Air Plants Are Easy They Say

Oh really? On what planet? We’ve killed seven and put two on hospice.

We’ve followed four different instructions — they’ve shriveled and died. It’s awful. Our first air plant came from a wedding. We cradled it like a baby, soaking it one hour per week.

We were diligent. We were precise. After four months, it died.

I bought three skeletons with air-plant hair. It took two months to kill them.

I bought three nursery air-plants. “They,” said spray them with water once a week. Uh-no. They died.

I fed another one nutrients per online instructions. Nope. Killed that one too.

I tried the skeletons again, in new locations. Bathrooms! Think filtered light, moist air. Guess what? They’re dying.

“They,” say air plants are easy. I say, “they’re crazy”.

If you know how to keep air-plants alive, please share.