American Pie And The Rise Of The MILF
A look at the creation of a pop culture phenomenon
When it came out in 1999, the film American Pie revolutionised the genre. It addressed teenage relationships and sex with humour and candour, opening the door for later teen comedies. However, one of the movie’s most lasting effects comes from the widespread adoption of the iconic term “MILF” — an acronym that has since become a part of our pop culture lexicon.
Where does the term come from?
Although the term MILF was in use long before the film’s premiere, American Pie was the catalyst for popularising and bringing the term to the mainstream pop culture scene, forever changing how we view older women.
In the 1999 movie, the gang is at a party that their friend Stifler is throwing when Jim and Kevin find a picture of their friend’s mother, played by the legendary Jennifer Coolidge. Jim ponders how such an extraordinary woman could be Stifler’s mom. In that moment, John Cho, playing the character ‘MILF Guy #2’, boldly proclaims Stifler’s mom as a MILF, a Mom I’d Like to Fuck.
MILF Guy #2: Dude, that chick’s a MILF!
MILF Guy #1: What to hell is that?
MILF Guy #2: M-I-L-F Mom I’d Like to Fuck!
MILF Guy #1: Yeah, dude! Yeah!
From then on, the term MILF quickly became a famous catchphrase among young men, who began looking at mothers in a new light. Well, maybe not all mothers, as MILFs are typically mother’s in their late 20s to early 40s, with a fit figure and youthful and appealing appearance.
So why did the term catch on so quickly? Part of it was the shock value. The idea of a teenage boy being sexually attracted to his friend’s mom was a taboo subject, and the term MILF was a way to break that taboo humorously. After all, the scene in American Pie where Stifler’s mom seduces Finch is memorable precisely because it’s so unexpected.
What’s the appeal of the MILF?
In a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, researchers examined the content of 50 videos featuring older women and 50 videos featuring younger women, sourced from some of the most widely viewed adult websites. The primary discovery was that older women were given more prominent positions, both in terms of sexuality and other aspects.
Interestingly, this observation aligns with the shifting gender roles in modern culture, which is particularly evident in the genre of MILF porn. The study found that MILFs were two-and-a-half times more likely than younger women to initiate sexual activity. Moreover, older women in general were more assertive during sexual encounters.
“I have a lot of guys who will do webcam chats with me, like one-on-one, and a lot of them call me ‘mommy.’ It really is a big fetish,” says Tanya Tate, a pornstar who’s won numerous MILF of the Year awards in the adult industry.
In the world beyond the realm of pornography, it is a common stereotype that MILFs tend to hold higher positions in their careers compared to their male partners.
This is apparent in the notable presence of MILFs portrayed in various forms of media who hold positions of authority and responsibility, such as educators, supervisors, mothers, law enforcement officials, or legal professionals. In contrast, media and adult content in the MILF genre frequently depicts men as students or individuals in lower-level positions.
These intriguing findings suggest that men who enjoy MILF porn may have a preference for engaging in submissive roles with dominant women.
The MILF vs. The Cougar
Generally speaking, a MILF is typically considered to be an attractive woman who has children but is still sexually desirable. A cougar, on the other hand, refers to an older woman who is typically 40 or older and seeks out younger men for sexual relationships. Motherhood is not a defining feature of the cougar.
Cougars tend to exude playfulness, self-assurance, and charisma. In popular culture, they are often portrayed as successful businesswomen who embrace the allure of a sexually fulfilling existence with a younger partner.
Fun fact: In the United States, MILF became the second most popular search in the U.S., ahead of 2022’s top favourite, Hentai.
It’s important to note that both terms, MILF and cougar, have their share of controversy, as they solely focus on age and physical appearance. However, others argue that they are reclaiming the idea of female sexuality, particularly among women who have been shamed for their sexual desires.
A cultural phenomenon
From TV shows to the hit song “Stacy’s Mom,” the influence of MILF culture was everywhere after American Pie. We saw it in the controversial TLC reality show MILF Manor and even in the hilarious fake reality show MILF Island, featured in the NBC sitcom 30 Rock. The term even found its place in academic discussions, with papers and articles examining its cultural impact.
But its impact went beyond the teenage fans of the film. The MILF phenomenon tapped into our society’s fascination with youth and attractiveness. As women grow older, they often encounter harsh criticism and intense scrutiny. However, the term MILF challenged this perspective, completely changing the narrative and embracing the appeal and attractiveness of mature women.
Fun fact: In 2023, the MILF category became the 5th most-viewed category worldwide.
Before this trend emerged, pop culture poorly represented older women, particularly mothers. While the concept of the well-rounded Renaissance man has been around for centuries, for most of history, an older woman’s identity was viewed, in large part, by her role as a mother. And for whatever reason, the mainstream culture of yesteryear found it challenging to address the intricate connection between being a mother, femininity, and sexuality.
The post-American Pie era encouraged women to embrace their sexuality and break free from societal age constraints. The film created a new standard for attractive older women, portraying them as dominant and assertive. It showed that women could take charge of their sexual desires and be equally active in pursuing sexual encounters. Plus, it ignited discussions about desire and attraction, serving as a reminder that beauty transcends boundaries and is not limited to youth alone.
Fun fact: The term MILF has its origins in the 1990s, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. It was first used online in a 1995 Usenet group.
Of course, not everyone thought the use of the term was empowering. Some critics viewed it as crude and demeaning to women, reducing her to a mere object of desire for men. It focuses solely on her physical appearance, disregarding her unique identity, intelligence, achievements, and individuality. It reinforces the notion that women’s worth is primarily based on appearance rather than personal qualities.
On the other hand, some argue that the term MILF is not inherently demeaning. They believe that the term can be a source of empowerment for some women, highlighting the fact that being a mother does not necessarily diminish a woman’s sexuality or attractiveness. Many women see this term as a way to confidently embrace their sensuality and self-assurance while embracing their age and the vital role of motherhood.
“The child seeks to connect sexually with the opposite-sex parent — so the male child [seeks to connect] with the mother. What prevents us from seeking the mother is the fear of castration by the father. The [MILF] fantasy could be looked at, in a way, as conquering the castration anxiety — saying, ‘I’m really going for the mother figure.” — Peter Kanaris, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist.
It’s worth mentioning that the discussion about the term MILF is not a universally applicable matter. Women’s opinions on this phrase can vary greatly, with some believing it to be empowering and others feeling it to be demeaning and objectifying. It’s crucial to appreciate and respect the diverse viewpoints of women and acknowledge their autonomy in determining what they find empowering or degrading.
Conclusion
American Pie’s impact on pop culture goes far beyond its iconic quotes and outrageous moments. It popularised the concept of the MILF and created a new idea of what it means to be a sexually active woman. It marked a turning point in how we view older women and challenged the stereotypes that had previously limited them to domestic roles. The movie’s popularisation of the MILF opened the floodgates to society’s acknowledgement of the sexual attractiveness of older women.