Summary

The website content is a reflective poem and essay inspired by Rainer Maria Rilke's Sixth Elegy, exploring the concept of time, existence, and the search for meaning within the present moment.

Abstract

The text delves into a philosophical contemplation where the author questions the nature of time, suggesting a reality devoid of past, future, and present, envisioning existence as a boundless constellation without linear progression. The author describes a state of being where one is suspended in a timeless and spaceless realm, finding peace and contentment akin to the tranquility of a 'star gazer lily'. However, this serene state is contrasted with the pull towards a perceived truth, which leads to a struggle characterized by a sense of obligation to strive and fight, despite the uncertainty of direction. The narrative touches on the feelings of confusion, shame, and guilt that accompany this struggle, yet ultimately, it resolves in a moment of surrender and inner calm, emphasizing the profound realization that "All I am is now." The piece concludes with a mention of future works inspired by the remaining elegies and an invitation for reader engagement, along with a link to the author's personal page for further exploration of their work.

Opinions

The author challenges the conventional understanding of time, suggesting a universe where temporal divisions do not exist.
There is a sense of conflict between the tranquility of timeless existence and the societal pressure to progress and achieve.
The text suggests that peace and contentment are attainable when free from the constraints of time and space.
The author expresses a personal journey from confusion and struggle to enlightenment and acceptance of the present moment.
The piece reflects on the human condition, highlighting the internal battle between the desire for stillness and the compulsion to strive for an elusive 'reality'.
The author invites the reader to engage with their work and provides a personal connection through the mention of upcoming projects and a link to their personal page.

All I Am is Now

Inspired by the sixth of Rainer Maria Rilke’s Elegies

What if there is no such thing as time. No past. No future. No now. One homogenous mass. A constellation with no bounds, no linear movement. No choice to go back or move forward. No step to take.

Surrounded by a black hole I can only remain. Here. Nothing exists.

Wallow or flourish. Still is the answer.

No movement. No jail of my imagination. Without space and time — peace. Contentment - a star gazer lily with pink at the edges, full of ripe pollen.

Float here. Free of shackles. Cradled in the womb of eternity. A bubble of serenity.

Yet.

A hangman’s noose waits for me to place my neck, into its choking loop.

A compelling force leads me to a spurious truth. Drags me into an oblivion I welcome willingly and in innocence. Conditioned to believe the best is found in the moonless night.

I fumble around, strive for the light I left behind. Hackles rise, composure unbalanced. A yoke placed on my shoulder, a force pushes and shoves, discombobulates, and tells me:

THIS.

THIS IS REAL.

THIS IS REALITY.

I acquiesce. Follow the instruction to strive. Fight. Bludgeon your way forward. “What’s forward?” I scream into the void. Arms flail, clutch for tenure. An abyss looms below my feet. Straight jacketed without a map. Propelled into delusion. A jetstream gives an illusion of distance travelled.

I wail for guidance, pray for my blighted existence. This blind path has me shut down in shame and guilt. Delilah has me cut off at the roots. I cower like a baby at her feet.

Foetal. I sink inside myself. Hide my shame. Close my eyes to the outside world. Folded arms around my body for cold comfort. Curled into a ball I pray for the sleep of the dead.

And as I pray,

and as I fall to sleep,

and as I close my eyes and see inside,

a calmness forms a warm bath around my soul, a suffusion of white silk. Smooth caramel floats through my veins.

Back in the bubble of eternity. The past recedes. The future disappears.

All I am is now.

Another poem created after studying the sixth of Rainer Maria Rilke’s Elegies. Please do let me know what you make of this! :)

There will be some pieces inspired by the remaining four elegies in the Spring, when I’m back in class with Jules Swales.

If you would like to find out more about what I do in the world — here I am: https://linktr.ee/iliffewood