Allies, practice your anti-racism skills this Christmas while eating turkey with family

Stand for more than saying you’re not racist. Actively fight it.

It’s that time of year again, when allies get together with their racist relatives and avoid any talk about politics and social justice. But I challenge you this holiday season to start that conversation.

What better time to began than during the holiday season? After all, what is Christmas for if not to call out horrible racist relatives and remind them this is a season to love and accept everybody? And not just in theory. I’m talking about examining their racist beliefs and starting to understand how their actions oppress black and brown people.

This is a hard conversation because these are people you love. Love them enough to help them become better people. Love them enough to open their eyes to everyday suffering of people around them. Help them understand that “those people” have the same aspirations for their lives as they do. They want to have a good life, raise their children… they want to feel as if they belong in a country that tries so hard to tell them they do not.

Explain that to your relative. Tell them how there are whole populations of people who feel alien in their own country. Many of us feel like we don’t have a home, that somehow we’re interlopers on this land where our ancestors have lived for several generations. Others of us have fought hard to become Americans, and yet your relatives never miss a chance to tell us to go back to our own country, that we’re not wanted here. Why? Because we’re not like them, and they can’t accept that. They won’t accept that.

As hard as this conversation will be for you, your discomfort doesn’t match the terror many black and brown people face in this country. Imagine going about your life and someone calls the police on you — for cashing a check, for barbecuing, for delivering packages, for swimming… for having the nerve to believe we have the inalienable right to live our lives.

So what does this holiday mean? I don’t want another year of allies sitting quiet as Uncle Fred talks about why there are so many niggers in the neighborhood now and how he doesn’t like it. I don’t want Aunt Caroline asking why she has to hear people speaking Spanish in her local grocery store. Don’t get me started on this idea racists have that English is our official language. We don’t have an official language, just like we don’t have an official religion. Explain that over Christmas dinner.

I don’t care how you start the conversation. Just say something. Bring up a recent news article, such as the story about the black high school wrestler who was forced to cut off his dreadlocks or forfeit his match. Talk about what happened and then point out how not one white person intervened to protect this child. Not one. Why is that?

Start there. Then prepare for a fight. Your relatives have been racists most, if not all, of their lives. This isn’t a one-talk discussion. Commit yourself to multiple conversations, many of which may get heated and painful. But it’s the only way to make real change.

If you really want to be an ally, this is what the work entails.

NOTE: If you’re a woman looking for tools to do anti-racism work and/or want a female relative to go through training with you, message my group Real Talk on Facebook for details about our two-week online mentoring program. The cost is only $35.

Follow me on Twitter:@LeciaMichelle.