Summary

The web content provides humorous alternate endings to 25 well-known proverbs, challenging traditional wisdom with a twist of wit.

Abstract

The article titled "Alternate Endings to 25 Famous Proverbs" offers a playful take on classic sayings, presenting them with unexpected and often humorous conclusions. The author, Rob Dods, builds on the success of a previous work that reimagined the endings of great poems, now turning his attention to proverbs. Each traditional piece of wisdom is followed by a satirical punchline that subverts the original meaning, such as suggesting that "where there's smoke, there's fire" might actually be due to someone putting powder in a hairdryer. The collection of reimagined proverbs invites readers to consider the absurdity and rigidity of some common sayings by adding a dash of humor and irreverence.

Opinions

The author implies that some proverbs are outdated or too simplistic, as seen in the alternate ending suggesting that "two wrongs don't make a right" could lead to an argument rather than a resolution.
There is a subtle critique of how people might misuse proverbs to justify their actions, such as the twist on "The grass is always greener," which humorously warns against trespassing.
The piece playfully questions the practicality of some proverbs, like "Don't put all your eggs in one basket," by suggesting an even larger container, like a casket.
The author pokes fun at the sometimes nonsensical nature of proverbs, for example, by turning "The proof is in the pudding" into a discovery of a cockroach.
Some alternate endings carry a darker humor, like the one for "You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs," which compares it to the necessity of breaking legs in the mafia.
The article uses humor to challenge the reader to think more critically about the advice embedded in proverbs, suggesting that blind adherence to these sayings can lead to absurd situations.

Alternate Endings to 25 Famous Proverbs

Where one door shuts, another one opens.

— If you want more wisdom, insert three tokens.

I previously penned an article called Alternate Endings — A Tribute to Great Poems. In that same vein, here are some alternate endings to famous proverbs. Enjoy!

1. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

— That’s repulsive, now I have to skip dinner!

2. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

— But if it just can’t be done — well, what can you say?

3. Where there’s smoke there’s fire.

— Who put the powder in the hairdryer?

4. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

— But only budding serial killers know that.

5. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

— You say they do? It’s on! Let’s fight!

6. The grass is always greener…

— Wait! Don’t vault that fence, it’s a misdemeanor!

7. The proof is in the pudding.

— No wait, that’s a cockroach, yuck… I can’t stop looking!

8. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

— Find something larger to hold them— perhaps a casket?

9. Don’t put the cart before the horse.

— She’s told you a million times! Are you trying for a divorce?

10. When in Rome…

— Keep your eyes peeled for the Travelocity gnome.

11. Practice makes perfect.

— But for some athletes, PEDS are probably worth it.

12. There is safety in numbers.

— Maybe…that is, until you’re outnumbered.

13. You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.

— And, you can’t succeed long in the mafia without breaking legs.

14. Money doesn’t grow on trees.

— Just sell your dad’s car — here’re the keys.

15. Curiosity killed the cat.

— She put up a good fight, but alas —she was fat.

16. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

— No one here knows the Heimlich, and you might gag or spew.

17. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

— They just used it to cover a sneeze, Ewwww!

18. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

— If it is broken, then kick it!

19. If you play with fire, you’ll get burned.

— If you weren’t aware of that, I’m a little concerned.

20. Ignorance is bliss.

— So be happy and go, you are dismissed.

21. It’s not over till it’s over.

— Okay, Mr. Obvious. Are you even sober?

22. Laughter is the best medicine.

— That can’t be right, needs to be edited.

23. Learn to walk before you run.

— You know what? Just hop, it’s much more fun!

24. It takes two to tango.

— Would I like to dance? Umm, thanks… no!

(Number twenty-five is in the subtitle!)

@ 2022, Rob Dods