Admit It, Nothing Makes Sense

The truth of things is often so painful we choose ignorance.

This world hurts. 2020 and the start of 2021 have made my point far better than I possibly can. Despite all our best efforts, despite trying to be decent people, despite doing nothing wrong, hundreds of thousands are dead, millions are jobless, the world burns, and our institutions face insidious corruption.

In response, conspiracy theories abound. In response, we blame. In response, numbing agents are crafted out of anything and everything. All this to avoid facing a bitter conclusion: none of this is fair, nor does it make sense, nor are we in control of it.

But is blindly shielding our eyes the answer?

I argue it is not. I argue we lose an immensity of insight by seeking comfort in false reason. And while this is not the soul-nourishing reality we might crave in times of crisis, it might be the only thing that can sustainably allow a non-contingent peace of spirit.

Absurdity abounds

The French writer and Philosopher Albert Camus is famous in part because of his astute diagnosis of the human condition. The world lacks a deep, metaphysical reason, and human beings are rational animals. There is a profound disconnect. This disconnect is what he calls “the absurd”.

Our reason is certainly useful, and it should be placed at the throne of our faculties. But it has limits nonetheless. We are unable to grasp the kind of unifying meaning for which our souls cry out.

This is not a pit stop on the road to deeper realization. It is the fundamental truth of the human condition.

Many run from it. When faced with the uncomfortable realization of our desires and our limited ability to fulfill them, many blindly take leaps of faith. These are not all illegitimate, but they do not escape the truth of reasons limits.

Even if one posits a god or a higher purpose in life, it must be admitted that turning to it is beyond reason. This world is still left a confusing desert. Our thirst remains unquenched.

If we are bound to go unfulfilled in this sense, why should we not hide from it?

The peace of hard truths

It appears there are two types of peace.

The first is the peace of having our desires met. This is a contingent peace, as it relies on the world to provide us with something. It is beyond our control.

This is the kind of peace we get from such things as a leap of faith. We admit we cannot know, but insist that something exists that satisfies our spiritual cravings. Such peace is tenuous, and while one may never disprove it outright, one is also never quite sure. An inner battle rages on, the likes of which threaten to destroy the inner landscape of the believer.

There is a second peace, though: the peace of acceptance.

Instead of constantly turning their eyes from what is before them, that person who accepts stares deep into the unfulfilling world they inhabit. They breathe deeply as they face the uncertainty. They find peace in the fact that none of this makes sense, that they will always wish it did, and that they can calm the frantic hunt within their hearts.

This takes an immense amount of spiritual strength on the front end. Many go to their graves having never looked reality in the face.

That being, it is less demanding in the long run, especially in times of crisis.

Sustaining the wound

Those who seek solace in an unknowable “greater plan” suffer less at any given moment but far more in total. The truth of life’s unwillingness to make sense is unchanging. Refusing to face it ensures the realization remains on the horizon. It forever threatens to shatter everything.

2020 exemplifies this threat wonderfully.

The pandemic hit, causing an immense amount of anxiety, change, and suffering. Many people responded with something like “everything happens for a reason”. Perhaps this might have worked had it stopped there.

But it didn’t.

The pandemic was followed by horrendous wildfires, unparalleled economic hardship, and a literal attempt at a fascist coup. Such an onslaught erodes the flimsiness of hope.

With each successive crisis, the hoper must channel more effort into their beliefs. Reason will never grant a foothold. They are always fighting up a muddy slope.

This fight is exactly what sustains the pain. By searching for peace in an unverifiable outside source, the battle is prolonged. In a way, those who hope for life to make sense simultaneously admit that, should it not, they would be broken.

And the battle is unwinnable.

Surrender to the absurd

By contrast, the person who accepts the absurd can find lasting peace. They face the harsh truth upfront. In doing so, they are free of the anxiety of searching.

Again, consider the pandemic. The person who accepts the absurd is frightened by the pandemic just as is the person who hopes. But the former can simply acknowledge the fear. They don’t add layers of unsound reason, the likes of which the mind must constantly sustain. They accept this hardship without adding the pain of needing it explained.

This allows them greater peace in two ways.

For one, their mind is free. It can wander without fear of bumping into a shattering realization. The absurdist is fully lucid and may move freely through their inner world. No illusions need be sustained.

Secondly, they can more accurately maneuver in the world. During a crisis, the individual who accepts the meaninglessness of things addresses reality head-on. There is no bigger picture, no false safety. If there is a pandemic, they wear a mask.

The absurdist addresses the issue, does what they can, and then moves on. The hoper attempts to escape the situation, and by doing so, opens themselves up to missing vital information, all while robbing themselves of the inner peace of acceptance.

Conclusion

While it may be tempting in times of crisis to turn our eyes towards something greater, it is ultimately a false security. The disconnect between our desire for a reasonable world and the world’s refusal is uncomfortable. Regardless, it is the more peaceful and lucid option.

Often times we must do unpleasant things for greater peace. Eating a salad is harder than eating cake. Going to bed early is harder than staying up and watching tv. Those who invest in the hardship upfront often reap greater rewards than those who do what feels comfortable.

Such a concept applies to our spiritual makeup as well. It may be deeply unpleasant to face the world in all it’s non-rationality, but once we do, we can enjoy a deep inner peace. We just have to be willing to stand on the edge of the abyss.