Self-discovery and Wisdom

Always Standing Between Two People

We constantly move between two versions of ourselves — the new self and the old self. This was the day I realized that was true and why that’s a beautiful thing.

As I was taking my evening walk, with the sun out of sight and only the moon and the stars lighting up the sky, overlooking the beautiful beach port on this warm night, I surrendered once again to the beauty around me.

Approaching the beach, I took off my sandals to feel connected to the earth and to enjoy the sand hugging my feet. The fresh smell of the ocean water began to wash away my restless body and I was finally starting to feel calm again.

While breathing in the ocean scent, and letting it fill my lungs — hearing the powerful waves that the ocean was communicating with me through — I sat myself down on the sand, as close to the water I could possibly get without getting all wet.

It didn’t matter to me that I was wearing a white dress which was about to get sand dirty, nor did it matter that my eyes were starting to close themselves due to the run of emotions I had experienced earlier this day.

There were a couple of groups sitting comfortably on a blanket a few meters away. Some were drinking wine and some were playing around by the edge of the water.

I enjoyed it deeply.

Seeing people appreciating what nature has provided us with, completely free for us to enjoy, is something so powerful. Somehow it is all connecting us to each other because when we are in nature — we just are. And in nature, we feel free to be children again, sharing the joy with each other.

It’s like something else takes over and we find ourselves calm and happy.

The effect nature has on us reaches our hearts and we even share our inner joy with unknown people, not because they are successful or educated or even good looking.

We don’t care at that moment what others do for a living or what they have done in the past, we are just connected in a loving and genuine way and we enjoy it.

Gratitude in the midst of uncertainty and challenges

Crossing my legs into a meditative position, but without actually meditating, gratitude washed over me. Even in the midst of all the chaos going on, there was now only hope and gratitude, no pain, only joy, and a sense of enormous freedom.

I was amazed, as I had been for months, how one could find beauty in the middle of challenges and a rocky road. I knew I was happy to be who I had become and I was proud, relieved.

It didn’t matter to me that I didn’t have it all figured out. I was unemployed, living in a foreign country — but I was happy. I was happy because I had found the courage to follow my intuition and live out my dream — to live by the ocean and spend my days writing.

Here was this person who had once been so insecure, so lost in herself, and was now transformed into this woman who could find gratitude in the smallest of things, like the stars and the sky, the palm trees, and other people’s laughter.

Yet there was still a road in front of me, I was still transforming and becoming someone who believed in myself even more, not afraid to share my vision and gifts with the world.

A new discovery of the self and life’s journey

I was hit with a new epiphany and everything became so clear. I realized I was standing between two people — the old me and the new me. I was on my way towards a version of myself I had not yet experienced.

I realized that I wasn’t done, the words “we are never really done” revealed their meaning to me right then and there.

We are never really done — how real and how wonderful at the same time.

I suddenly began to enjoy my position in the middle, between two worlds and two realities. Between the old and the new. I was, for the first time, comfortable with standing in the middle. I was still evolving as a person, still discovering things within myself which were leading me to the person standing on the other side — my future self.

There was no way of going back, not because I wanted to, but simply because there was only one path and that was forward. The bridge behind me was already gone and I was glad.

As I had started on a journey towards freeing myself from self-blame and destructive thoughts and patterns, exploring new ways of thinking with a mix of science and spirituality put into practice, the bridge that had crumbled behind me didn’t appeal to me anymore.

It wasn’t comforting going back to the old because the old didn’t call to me. It had finally gone silent. I had learned and experienced too much by now. This was what it meant to only see the good and the beautiful moments that had got me here, no matter how good or bad they had seemed when they happened.

This was what it meant to look back with no regrets.

So with this new realization, I was happy just where I was. I never thought that I would get there but everything I had found on the way — faith, love, and healing — was now coming to light. It was helping me and guiding me.

It was like I was being rewarded for all of it, for going deep within and moving forward in a different way.

It was like the moon was smiling at me, the ocean waves said: “well done”, and the stars were dancing with joy.

This was how it felt to stand in the middle, ready for whatever was about to come.

I took a deep breath, said goodnight to the stars, the moon, and the ocean and started walking my sleepy body back home, ready to become one with the night and ready for the next day — another day where I would be standing between two people, two worlds, and two realities.

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As always, with love,

Simona