ADHD, Waiting Mode, and How I Fight It

Summary

The author discusses their personal struggle with ADHD-related "Waiting Mode" and strategies for managing it, including engaging in tasks that are interesting, challenging, urgent, or novel.

Abstract

The article "ADHD, Waiting Mode, and How I Fight It" by an unnamed author delves into the author's experience with a common issue faced by neurodiverse individuals known as Waiting Mode. This state is characterized by anxiety, executive dysfunction, and time agnosia, which often lead to unproductive behaviors like playing Solitaire or scrolling through social media while waiting for an important event, such as a phone meeting. The author, who has a phone meeting at noon, describes their struggle at 10:31 AM with the inability to focus on work or other tasks due to the anticipation of the call. They reference Maaya Hitomi's strategies for combating Waiting Mode, which include writing down concerns and engaging in tasks that are engaging and rewarding to reduce anxiety and make productive use of time. The author exemplifies this by writing the article itself, which is interesting, challenging, and novel for them, despite it not being a high-priority task. The article also touches on the author's journey of accepting their limitations and not tying their self-worth to productivity, emphasizing the importance of recognizing oneself as a worthy being regardless of doing.

Opinions

The author believes that Waiting Mode is a significant challenge for neurodiverse individuals, particularly those with ADHD.
They suggest that engaging in tasks with a low wall of awful and a high level of dopamine can help mitigate the effects of Waiting Mode.
The author values the importance of accepting personal limitations and not defining self-worth solely by achievements or productivity.
They find Maaya Hitomi's advice on leaving Waiting Mode to be helpful, which includes writing down concerns and focusing on tasks that are interesting, challenging, urgent, or novel.
The author implies that society's emphasis on constant productivity can be harmful, especially for individuals with ADHD, and advocates for a more balanced view of self-worth.

Hint: I wrote this article in Waiting Mode

I have a phone meeting at noon today. It’s currently 10:31, and now there is nothing left to do but wait for that call.

Did I finish all my work? …no.

Do I have other things I could be doing even if I can’t focus on work? …definitely.

Am I going to be capable of doing them? …that depends.

See, Waiting Mode is a common phenomenon among neurodiverse people, where anxiety, executive dysfunction, and time agnosia combine into this wreck of circumstances that see people simply twiddling their thumbs, thinking about how they can’t miss this appointment.

This is true even when I’m simply waiting on someone to call me. They would interrupt whatever I was doing no matter what. But I still feel this inescapable need to stop. To wait for it.

For me, I think it’s a fear of falling into hyperfocus and losing track of all time, therefore deciding I need to do nothing but watch the clock, play Solitaire, or scroll social media. Things I — erroneously — believe I don’t hyperfocus on.

But Maaya Hitomi has some solutions for leaving Waiting Mode that help me when I start to feel this way. They note that we can lessen anxiety about the appointment itself by writing down whatever it is we’re ruminating on: what we need to pack, say, if we’re waiting to travel, or the scripts or talking points we want to remember if we’re waiting for an appointment.

Then we can, hopefully, move on to a task that meets two requirements: a low wall of awful, and a high level of dopamine. That is, find tasks that are

interesting, challenging, urgent, or novel. Tasks that involve any combination of these four elements are going to be easiest to start, but are often not the highest priority tasks on our to-do lists. That’s okay. After all, getting something accomplished during the time before an appointment is always better than just waiting.

Which is what brought me to Medium today. Writing an article about Waiting Mode was:

interesting, because I got to research the thing I’m stuck doing anyway.

challenging, because I had to put together coherent thoughts about what Waiting Mode is and how it affects me in particular.

novel, because usually I write about fiction writing techniques, or edit for novelists, during my workday.

I have a list of Medium articles to write this week. This isn’t one of them, which means it wasn’t a super high priority. But it was fun, and honestly probably a better use of my time than playing Solitaire.

One of the things I’ve been working hard on this year is accepting my limitations and trying not to make my goals static things that define my worth. I’m going to lose part of my day to an appointment. I’m also going to lose part of my day to Waiting Mode. Then I’m going to lose much of my afternoon to having used my Spoons at the appointment. Understanding this about myself — and accepting it — has at least made a difference in my self-talk and my evaluation of my self-worth.

And as I’m trying to remember I’m a worthy being, not a worthy doing, is there anything better than that?