Am I weird? A Straight Woman’s Obsession with Big Tits.

My investigation of breast fetishism

Here’s my confession: I follow hot bikini models on Instagram. They all have big boobs, and I am a straight ciswoman. Just to overshare further, my favourite porn genre is “Japanese big boobs”.

This obsession concerns me because I love my boyfriend, then why am I checking out girls more often than he does? A little search on the internet makes me realised that perhaps I’m not so special after all. In fact, the fascination with big boobs goes back to Neolithic times — the pagans were all over those juggs.

So, to all who question their sexual preferences, here’s what I learned about the mysterious breast fetishism.

Suspicion 1: Am I gay?

I have kissed women before and sorry I didn’t like it. Their lips were as soft as mine and the feeling was like two soft peaches bump into each other, just too mushy. I wasn’t turned on, I don’t want those moist lip-glossy mouths touching mine (no offence).

Also, I don’t like watching lesbian porn. So that’s that.

The idea of touching someone else’s boobs and vagina weren’t great neither. I don’t want to motorboat anyone and I’m not prepared to finger anyone else’s wet poontang. Instead, I love cocks, muscular chests and big arms. I want to do a lot of things with them, all night long.

From another perspective, straight men are known to get turned on by lesbian actions. They want to see girls in bras doing pillow fights, car washes and more. This doesn’t mean that all these men want to become women and have lesbian sex, right? God no!

So suspicion rejected. Although none of us is 100% straight and 100% gay, my love of boobs doesn’t make me a lesbian, not yet.

Suspicion 2: Did I project myself to become a bikini model?

When I first set out to become a writer, I toyed with the idea of using my looks to attract more followers on social media. A little bit of cleavage here, a few bum cheeks there. But given my real-life fashion aesthetic is somewhere between a grandma and a schoolboy, there’s no way I’d feel comfortable having my tits out on the cruel internet, leaving an unerasable trait of regrets.

In fact, having grown up loathing my body, I’ve never worn a bikini in my life. Hmm….wait! Maybe deep down, I simply admire the confidence and the hot bodies of the bikini model. Replace Emrata’s head with mine over her hot body, show off my cleavage whilst giving weather reports on TV. I want to become these hot boxes in my fantasy land.

Perhaps my obsession with big boobs has something to do with psychology, but what about sexologically? Do I have a fetish for boobies?

Suspicion 3: Breast Fetishism

What’s a fetish, anyway? According to WebMd, “A fetish is sexual excitement in response to an object or body part that’s not typically sexual.”

That’s helpful. It seems like the clinical definition of fetish is more about getting turned on by unusual items such as surgical masks (very topical), high heels, or feet. Given boobs are definitely typically sexual, maybe boob fetish isn’t a thing.

Wrong! I dug further and learned that breast fetishism, also known as Mazophilia, refers to the case where a person’s sexual interest is exclusively on breasts and it is a form of fetishistic disorder. Although boobs are now culturally seen as a sexual body part, biologically they are merely “secondary sex characteristics” because they don’t directly attribute to the reproductive system. Does that mean all straight men (and me) have breast fetish?

There’s no need to jump straight to the conclusion that all men and women who love boobs automatically have Mazophilia. Firstly, you probably need to be quite exclusively obsessed with tits for it to be a fetish; and secondly, there are many studies on breast obsession, especially in the world of anthropology and sociology which give this phenomenon an alternative consideration.

If you look at many artefacts around the world, the breasts of ancient goddesses are always accentuated. From Çatalhöyük goddess discovered in Turkey dated back to the Neolithic times, to Virgin Mary squirting milk to St. Bernard of Clairvaux’s mouth. Humans have been obsessed with tits for millenniums!

This is a classic nature vs nurture question. Are we born obsessed with boobs or has society and culture nurtured us to do so? In recent years, we see that the west has generally shifted interests on female bodies southwards, along the hourglass curves of Marilyn Monroe to Kim Kardashian, from boobs to booties.

Our ideas of beauty are almost always influenced by popular cultures. From high-end fashion pushing for extremely skinny models, to today’s rap songs about twerking and big booty. At one point, it was trendy for Japanese women to paint their teeth black and Chinese women to bind their feet small! We can’t isolate our sexual interests as mere biology.

Given I am turned on by many things, including my boyfriend's tushy, my love of boobs is not a fetish but an interest. Perhaps because the culture I grew up which showed that women with big tits are desirable, the teenage me with low self-esteem projected so much cultural meaning to beautiful breasts.

It’s great that we now celebrate women of all shapes and forms. With the recent female empowerment, I wish that younger girls become more aware of their body and their desires, and women can read information such as this article with ease and begin their own sexual explorations.

I love big boobs and I cannot lie. I’m not ashamed of my sexual interest.

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