PHILOSOPHY

Against The Group

Sticking to our values even against the majority

Why is it so hard to stay true to ourselves? It’s a question that I pondered for a while and something I thought about for a bit.

I mean, it should be a straightforward thing to carry out, right? You are just acting like how you usually do and expressing yourself.

Yet strangely enough, there is always something that hinders it and sometimes breaks it down. For example, you can be great at so many things, but that one thing about your true self.

That is considered ‘odd’ or weird’ to a community, will at times, lead them to think something is wrong.

You can be one of the smarties in your class, getting good grades, and most of your tests are over 90 percent. You could be in a club or on a sports team, being a good player and teammates, helping out.

But that one thing about yourself, that is considered different. In a way, you are being looked at as an outcast because you aren’t conforming to what people see as normal.

And because of this need to conform, we sometimes began to rigorously suppress ourselves. Without us even recognizing it, leading us to become something warp or different from how we before.

What is Conformity?

Conformity can be considered a process by which we follow a standard or value that changes our view and self to match with others closely.

Such as groups you belong to or wish to reside or want to gain their approval.

Most people have done it before once in their life, some more than others, and usually relate to almost anything.

For example, you could have a personal answer but when you hear your groupmate answer, you might switch to theirs. Since you may not want to be the odd one out of the group or just simply to get it over with.

Kelman Hubert a psychologist was able to“ distinguish between three different types of conformity”

Compliance is the first of the three. It occurs when you are influenced and agree to the majority even though you don’t agree internally with what they are stating.

The second would be internalization which is similar to Compliance but not only do they agree to the majority publicly. But also internally, with them sometimes you begin to modify your belief to fit the majority or view of the public view.

The third would be Identification is similar to the part about one wearing countless masks as they are ‘acting’ out their role. For example, if you are a teacher, you will be acting like how a teacher would act regardless of your own value or your own opinion.

Similar to compliance, it’s more public than internal and private.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time time to pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain

How does it block our true selves?

Conformity will have you subtly changing your action, attitudes, and perception to fit the group. But sometimes even worse it will have you throwing away your core value and not being able to act like yourself.

You would need to either sometimes change your belief or create a mask over it to fit in.

Internalization would have you change your belief and view to fit the group or majority, taking away what makes you, well you.

Compliance would require you to keep lying to yourself and accept the group majority no matter how badly you dislike it. It would be no different than suppressing your truest feelings all because we don’t want to stand out.

Identification could be considered the least most damaging as long as the role you do doesn't divert too far from your true self.

Similar to what I said in Myraid Mask, when your mask or role diverges too much from your true self. Things start to get dangerous for you, leading to instability and sometimes mistaking that role for yourself.

“We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.”― Arthur Schopenhauer

How do you stop it from suppressing it?

You may have to go against the act agreeing with a group or the majority, just to fit in.

You may be treated as abnormal or people might think you’re annoying for not following their ways. Some may even think you aren’t doing any good and just making things worse.

Or simply finding a group that is similar or relates you than the ones that wish to change you. But there isn’t anything wrong with confirming as long as you don’t give up most of yourself to fit a group.

Similar to crafting an identity for various parts of your life. It shouldn’t be too different from your true-self and shouldn’t be mistaken for it. If it requires you to change or give up so much of yourself, sometimes it’s better not to conform.