Ambushed by My Grief

Fight or Flight

Hiding in the vacuum

Of my loss

In stealth mode

Where my heart used to be

Waiting to pounce.

Lurking to strike

Hiding not in plain sight.

Sweeping me off my feet

In a sudden

Like a hurricane

Twisting my senses

Like a tornado

Turned tsunami

With no respect for privacy

Without notice or fair warning.

I lashed out

Fighting, Kicking, Punching,

Pushing and Blocking

An Unseen Enemy

Ambushed me from within.

It paused and feigned

A prelude to Pain;

Unbearable, immobilising, numbing

Pain, just plain pure undiluted Pain.

Grief and Pain attacked in tandem

Pouring out like water

Waves after waves

Swarming me

Unrelenting, Crippling, Choking

To drown me

In stormy seas of depression.

I cried out aloud with deafening silence,

Reaching out, shouting without sound,

With deep groans without words,

No one helped from millions around.

In the abyss of silence,

Within the wall of its well as it encircled me,

I struggled and battled all alone.

Tears fell in voluminous torrents;

My heart is like wax

Melting within my breast

Ripping through my body into my very soul

Sucking every ounce of my life

Till my bones are all out of joint.

Its vortex sapping

Every drop of

Purpose.

I laid down;

My sorrow is weary,

My heart is stony,

I am tired,

My strength is almost gone,

My end is near.

Voices have ceased,

No more music played,

The sound of silence reigns

And I am alone;

Flight or fight?

Is it time to surrender?

I smile,

For it to be over soon, I hope.

Hoping to embrace my beloved

At the end of my time

When Victory shall be mine.

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