Advice for Those Times When We Want to Give Up

Sometimes it can seem as if we’re writing in a vacuum

Readers. Writers want and need readers. We want our ideas and voices to be heard and not ignored, yet our work is often overlooked or rejected. After a while, our motivation and self-confidence erode, and a foreboding sense of having failed descends like a cold, foggy shroud. The temptation to give up can be overpowering.

Even successful writers can find themselves in this dark place. I’ve been a professional writer and editor for most of my career, but after a string of rejections or lack of responses to my work, I can find myself slipping into that empty place where I question myself. A few times, I have given up, but I’ve always come back. When you’re a writer, you have to write. It’s a compulsion.

Here are 3 pieces of advice that have helped lift me up when I’ve been down. I hope they help you, too.

Why do we do this work?

“Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

The one thing that keeps me coming back and keeps me pounding away on the keyboard is my reason for doing it — my why. For me, writing and editing mean freedom — one of my top 5 values. Freedom from a stress-filled, deadly boring, life-devouring corporate role. Freedom to pick and choose clients and projects. That always has brought me back to the keyboard.

Discovering our reasons — our why — can make the continued effort worthwhile. Without a why that turns us on and keeps that flaming desire alive, all we’re doing is a job.

So, why do you write? What is the reason that keeps you coming back? If it’s not something you desire with all your being, it’s easy to slip into that sinkhole of discouragement. If it’s not something you desire with all your being, maybe you need to take some time to discover your bone-deep, heart-felt reason for doing this work.

Why are we letting others determine our worth?

“I went for years not finishing anything. Because, of course, when you finish something you can be judged.” — Erica Jong

It’s easy to fall into this when we hit a dry spell, but when we examine it closely, we see that we’re letting others’ opinions of our work undermine our self-worth and erode our confidence in the quality of our writing.

This is the time when we need to put on our objectivity glasses and look at what we’ve been creating and use these dead times for exploration and experimentation. Are we regurgitating stuff we’ve covered before? Are we letting the details slide? Maybe we aren’t taking enough time editing, or our proofreading has become sloppy. Maybe our writing or our ideas have become stale. Are we relying on the trite rather than approaching with a new perspective?

• Try taking one of your favorite topics and write an article as a devil’s advocate.
• Try new formats like shorter pieces, fiction, even poetry.
• Combine elements from different pieces into a new whole piece.
• Take one point from a previous piece and expand it into its own piece.
• Use topics and ideas you’ve covered before and spin them by taking opposing points of view or challenging your original thesis. I often write on the benefits of a growth mindset and productivity, so I’ve written articles on the downsides of these usually positive attributes.

Have we done enough?

“It doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down. All that matters is you get up one more time than you were knocked down.” — Roy T. Bennett

Anyone who has succeeded as a professional writer — or another profession — has taken missteps, been shot down, or been under-appreciated. This can shake our self-esteem and self-belief, but it doesn’t have to destroy it. However, sometimes we just can’t bounce back. The worst rejection I have ever received was early in my career when I was just starting to be published. I received a rejection letter that was 3-page criticism of a short, 900-word article. Each scorching sentence was like a physical blow. I crumpled it and threw it across the room. This time, I stopped writing for months, convinced that I was fooling myself into thinking I could make a career of this.

When that driving itch to write surfaced again, and I refocused on my why, I search for the crumpled letter, which my cat had used as a ball. I uncrumpled it and read it as objectively as I could. While much of it reflected the editor’s personal desires for how things should be written for them, many of the criticisms were valid. I gathered my courage, queried the magazine again, and got a go-ahead. The final article sold with no changes.

If you get knocked down, give yourself time to recuperate, but never give up. No one becomes as good as is possible; everyone can do better, be better, learn more, become more. All you need is to improve just 1%, and then another 1%, and before long you will have made a 100% improvement.

Why don’t we just start?

“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” — Stephen King,

It takes courage to face obstacles whether in life or work, and each time we get to our feet and take a step, we shift our mindset and outlook and quickly discover what we need to take the next step, and the next, and the next…

Thanks for reading, Patricia

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