Supernatural Series, Guide, Terminology

All You Pretty Vagrants Alphabet

The A to Z of Patricia Ray’s sexy vampires series

Aldert Dekker is an androgynous young man who turned vampire in 1918. He came to Amsterdam in 1912 as a young country boy from the northern province. Under the wings of Mrs Falck, an eccentric baroness, he quickly discovered the pleasures of bohemian night life. His sex drive pushed him into the arms of many men and women. Until he met the English dandy Simon Ferrier, with whom he fell head over heels in love. Simon introduced him to vampirism and Aldert chose the life of immortals with him, becoming Simon’s Lock-Angel.

Bloodflow is a phenomenon that occurs between family members who are vampires. The already existing blood bond creates an astral connection which cannot be broken. It is a means to communicate and sense presence. It’s inescapable bond and not always a good thing.

Casper Hauer is an Enlightened One who was an Ancient once. Nobody knows exactly how old he is. Aldert is his protegé, even before he was a vampire, although Aldert didn’t know this at the time. Being an alchemist, Hauer is a great cook, but he’s most famous for his wines, which have a fantastic aphrodisiac effect, especially on vampires.

Draining is the vampire term for sucking all the blood out of a human body, leading to death. To vagrant vampires (vagramps) this is an abomination. They suck blood from humans—preferably during sex—but only in reasonable and non-life threatening amounts. Vagramps consider humans equal beings, as they do animals and creatures like shapeshifters (werewolves) and faery folk. But vampires who belong to clans of Ancients still uphold the old ways, which means draining and killing is allowed and even considered righteous. These vampires deem themselves superior to all beings and creatures.

Enlightenment. In the vampire world, Enlightenment is the term for believing all creatures are equal. It changed vampirism and out of the movement of Enlightenment, the vagramps rose. They are the Enlightened Ones, as opposed to the Ancient Ones who live in clans.

Fix. The Fix is the mythical elixir of eternal life. Some say it’s a wine made from grapes that grow on the slopes of the river Styx near the border with the Underworld or Realm of Shadows. Others claim it’s distilled from the placentas of newly born humans. Nowadays, a lot of vamps don’t even believe it truly exists, as resurrections are extremely rare. But some vampires believe that Casper Hauer is the Keeper of the Fix.

Geraldine Albi is Aldert’s best friend and lover, together with Parker. She’s a headstrong French woman from noble descent, who willingly turned in the 1920s after falling in love with the Senegalese vampire Malick. Unfortunately, he was killed soon after their union and Geraldine, seeking refuge, came to Aldert and Parker who were living in Paris with Simon Ferrier at the time. They hit it off instantly and Geraldine became part of their household. Before the Second World War, Geraldine met Raja Kunal, and they fell in love. Kunal agreed to be turned, and they left for India soon after his Turning. Recently, the couple returned to Europe and met up with Aldert and Parker in Amsterdam. But Geraldine came with a hidden agenda, as the Marquis pressured her through bloodflow to discover the secret of The Fix. Casper Hauer saw through her plan and helped her to unburden herself of the Marquis’ hold on her. Reunited with her long-time friends, Geraldine is now determined to kill her great-great uncle and be free of him forever.

Hypersexuality. All vampires are hypersexual, which means they have an extremely high and insistent libido. It is also known as Nymphomania or Satyriasis. This condition might have to do with the vampiric metabolism changing over the centuries due to their long life span. As Casper Hauer says, ‘There’s always time for a good wank or fuck’.

Immortality. Vampires live much longer than humans, but they are, in fact, not immortal. Still, amongst vamps, the word immortals is used referring to themselves. The ageing process of vamps is very slow, but after 300–400 years, they definitely show age and lose their special qualities. With age, the hunger for blood increases, especially for the blood of pregnant women and babies, as this prolongs vamp life. When old vampires refuse to accept their mortal fate, they become dangerous and reckless, especially if they’re Ancient Ones with no regard for human life. It is said only The Fix generates true immortality.

Jennifer Lind is a mortal human on whom Aldert has a crush which could develop into love. He is considering turning her as his Lock-Angel. But after two encounters that were orgasmically hot for both of them, Jennifer ran away as fast as she could when Aldert showed her he’s a vampire. But as any vampire would say, ‘There’s enough time for things to change’.

Key-Lover. When a vampire turns a human out of love and the human consents, they become their Key-Lover. With this connection comes the responsibility and the care during the Turning. Key-Lovers and Lock-Angels are bound by love and blood for life. Simon Ferrier was Aldert’s Key-Lover. Geraldine is Kunal’s Key-Lover.

Lock-Angel. A turned human is called a Lock-Angel. Sometimes the German word Lochengel is used, because a German vampire called Ernst Loch wrote the 15th century vampiric chronicle, Seven Weeks of Wanton. In it, he referred to turned humans as angels as he considered vampires to be the children of the fallen angel Lucifer.

Marquis. The Marquis of Albignac is Geraldine's great-great uncle. He was born in 1682 in Gascony, France, as the only son of an aristocrat. Turned at fourteen by a Spanish count, he killed his Key-Lover in 1734 to start his own clan. He is the most feared Ancient in Europe. The Marquis was responsible for the killing of the Senegalese vampire Malick, who was Geraldine’s Key-Lover. Through bloodflow he tries to control Geraldine, and use her to reach his ultimate goal: to get his hands on The Fix, the mysterious elixir of eternal life.

Nerezza Negroni is Aldert’s nemesis. She’s an old vamp and one of the most prominent members of the clan of the Marquis. She’s vicious and vindictive. While roaming through France, Aldert and Parker fell into her trap and she held them capture in the wine cellars of the Marquis’ castle. She wanted to force them to become sex slaves and lure humans for the clan to drain. But Aldert and Parker escaped and found their way to Amsterdam, where they got protection from Hauer. Nerezza followed them and after a bloody fight, Aldert learned she was the one who turned his Key-Lover Simon Ferrier without his consent. Simon later scalded her face with acid. During their fight in Amsterdam, Aldert offered to spare Nerezza’s life, but instead of accepting his generosity, she attacked. Aldert subsequently slashed her genitals and left her to bleed out. If she survived, she will seek him out with a vengeance.

Orgasm. As hypersexual beings, vampires need to orgasm at least four times a day. If they have sex with human mortals, reaching a climax is difficult and takes time. For the human this is exhilarating, especially as vampires have extraordinary stamina. Between vamps, reaching an orgasm takes less effort, because of the ability of vamps to move fast, be it with their fingers, tongue, or pelvis, known as Vamp Friction.

Parker Pomo is a Native-American vampire and Aldert’s best mate. The two of them are inseparable. Parker was born in 1855 in dire circumstances. His mother, a young woman from the Miwok tribe, worked as a cook during the California Gold Rush. She got pregnant after being abused by gold diggers. She raised her child as well as she could, but their life after the Civil War was harsh. She died of tuberculosis at a young age and 16-year-old Parker ended up being turned against his will by a travelling magician who soon left him for another young victim. Scarred by the trauma, Parker crossed the US, leaving a bloody trail of draining kills behind. In New York, he got himself on a boat to Europe. Parker is a good-hearted vagramp, but he can be erratic in his behaviour. Aldert and Simon convinced him to cease draining humans, and he hasn’t drained a human for over 50 years. But the hunger and his trauma can still bring him on the brink of wanting to kill.

Qualities. Vampires develop special qualities and skills over the years. Aldert has perfected shimmering, the ability to move extremely fast over short distances. Parker is a specialist in geckoing, the vampire version of parkour or freerunning. He can run around on walls and ceilings and bounce off them to attack enemies. Geraldine is a scipio, which means she has dream visions that hint at future events. Hauer is not only an alchemist but also a mentalist, able to read minds, even over distances. This skill of thought transference or telepathy is mostly seen amongst older vampires, as it takes decades to master. A quality in all vampires is their bat-like super-hearing.

Raja Kunal is an Indian prince and Geraldine’s Lock-Angel. He impressed Geraldine with Tantric lovemaking when he visited Paris in the 1930s. After his consent to her Turning him, they travelled back to India and drifted through Asia for decades. Kunal is an excellent swordsman, and he has killed many enemies with his Kukri machete. Kunal and Parker have had a crush on each other since Paris and they often fuck each other’s brain out.

Steven was Aldert’s first love when they were still a mortal. They lived together with Baroness Falck in a ménage à trois in Amsterdam during the 1920s. Disaster struck when Steven was violently drained on the street by an unknown vampire. Steven’s death hurt Aldert immensely, and the scar of grief still flares up sometimes. Recently, another Steven has appeared in Aldert’s life. A young man who was almost drained to death by a scout of the Marquis. Aldert saved him by bringing him to Hauer, who healed the boy. But after the attack of Nerezza and her Killing Squad, Hauer fled Amsterdam and took the now immortal Steven Severin with him.

Turning is the process of becoming a vampire. It takes seven weeks to complete it. During those weeks, the Lock-Angel is fed with the blood of their Key-Lover during long sessions of lovemaking. The hunger for human blood increases, and so does the libido. The vampire chronicler Ernst Loch described the process in his Seven Weeks of Wanton. Resurrection is a form of Turning, done through administering The Fix. This is very rare.

Ultra-violet light is harmful to the retina of vampires. As it is present in sunlight, vamps always wear sunglasses with UV-filters during daylight hours, especially when outside. Some vamps avoid direct sunlight altogether.

Vagramps or Valiant Vagramps are the Enlightened Ones who abhor the draining and killing of humans. They are wanderers because they’ve denounced clan culture. Their nomadic way of life gives vagramps the opportunity to visit many countries and engage with a variety of people and cultures. Throughout the decades since Enlightenment, vagramps learned dozens of languages and customs from Patagonia to Iceland, and from Dakar to Tokio. A wide network has been established, and all vagramps are hospitable to other vagramps. Even humans are part of this network, offering shelter and friendship. Vagramps are hunted by Ancients and their clans who want to eradicate vagramism.

Wine is the preferred beverage for vampires. This dates back to antiquity when so called Maenads or Raving Ones worshipped the wine god Dionysus. It is said that their frenzied and intoxicated dancing often led to an abundance of sexual activities and blood sucking. Barbera Venera is a famous and very popular wine in the vampire world because it’s a powerful aphrodisiac. Casper Hauer is the main reseller of this wine, as he holds the secret to its potent ingredient. Wine has traditionally been part of human rites to keep vampires at bay, like garlic and holy water. To vampires, this is comical because they love wine, often use garlic in their cooking and consider holy water a fraud of the Catholic Church.

Xerostomia is a common affliction among vampires, which causes dryness in the mouth. The dysfunctionality of salivary glands is attributed to coeliac or celiac disease, which is an auto-immune disorder that causes an intolerance to gluten. This is another reason wine is preferred by vamps as grapes are naturally gluten free. Dry mouth is tedious when kissing or giving blowjobs and with performing cunnilingus. So vamps often use wine and other liquids during sex to compensate for the xerostomia.

Yearning is the term vamps use to describe the desire to die. It is a severe depression most vampires go through at least once in their long lives. A lot of vampires cannot bear to live longer than 150 years and become prone to this depression. The Yearning is a vampiric ritual initiating and accomplishing suicide. It takes seven days, mirroring Turning, where the Yearning One needs to be in the company of at least one other vampire. On the last day, the Yearner uses a knife or short sword for disembowelment, similar to Japanese seppuku. During the bleed out, the assisting vampire guides the Yearner into oblivion.

Zinc deficiency occurs in all vampires. Consuming human blood raises a vamp’s zinc levels significantly. But vagramps who limit drinking human blood, complement with a zinc rich diet comprising meats, fish, fowl, eggs and dairy. Semen is rich in zinc too, so vamps swallow when giving a blowjob. ‘You better swallow, if you want to stay up’, is a well-known vampire expression because zinc deficiency can lead to impotence. But excess zinc can be harmful; zinc toxicity is fatal to vampires through severe haemolytic anaemia, the abnormal breakdown of red blood cells. Therefore, vampire hunters use zinc shotgun shells to kill vamps.

Patricia Ray’s All You Pretty Vagrant-series continues Sunday January 9. You can find all previous episodes here.

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