, I guess that’s whoever’s next then, since they obviously can’t save the buzzer act for last. Courtney had better be America’s choice.

Deadly Games

In case the name didn’t give it away, this is a danger act, a Mr. and Mrs. Smith husband and wife with a whole kitchen of knives, complete with a “Do Not Try This At Home” disclaimer. I always say I don’t like these acts, but I also can’t stop watching, and my heart stopped for 20 solid seconds when they lined up for the no-look arrow shot finale. Just once, I’d like to see the wife throwing all the knives at the husband. And there, finally, is Heidi’s golden buzzer. I don’t get it. I’m not even sure Deadly Games is a top five act tonight. Sigh.

Piff the Magic Dragon

Piff is back, decked out in his ridiculous dragonwear, along with all the usual pageantry and the only dog we accept on AGT, the pifftacular Mr. Piffles. This guy is absolutely goofy, and the magic act is hidden amidst a flurry of nerdy jokes and buffoonery. You almost forget you’re watching a magic show until Heidi’s missing ring shows up in the egg his dog poops out, and that, unfortunately, is not a metaphor. Piff is half-magician half-comedian. I’m just not totally sure he’s enough of either, but it’s an entertaining show either way.

My personal rankings

Champions? More like chumpions.

10. Ashleigh & Sully 9. DDF Crew 8. Taylor Williamson 7. Viktor Kee 6. Deadly Games

There weren’t any complete duds tonight, but on a night full of above-average performers, these acts were all just fine. Of course, Deadly Games was our golden buzzer, so I guess only one of the top five acts will go on.

Worthy of consideration

5. Cristina Ramos 4. Piff the Magic Dragon

I could see either of these acts getting through and wouldn’t be too shocked or upset, but neither is quite for me and I think there were better acts out there.

My top three

3. Light Balance 2. Darci Lynne 1. Courtney Hadwin

I never would’ve believed it if you told me I’d rank Courtney ahead of Darci, but I think Courtney is the clear number one tonight. She was a rock star out there, and this was her best performance. It’s crazy to say on a night she stared the stage with three previous winners and several current Vegas acts, but Courtney is a must-have in the finals.

The Results

Terry comes back out — remember how he’s the host? his talents seem a bit wasted on this show, but whatever — and we are reminded that he’s about to announce a top three of the remaining nine acts before our mysterious panel of American states determines tonight’s winner.

The vote is in, and the final three tonight are… Courtney, Cristina, and Darci!

No huge surprises there, especially saving Darci for last since there’s no humanly way she was not getting chosen in the top four acts after winning this thing last time. I still feel like Courtney is taking this thing. Now we get some goofy demographic updates before Terry reveals tonight’s third-place finisher is… Courtney Hadwin. Wow. That’s disappointing and pretty shocking. America, you got this one wrong.

And the winner is Cristina Ramos?! America, WYD? Wow.

Goodbye to both Darci and Courtney. I’m shocked. They put through my fifth and sixth favorites from the night. Bummer. I’m sad we won’t get to see Courtney again. But hey… at least the dogs didn’t go through.

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