12 Tips For Conquering Overwhelm

Attention ADHDers and Adpotees: This is for YOU!

If you’ve got ADHD, you’re probably often overwhelmed. If you’re an adoptee, you may have ADHD which means you get overwhelmed too.

I understand. You’ve got too much to do. I do too. It’s overwhelming. Easier to eat some chocolate and read a novel. Maybe life won’t seem so overwhelming tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes. Oops, chocolate and novel reading did not calm your overwhelm. You have ADHD. If you’re adopted, it’s quite likely that you’ll have ADHD. And it’s common for adopted folks to feel overwhelmed.

Sadly, for most of us, ADHD and overwhelm are linked. Why? Because we have busy brains. Everything catches our attention. We want to do it all. We have a hard time staying focused . . . unless we’re hyperfocusing and forget to each lunch. (The experts says “hyperfocus” is a bad trait of ADHDers. I love it.) I’m writing two books at the same time while coaching adopted women and . . . and well, I won’t bore you with the whole list.

So here are some suggestions. Some will work for you. Some won’t. Highlight this. Let me repeat: Some will work for you. Some won’t. There is nothing more annoying than an “expert” who declares her system or his method to be “the best.” That it will transform your life because it transformed her life. Changed his life. That’s baloney. And often nothing more than high-powered marketing.

How to Make To Do Lists

1. Find what works for you! I like my lists numbered. I’m a linear type person. You may like the steps of a project drawn in multiple colors on a mind map. I’ve never understood mind maps. But many people swear by them. Perhaps you prefer writing tasks or parts of projects on sticky notes that you can move around. Again, for me, that’s kinda crazy making. Don’t take my word for it. Try several different “systems,” find the one that works for you AND stick to it.
2. Keep you lists segmented. Huh? What does that mean. I have several lists — those who know me well, might say I have too many lists. But here’s an example: Grocery List Project Lists Errand List Pay bills List
3. Keep your lists relatively short. You will never complete a list that’s two pages long. That’s not a list. It’s a brain dump. Save brain dumps for your journal.
4. Date your lists. For example, Today, This week, This month. Put the tasks for this week and this month in your calendar. Note: The word “calendar” is singular. Do not put your to-do lists in several calendars unless you want even more overwhelm and confusion.

How to Focus

1. Drink water. Your brain and water like water a lot. Avoid junk food and sugar unless you’d rather nap than work. I drink a lot of black coffee. It helps. Some say it’s not a good thing. Others don’t like coffee. (I used to smoke cigarettes. That helped for focusing too but not in the best interest of one’s health so I don’t recommend it.)
2. Learn how to do Cross Crawl and Hook-ups. (If you’ve got kids, teach these wonderful and simple exercises to them.) Cross Crawl helps to integrate your left brain (the get organized part) with your right brain (the let’s be creative part.) You’ll find lots of YouTube videos on how to do Cross Crawl. Hook-ups helps you calm down. Look for Brain Gym Hook ups or Cook’s Hook ups on YouTube to learn how. (If you look for hook-ups without the preface “Brain Gym” or “Cook’s,” you’ll find the other kind of hook-ups: pleasurable but can be a distraction from work.)
3. Learn to meditate. “Do what?” you ask. Yes, people with ADHD can learn to meditate. Start with just one minute. Find a guided meditation on the internet if silence doesn’t work for you. If I can meditate, you can too!
4. Find out if you work in a more focused way with music or you need silence. Many ADHDers, kids and adults, work best with soft instrumental music. It can block out distractions that get in the way. Vocal music, for obvious reasons, isn’t such a good choice. And music that reminds you of life events like weddings, funerals, you and your partner’s “song” aren’t good choices either. Look for “music for studying” on YouTube.

How to Write

1. Decide whether to write by hand or type on a computer keyboard. You may prefer making an outline first. You may like jotting down random ideas and organizing later. It doesn’t matter. Choose which works best for you. And unless you’re getting a book ready for publication, avoid spending too much time editing. (That’s a note to myself!) Just know that if you’re taking notes or writing something you want to remember, your brain prefers handwriting to keyboarding.
2. Try the Pomodoro Method. You set your timer for 25 minutes. Take a 5 minute break. After 4 Pomodoros, take a 25–30 minute break. Or set your own Pomodoro timing. Many time management experts promote the Pomodoro Method. It’s worth a try. Thousands have found it helpful.
3. Some ADHDers, I’m one of them, prefer hyperfocus. Instead of 2 hours writing in the morning, 30 minutes working on a website, 10 minute brisk walk, 60 minutes posting to social media, one works all day long at one task. That’s hyperfocus. I recommend it. Most experts do not recommend it. (I’ve never figured out why — many ADHDers work best this way.)
4. Write what you love. If it’s a “how to ebook,” go for it. If it’s posting on your blog, more power to you. No reason not to write your memoir if you’ve wanted to do it forever but afraid your great-aunt Celia whose been dead for 20 years might not approve. Give yourself permission to write. Avoid writing what you don’t want to write. If you’re convinced your business will fail, if you don’t write the ebook, get a ghost writer. (Or realize your business won’t fail if you don’t write the ebook.)

Stop blaming overwhelm on your ADHD. One way out of it, is doing what you love . . . after following the suggestions above for “How to Focus.” You’ll be surprised. They work!