After Years of Special Education, I Graduated to the Eighth Grade in the Middle of the Semester

I have learned a lot since then

The memories are vague. I remember having trouble with math. I remember my mom crying in frustration because I couldn’t figure out how to tie my shoes.

I remember other students teasing me because I was in Special Ed. I was riding the short bus for years before they determined that I could go to mainstream schools.

I was diagnosed with Dyslexia when I was ten years old

I was reading at a college level before I was in high school. I never could grasp math. To this day, I can’t make change or keep my checkbook straight.

I was in the seventh grade at Yokota Air Force Base in Japan. I was a big kid and I was older than my classmates because Schools had held me back for so long.

I was called to the Guidance Counselor’s office one afternoon

One day when I was in seventh grade the guidance counselor called me to his office. They were promoting me to the eighth grade the next quarter.

I’m known for not being a smiler, but at that moment my grin could have split my skull in two. I was on cloud nine the rest of the day.

I had come a long way since the doctors diagnosed the Dyslexia. I had also taken a baby step toward overcoming the “Brain Damage” label that the doctors hung on me.

The mid-term promotion gave me a big head

The next quarter I strutted into my first eighth class like I owned the place. I never was a great student while I was in Japan, but I did well enough to go to high school earlier than I thought I would.

It’s too bad that I couldn’t maintain that level of confidence. I was still the clumsy, pizza-faced fat kid. I didn’t realize how bad my self-esteem was until I looked back years later.

I didn’t apply myself in High School at all

I did enough in high school to graduate, but I almost didn’t make it. I defied expectations again when I flew back to the States from Japan without my family.

I ended up back home. My attempt at launching into adulthood crashed and burned. My family had come back to the States two and a half years after I did.

I wasn’t as grown as I thought I was, I returned home

I didn’t do well away from my family. Soon after they came back to the States my parents called me. They wanted me to come home. At that time, the family was in Texas and I was in Denver.

The offer to come get me was a relief. I didn’t hesitate. My mom drove to Denver to get me and my brother. My brother was in college in Boulder.

My parents knew I had problems. They thought a Vocational Rehabilitation program would help me. After losing another job I agreed.

The Vocational Counselor went through the motions to appease my parents

The Vocational counselor I had thought I was a liar and a slacker. He wasn’t any help at all. I spent my time in Texas drunk, high and most of the time unemployed.

We kept trying Vocational Rehabilitation. I never could learn a trade. By this time we had moved to Florida. After another try at Vocational Rehabilitation. My parents told me to get a security guard job.

I felt like my parents gave up on me. The Guard job was their last hope

In Florida, Guard Companies will hire anyone. I was a security guard for twenty years. I had never lived on my own my whole life. That changed when my dad died twelve years after my mom.

My mom’s brother had come to live with us. I sold my dad’s house. Me and my uncle moved into a trailer park. We lived there for several years.

My uncle had cancer. After the doctors found his cancer I had a stroke. I lost my job and got behind on my bills. I didn’t go back to work until after my uncle died.

I was homeless for almost three years. I’m still recovering six years later

It was too little too late. I ended up homeless in Minneapolis Minnesota. I started talking to a woman online. Two years after we started talking she flew to Minneapolis to see me.

I ended up two years after that first meeting flying to South Carolina where she lived. We got married on September 10, 2017. We have been together since then.

I didn’t quit because I’m stubborn, and I wanted to see how things would turn out

People have asked me, “ Why didn’t you quit? What kept you going?” The only answer I can think of is I’m stubborn. I’m not saying I felt despair in Minneapolis because I did.

There was more than one occasion when I crossed the light rail tracks on the way to the library. The arms would come down and I would ignore them.

I met her on Facebook, and we have been together ever since

I didn’t care that much if I lived or died. The only thing sustaining me was the love and concern of a woman in South Carolina. I never want to be at that point ever again.

There have been many points in my life where I could have laid down and quit. I could have lived down to the expectations of some doctors and a few teachers.

I keep placing one foot in front of the other. Life is too interesting to give up

I don’t know how to quit. I keep going. I have failed a lot, but I have learned a lot as well. I have learned enough to advise anyone who wants to hear it.

There will be people who will try to program you. I’m here to tell you that you’re not as slow, dumb, or as big a loser as they tell you you are.

You’re none of those things. Don’t buy into the loser crap they feed you. Believe in yourself. Understand that failure isn’t a death sentence.

Never give up, keep going if for no other reason than to prove them wrong

Never give up. Keep striving and keep picking yourself up. There will be times when you will be your only cheerleader. Don’t do like I did and fall into despair.

You might not see it now, but someone cares, someone is in your future who needs you as much as you need them. Keep that person close to your heart.

Don’t step in front of the train, tomorrow will be a better day

Don’t do something foolish and deprive yourself of that person’s love. I have someone in my life who cares about me. If I had let the light rail hit me I would have missed a lifetime of love.

Things turn to shit, it happens all the time. You have to keep going. The hard times seldom last. You need to find the support you need, either inside yourself or outside.

Keep going through the fire until you get through the other side.

Final Thought:

Life has ups and downs. When you hit a low get through it the best you can. You will get through it. Shrug off the labels people pinned on you. Write your own story.

For too long I let family, caseworkers, and teachers write my script. Not anymore. Take control of your thoughts and your life while you’re young. Don’t wait until you’re in your sixties like I did. Do it now.