Am I Old Yet? When Are We Old?
It seems some are old at the age of 40; others are young at the age of 80
The inspiration for this post was an article by Leonard Tillerman with the title I’m not dead yet.
It’s a great, thought-provoking, and inspiring piece of art. I won’t talk much about the article, as I definitely can’t pass the idea, as good as the author did, so please read it for yourself, you won’t regret it. I will only share my thoughts inspired by this article.
At the beginning of the article, the author says
Over the last few years, I have really struggled with aging. I simply cannot do what I used to.
This already caught my attention. My first thought was, “Why do people always regret what they lost instead of cherishing what they have? Why do we always worry about what we don’t have instead of appreciating what we have?”. I kept reading and appreciating to learn about the different perceptions of life the author was sharing with us.
“I am only 48 years old, so I have to admit, there will be plenty of things about aging I do not understand. I am too young to comprehend it,” — I thought to myself.
The author finishes his article with the beautiful words
Be that as it may, I am starting to realize that I may have more to offer this world. Perhaps this is all just beginning! Could this be my best chapter yet?
It reminded me of my life and how I thought it was the end of my life when I went through trauma and my world collapsed. But what happened after was so different, so much better than what I ever imagined my life could be. It’s why I called my unpublished book describing this period of my life “The End. No, it wasn’t the end, it was just the beginning”.
I finished reading the article, added my thoughts in the comment, and read through the comments of other readers when my eyes stopped at the sentence “Ageing sucks! I am 51 and (…).” And this was the point when I got a bit confused… Is 51 regarded as old? Does it mean that in 3 years, I’ll be old? When are we old?
This made me think of the discussions I had about aging with some people in my life.
George’s mum was in her late 80ties when she suddenly realized…
Years ago, George’s mother was living with us on the property. One day I went to her cottage and found her sitting on an armchair, somehow sentimental, blindly looking through the window.
“Is everything okay, mum?” — I asked, quite concerned
“Oh, yes, darling, I am fine”, — she replied with a gentle smile still lost in her daydream
“You look so… pale and sad. Are you sure you are all right?” — I repeated my question, still troubled
“Yes, my darling, I’m perfectly fine. I just sat down, and suddenly I realized how old I am. I have never thought about aging, and just now, I realized I’m already 88 years old! Where did the years go? I have never thought I would live for so long,” — she replied in a warm voice, and I knew she was fine
“Mum, you are doing great! You look as if you were in your early 60ties and still get so much done in the house. As you know, I love your cooking! And should I ever make it to your age, I wish I were so mobile and active as you are!” — I replied in my usual cheerful voice, and she laughed wholeheartedly.
George’s mum was diagnosed with Diabetes type I when she was in her early 40ties. Since then, she had to inject herself with insulin three times a day. She had thyroid issues and a pretty long list of illnesses (oh boy, managing her medication was quite a big task! I was helping her with that).
She never allowed her illness, and later her age, to stop her from living and enjoying life. She was looking after her household, cooking for all of us, knitting, sewing, reading books, and more. Though she couldn’t go for walks on the farm, as the terrain was too rough, she took her wheelie-walker and walked on the verandah for 30 minutes every day. On days when the weather didn’t allow her to go outside, she would do her walking inside her tiny cottage.
It was Chris’s 39th birthday. He was worried he was getting too old…
It was a few years ago. I came to the office one day and my work colleague, Chris, celebrated his 39th birthday. We both worked in IT, and we understood each other very well. In some respect, we were more friends than colleagues.
“Happy birthday!” — I exclaimed
“Yeah… Thank you,” — replied Chris quietly with a wistful smile
“What’s wrong? It’s your birthday; you should be happy!” — I tried to cheer him up
“Yeah, I know… But… Next year I’ll be forty, and life is almost over… I’m getting old and haven’t achieved anything; I just wasted my life… Doing the boring job….” Chris continued in a listless voice
“Thank you! It means I’m old!” — I burst into laughter
“What? I didn’t say that!” — he chuckled, a bit confused
“You just said that 40 is old. I’m 44, so it means I’m old! But I can guarantee you; life isn’t over by 40 — as you can see, I’m well and truly alive!” — I replied, laughing
“Very funny! You aren’t even 40; you are younger than me” — he chuckled
“I’m 44; I’m not lying; I can show you my passport”, — I replied more seriously
“Okay, I believe you though you surely don’t look 40. Anyway, you have already succeeded in life. You travelled the world, are educated and have an established career. And I didn’t do anything, just stuck in the job I actually hate,” — replied Chris with resignation in his voice
“Well, that’s true, I made career, but I don’t have children, and you have two beautiful daughters. It’s not easy to be a single parent, and you did an excellent job as a dad, single dad. You raised two young ladies, all on your own. That’s a great achievement. And in regards to career, it’s never too late to make a career in IT,” — I replied in a friendly but serious voice
“That’s true”, — replied Chris smiling and in a visibly better mood
A few months after this conversation, Chris left the company and went back to university to complete a bachelor’s degree in computer science.
My dad is only 83 years old
My dad is 83 and still works in the garden (he loves it!) and travels with my mum (she is 12 years younger than him). He still has dreams and plans for the future and enjoys life.
A few years ago, he had an interesting experience relating to aging. He was working in the garden, digging out a stump of a 100-year-old tree that had dried out, and my dad wanted to remove it. An elderly man walked by. My dad had seen the man a few times before, he had to live somewhere in the neighbourhood, but they never spoke.
The man always walked very slowly, hunched over and dragging his feet. That day he stopped and, for a while, watched my father working. Finally, he said to my dad, “That’s such a hard work! When I was younger, I could do this type of work, too, but my young days are long gone. Now I’m much too old for such work. I was born in 1948! I’m really old!”. My dad interrupted his work, turned around, looked at the man, and replied, “And I was born in 1939.” and got back to his work. Since that day, it was as if the man got at least ten years younger. His posture changed; he walked with a straight back, lifting his feet, and was much more energetic.
My final thoughts
Maybe our age isn’t just a number but also depends on our mindset and attitude to life? If we believe we are too weak, too slow, or too old, we won’t find the energy and motivation to achieve what we want. But when we concentrate on our dreams and let them lead us, we will find the energy to pursue and achieve our goals.
Maybe age is like everything else in life, a matter of perception. If we concentrate on what we have lost or don’t have, we will get depressed and waste our lives. But, on the other hand, if we focus on what we have and what we can achieve in our life, regardless of which chapter of our life we reached, we can make it the best chapter in our life.
When we get older, we lose our youthful looks and physical strength, but we gain much more. We gain experience and wisdom, and this is much more worth than looks itself.
Though I wouldn’t say that elderly people don’t look beautiful, some look truly attractive and charming. If someone can go through storms of life, get to their old age, have a body covered with wrinkles, but in their eyes keep the spark of a careless teenager, and the net of the wrinkles on their faces shows a life full of laughter, then it was a life well-lived. This person knew how to live life to the fullest, make the best of what they had, and enjoy every minute of the journey; this is true beauty. Unfortunately, most people don’t understand that; they chase the shallow beauty of the young body, and it’s why they end up bitter, resentful, and full of regrets.
You can find more of my random thoughts in the following list
Enjoyed reading my story? Would you like to read more but can’t because you’ve hit the paywall? Sign up now for $5 a month and get unlimited access to more of my stories and lots of other inspiring stories! I will receive a portion of your payment, with zero extra cost for you.
You can also subscribe to my newsletter to receive an email every time I post, check out my blog featuring much more of my photos or you can find me on Quora, Instagram, Twitter or YouTube.
