Adjust Your Hatred Using Self-Love

Go on, try it 🥰

‘’My mind has sentenced you to death when you were away and hugged you when you were in front of me.’’

— Bhavna Narula

We all have a list of people who are highly annoying. You feel your blood pressure shoot up every time you think of them. You want to subject them to cringe-worthy things. Do the unspeakable.

But the next day, when you meet them in person, you feel like showering all the love on them. And if not love, then certainly don’t plan to drown them in a bucket full of water.

So what is it about being face-to-face with a person that diminishes the hatred to being non-existent, almost?

My Work Environment

I work as a teacher with an IB school and since the school is private, the environment is quite competitive. Sometimes you feel the competition staring into your eye and sometimes you just feel its presence, like paranormal activity.

You can’t see the ghost, only feel its presence.

I don’t know if it’s good or not but the teachers who may even hate you for no reason, treat you with so much sweetness that you get mixed signals from them.

Their eyes say, ‘’I hate you bitch’’ but their tongue says, ‘’You’re the best’’

Now, which one should one believe?

In the few years that I have worked here, I too have picked up on the same habit. There are many teachers whom I hate. Some have earned it while others have done nothing at all.

Yet, the hatred for them surmounts every time I think of them.

There’s a particular teacher in our school who walks with her nose placed on the seventh heaven. For her, the rest of us don’t exist. She is the ULTIMATE winner and we are the ULTIMATE losers.

At least, that’s what her facial expression and body language tell us.

Just thinking about her elevates my heartbeats because she makes me so angry that I want to crib about her non-stop. But the next morning, when I see her in school, I still look at her with hopeful eyes that like other teachers, she will wish me Good Morning and that too with a smile.

But this is not a new phenomenon for me. It has been happening for years and I have always been amused at it.

Whatever the reason behind it, I take it as a positive sign.

I think of it as an opportunity my brain likes to give me each day to reduce hatred and enhance the chances of love. Not because I want to be a wonderful loving person, but because I realize the repercussions of hatred on my health.

Health is Wealth

The most clichéd and yet the most ignored phrase of the century is the one mentioned above. As you age, you realize the true importance of maintaining your health.

And after going through a series of counseling sessions, I have realized that no one in this world is worth for whom I should mess my entire system, my health, my well-being, and certainly not my peace of mind.

I would rather find reasons to love you instead of hating you.

Not because you deserve it, but because I do.

I deserve self-love and peace. And this is being the good-kind-of selfish. Try it.

It is beneficial for both the parties — the hater and the hatee.

You either learn to admire their good qualities or learn to ignore the qualities that annoy you. Your sweet behavior confuses them. They’re not able to judge whether you love them or not.

Because your tongue says, ‘’You were great’’ but your mind says, ‘’You sucked, bitch.’’

It’s kind of fun, don’t you think?

Bhavna Narula, 2021. All rights reserved. Thank you so much for reading. :)