“It’s Gonna always Be about Race with You huh?”

Reflections on the gaslighting shit racist white friends say.

Passive-aggression is still aggression

Passively Racist as Hell White Friend: “It’s gonna always be about race with you huh?”

Johnny S: “Look dude. It’s always about teeth to a dentist. It’s always about car parts to a mechanic. It’s always about English to an English teacher. Some people specialize in stuff.

You’re gonna have to deal with that reality.

A mechanic is good at the topic of vehicle maintenance because I suck at it; I’m good at the topic of racism because you suck at it. I’m quite sure you have a specialty or something you’re good at that I suck at. The difference is the fact that I don’t whine about whatever you’re smart on.

Think on your next response.”

White fragility is one hell of a drug.

Looking back at a scenario with passively racist white friends, I always find myself astonished at how white people from various backgrounds, from all over the United States, always react in a categorically predictable manner concerning race relations.

“It’s always about race for you, dude.”

Superlatives are hilarious. I always found superlatives funny because usually they are used in a fallacious, accusatory manner, and all it takes to disarm them is literally answer them. In many cases, this is a bit condescending, but if they are accusing you of always doing something, they are literally, categorically, guaranteed-in-life wrong. They did it to themselves and probably shouldn’t walk into answers like these:

“Well, not always, Jim. Three hours ago I was talking about lima beans. Would you rather talk about lima beans, Jim?”

In most cases, the “always about race” rhetorical device is hiding behind a question mark. As racism is cowardly and often summoned in passive-aggressive ways, it must prove true for the racism-denial discussion tactics.

“It’s always about race, isn’t it?”

The question form of this racial gaslighting can actually net more remarkable instances of condescending answers. You can just lean into it:

“Yes Ben, and your mom is always about fun, but you don’t see me complaining about it, do we? Anyway, back to the subject…”

Don’t do that; I’m just being brutally silly here.

“Well Benjamin, yes. Usually the topic of racism has racism in it. Very much like how the topic of food has food in it. Or the topic of sports has sports in it. The topic of clothing has clothing in it. Shall I go on?”

You can also ask questions that peel back layers. Such as, “What makes you speak in hyperbole in this instance?” You can also be more direct: “What makes you uncomfortable about this topic we are discussing?” “What makes you think I’m going to let you change the topic?” “Do you think that rhetorical device works on me?”

Usually, I do talk to the person like they are an idiot because that’s what they are being at the time.

A topic usually has the topic in it. In addition to that, if I were talking about lima beans, I’m talking about lima beans, and there’s probably no racism involved. Like any other of the various topics under God’s universe and Whoopi Goldberg’s internet.

But if I’m talking about racism, I’m talking about racism, and I’m fucking good at it.

This can be disrespectful, but most people need to understand that when people say these things, use deflections, and pivot in serious conversations about race, they are already disrespectful. They have already decided to be disrespectful to you; it’s only a matter of your patience level in taking it. If being infinitely sweet and nice ended racism, racism would have ended a long time ago.

These accusatory questions always point to the underlying fact that discussions on race relations make that white person uncomfortable. White people are used to the entire world revolving around them and only for them, so, therefore, their comfort runs the universe. It’s bizarre to witness a situation that doesn’t cater to their racial comfort. Part of white privilege is that you can anticipate racial comfort by expecting others’ racial silence and compliance. Such a privilege system needs to crumble in order for progress in our society. The whole racial experience of white privilege is bull, and it’s my position in life to cut the bull like a veteran matador.

“Why it always gotta be about race?”

When a white person says this, they merely communicate that their intent is to affirm nothing is ever about race (which is false). There’s always, infinitely, a non-racial justification for anything that ever occurs onto a Black person, which is totally that Black person’s fault.

There’s no such thing as racism to white people. Probably because there’s no such thing as racism, to white people.

Overall one must always be intellectually aggressive in regards to dealing with these deflections and accusations. If the topic is racism, then racism will be discussed, regardless of comfort level. If there’s no such thing as progress without struggle, then we all must bypass the white person’s struggle with maintaining a white supremacist, Black voice silencing stat quo. There is no other way.

In a world where conservatives love the phrase “facts don‘t care about your feelings,” sometimes they need a reminder of such wisdom. This discussion on racism will not care about your feelings.