Admitting Past Failures Correlates with Success in the New Year

Look at where you’ve been to see where you’re going

We’ve all failed. Some fails were epic, while others were simply stumbles in the road. I work full time as an autism self-advocate; writing, speaking to groups as large as 4,000, as well as podcasting and live streaming.

I’ve stumbled along the way and some of my failures were hardly noticed by anyone, whereas some of them got me messages from friends and colleagues asking, “What were you thinking?”

When your job is to put others first and to be the voice of those who can’t, or wont, advocate for themselves, it can be hard. I’ve tried many things in the past, from trying to start social groups, to attempting to put together classes to help teens on the spectrum transition from mom and dad’s place to life on their own in the real world.

People on the spectrum have many different traits, though many overlap. As Dr. Stephen Mark Shore, an autistic professor of autism, famously said, “If you’ve met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism.”

That means that even though we can be similar, no two autistic people are exactly alike in what they deal with on a daily basis.

In my case, that means I strive for perfection. I know that can't be achieved, but it doesn’t stop me from trying, and it doesn’t stop me from getting very down on myself when I don’t achieve what I set out to do.

In the small world of autism advocacy, I’m known. Not nearly as well as some, but people recognize both J.R. and Not Weird Just Autistic. They know I have a passion for what I do and that I’m willing to do what I can to help others.

Still, there have been some failures along the way. In 2021 my blog wasn’t getting the traffic and exposure I knew it should. I write well, and there are autism blogs that are far more successful with writing that is pretty poor. Obviously I’m doing something wrong with my marketing.

My social media numbers remained low and flat, with little growth. So, again, I must be doing something wrong. I’m not looking for huge numbers, but enough people that I can reach more with my message.

I’ve tried to start coaching families with kids on the spectrum who are struggling and who need advice on what to do after high school. Again, a lack of knowledge on marketing led to that epic failure.

So what do I do to get my shit together in 2022?

The first thing I did was move my blog from my website to Medium, where I get the opportunity to get more eyes on my writing. During the week of December 17–24 I got as many views on my post than I had the previous six month before Medium (592).

The second is that in addition to my written blog posts, I’m also creating the blog posts in audio and video formats, so people who like those mediums have access to the content.

The social media stuff, I still have no clue. I don’t have much of a budget to hire someone to give me advice, but what I need is someone who knows this niche to help me grow.

The next thing I’m doing in the new year is taking my certification in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and my certification as Life Coach and combining them to form Autistic Life Coaching, to help teens and adults who struggle with their autistic identity and with certain aspects of their life.

I still have no clue how to start this business, but I’m not giving up and hopefully I can find a coach that will understand my strengths and weakness and help me form something that will work for me and my clients.

I already have my first client, a referral from a colleague. I start working with him next week, so that’s a start.

The bottom line is that 2022 is going to be better than 2021 because I’ve already made some decisions that are starting to lead to success, and I’ve determined not to give up, no matter how bleak it looks.

While that may sound simple, when you realize that with my autism comes social anxiety, low self-esteem and depression, it’s not always easy to keep going.

But I’ve determined that I’m going to do it.

That’s what 2022 is looking like for me. What are you going to do to make 2022 the year you thrive? Leave your comments below, so we can all share in your success.

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© not weird, just autistic

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