Already Failed Your New Year’s Resolutions? Chose A Theme Instead
Give the new year a purpose instead of goals.
We are midway through January. How did the first weeks of the new year go for you?
Did you already break your new year’s resolution?
Do you feel bad about it?
Don’t be.
Considering that the vast majority of people who set new year’s resolutions fail to achieve them, I think the concept is inherently flawed.
In fact, I have never been a fan of new year’s resolutions.
I never found it logical to set goals and improve my life only because a new year starts. It seemed an arbitrary date. Yes, I acknowledge that a new year brings with it the aura of a fresh start, but how different is your life really? For most of us, we are still living in the same city, are holding the same job, and have the same taste in music.
That does not mean I don’t like setting goals — quite the contrary.
If there were a world championship in goal setting and planning every step to achieve them, you would have to reserve a spot on the podium for me. I set goals for my business, physical fitness, relationships, finances.
There are no limits to my goal setting frenzy.
However, instead of new year’s resolutions, I pick a theme for the new year, and I encourage you to do the same. What do I mean by that, and how does this play out in my own life? Read on to find out.
What Is A New Year’s Theme?
A new year’s theme is a word or a short sentence that guides you through your year. Whereas resolutions are narrow goals you want to accomplish, a theme gives you a direction. It serves as a bigger vision for your life. When you set goals, you design them to concretize that vision.
Why is that useful?
Because goals tend to be outcome-oriented, narrow, and achieving them is not always in your control.
Take the old crowd-pleaser “losing weight,” for example. No matter if you stick with that vague phrase or choose a more concrete one, like “I will lose 10 kg”, you are focused on an outcome.
The focus is narrow, as all that matters is the number on the scale. You can achieve that goal by simply eating less of what you are eating now. Food quality wouldn’t matter all that much.
When you choose a theme like “health,” however, you have a more flexible framework to work with to achieve your goal of “losing weight.”
Your goals can change too.
Let’s say, in alignment with your theme, “health,” you start to listen to health podcasts, read fitness blogs, and join a gym.
You become more knowledgeable in the area of health.
After 3 months, you decide that “losing weight” is not a goal you want to pursue anymore because you learned that body composition matters more than the number on a scale.
A theme is flexible, gives you a macro view, and can help you narrow down your goals.
For example, I like to set goals for each month of the year. Using my chosen theme as my guide, I can pick goals that align with my long-term vision.
This helps me tremendously with prioritizing.
I tend to set an insane number of goals for myself and, in the past, often achieved very little because my energy was scattered instead of focused on a few main goals.
My Themes For 2021
I usually don’t sit down and think about the theme for the new year of my life. Instead, it is a process of thinking and reflecting by journaling and going for long walks or runs. This year 3 themes emerged, and I decided to keep all three:
Renewal, Adventure, Love.
They complement each other nicely and express exactly how I want to live my life moving forward. Let’s look at each in turn.
Renewal
I want 2021 to be a year of renewal. Not in the meaning of “extension,” but in the sense of “rebuilding,” “restart,” and “restoration.”
The last year was marked by massive private and professional struggles and rapid changes. More often than not, it felt as if I was going through an emotional firestorm.
Of course, Covid-19 contributed much to these feelings, but it is not the only reason. As I am writing this, Germany is amid a strict shutdown, and the situation is far from relaxed. However, I feel a sense of calm and serenity.
The fire that raged in my life is out.
And like new life emerges after a devastating forest fire, new beginnings emerged in my life that might not have been possible without the past year’s many crises.
I want to nurture these seedlings and see them grow into massive trees of peace and joy.
Adventure
This ties in with the renewal theme, as I want to bring adventure back into my life. The past 3 years have been more mundane than I wish my life to be, and moving forward, I want to make a conscious effort to change that again.
At the moment, I am thinking mainly of physical challenges, like going for some long-distance hikes, racing marathons again, and possibly tackling an ultra-marathon.
I also have a Kettlebell certification weekend coming up, which had to be postponed due to Covid-19. I hope I will have the possibility this year to earn the instructor status.
However, an adventure doesn’t have to be a fitness challenge.
I also have some cool experiences planned that involve my girlfriend.
And finally, “adventure” also means simply saying yes more often to new experiences and trying out more things.
Love
Love makes sure I choose the right actions. Over the years, I have become more confident in trusting myself and my abilities. However, I feel that fear-based decision making is still holding me back too often.
For this year, I want to be more aware of this and base my actions on love.
I strive to evaluate all actions against this standard.
For example, if a new exciting experience shows up, it would fit the theme of “adventure.” I will then ask myself why I want to engage in this experience. Do I want to engage with it because I am afraid I would miss out otherwise (fear) or do I want to experience this out of curiosity (love)?
Love also means to make room for activities that I love but didn’t make time for in the past years, like reading and writing poetry or baking.
Most importantly, I want to give my girlfriend enough time and attention and strengthen our beautiful bond.
How To Choose Your Theme
Are you ready to ditch your new year’s resolutions and give the practice of theme setting a try? If so, maybe you ask yourself how to start.
First off, you only need to have one new year’s theme. In fact, that is what most people do.
I chose to stick with the three that emerged because they complement each other well, and I wanted to give them all equal importance in 2021.
As I described above, I don’t sit down and brainstorm themes. Instead, it is a process that takes a few days, and the theme usually emerges as a result of journaling and going for long walks.
However, the following questions can guide you to choose your theme:
- Which area of your life feels lacking?
- Which area of your life do you want to change?
- What do you want to change about yourself? Which behaviors?
- What are your values?
Your theme can be connected to concrete goals, like the example “health” is connected to the “losing weight” goal.
You can also choose a state of mind or state of being you want to embody, like “breathe,” “keep it simple,” or “daily fulfillment.”
Important is that the theme has meaning to you and that it inspires you.
A little challenge is always a good idea, too :). Don’t rush through the process. Give yourself a couple of days to meditate on it if you need. As I’ve said, I usually develop my theme over several days. Once you decided on your theme, make sure to remind yourself of it daily. I do this by keeping a note on my desk so that I see it every morning. I also wrote it on the top of my goals and planning file. That way, I make sure all goals align with my overall vision for the year.
If you haven’t yet, pick a theme for the next months ahead and post it somewhere where you see it daily. You might just give your year more direction and purpose.