Admit Your Vulnerability

When dishonesty is not the best policy. Stop the lies.

We’ve all heard those words. Stoic, brave, capable. Words that if they are describing a person make them sound almost bulletproof. From the minute we jettison into this life we hear those words all the time. “Now come on, you must be a brave girl and stop crying”, “you silly boy, of course, you are more than capable of doing that”. If you are not considered brave, stoic, or capable you might as well be an utter failure and just as well throw the towel in.

But what if we look at it like this. You can have a strength of character, you can be strong-willed and determined, and be vulnerable. Allow yourself the right to be vulnerable. As the journey of life muddles on there will be situations where you feel vulnerable but you present a picture to the world of being someone who can cope with anything and anyone. And those around you will believe just that and let you carry on being brave when inside you are falling apart.

Stop the bloody lying. You owe it to yourself to recognize and admit your vulnerabilities. Understanding your strengths AND vulnerabilities is a strength of character and admitting those vulnerabilities is an act of bravery and self-care.

Nobody seems to like to ask for help anymore. Many elderly people on their own can become ill, dehydrated, and malnourished because they were too proud to ask for help before they got into trouble. Children get burnt out by pushy parents demanding decent exam results believing that their lives will be ruined if they don’t pass their tests. For those young people, admitting they feel vulnerable and are struggling with their mental health is the last thing they want to do. To do such a thing would be an admittance of failure.

Then there is the rest of us in the middle, between the years of childhood and old age. We’re all coping with children, jobs, money worries, some of us are also looking after elderly parents or sick partners. For many, even keeping a roof over your head is a very real worry in these troubling times.

Inside our psyche, we are being brave and carrying on. Of course, we are not vulnerable and worry about things and tearing up inside. Certainly not on our watch. Conversations usually go along the lines of “how are you?”, you await the carefully crafted reply and here it comes “yes we are plodding along okay, everything is fine”. The asker nods along and asks no more despite knowing that their friend is in fact stressed to the hilt, has a very chronically ill child, and a husband awaiting test results for cancer.

We don’t want to hear about vulnerability. We don’t want to hear about other people’s vulnerabilities and we certainly don’t want to discuss our own. It’s too often seen as a sign of weakness.

What the mind doesn’t want to discuss the body often will. There is a reason that Cardiologists will often say that stress is a big killer. Vulnerabilities that are held in for too long may soon enough result in the body screaming “I’ve had enough even though you won’t damn well admit it” and a speedy blue lighted ride to the Emergency Room ensues, which may well be into the waiting and caring hands of the Doctor or Psychiatrist.

Sometimes it takes a shock from the body to accept your vulnerabilities and accept them as part of the person you are. But it's better to accept those vulnerabilities and reach out before your body makes the decision for you.

So stop the lies. Things aren’t okay. Talk them through and get some help to ease your mental load. Accept the help that is offered. Life can only be better for it as will your very soul.

Embrace your strengths and also embrace your vulnerability.

You owe it to yourself.