ADHD Paralisis.

What is MY brain doing and Why?

What people expect even desire when starting an article with this title.

In this Article, We explore ADHD paralisis and how it affects us. What is our Brain trying to say is happening? So, wether you Suffer from this personally or someone you care about deals with symptoms of ADHD you will find useful insights as you continue to read.

Ha! Laughable.

The above paragraph is the tone I’d like to hold for my readers. Professional and confident. It is not an easy thing. It implies an organized person with a strategic plan in place for their article. A beginning, a body, and the conclusion with neat little bullet points and links to keep the reader engaged. A fully researched essay. Imagine, completing all above mentioned tasks and doing so in a reasonable amount of time.

I have to be realistic.

There are alot more steps to completing each goal for the lump sum of perfection.

The normal non-neurodivergents

There are many who are gifted in the required skill set that includes organization and prioritization. Executive functions of the mind.

Unfortunately for me the part of the brain used for executive functions is damaged.

This creates a whole slew of problems. With the way the world is structured now, the lack of executive functions causes major issues with very simple things.

Simple for most people.

It immobilizes me. Rendered useless as my clothes rot in the washer.

Having untreated ADHD is truly handicapping me in major areas of social expectations.

My “excuse” comes off not so well, and it feels wrong even though this is a legit mental health issue. It’s a learning disability causing issues with memory and focus.

I spend the majority of my time trying to remember what I was doing or looking for.

How this affects my career.

For example, my work. I struggle with tardiness. It is not cool to be late all the time where I work. Why am I late? Why is it a daily occurrence? Should I be able to be on time easily every day?

What is my process?

It starts the moment I open my eyes and try to manage my morning time. Failing, I mean, flailing miserably.

Tried “making time” for my ADHD

Many days I have to deal with ADHD paralysis and struggling to do basic shit. It is super stressful dealing with this. I get up 3 hours before my 5 a.m. shift, so I have plenty of time to “zone” out. I’m still late.

I would have made it if my keys were where they should have been.

Today, for instance, I couldn’t find my keys. I went to my car they were in the ignition, and the battery was dead. Late again. Can you im agine a 43-year-old person forgetting their keys in their automobile all weekend?¡!

ADHD Paralisis affects my life every day.

This inability to make myself do certain things is cramping my style. This phenomenon happens so often, several times a day.

There are five types of ADHD paralysis.

Mental paralysis: This occurs when someone feels overwhelmed or overloaded with information and struggles to process this information. It may make it difficult to speak, move, or convey what is going on in the mind at the moment.
Choice paralysis: This occurs when someone faces several choices and struggles to decide. It may involve overthinking and indecision due to too many options or the fear of making a wrong choice
Task paralysis: This occurs when someone feels overwhelmed and procrastinates on a long to-do list. It may involve hesitation or lack of motivation to start or complete a task, especially if it is tedious or complex.
Emotional paralysis: This occurs when someone feels overwhelmed by intense or conflicting emotions and cannot cope with them. It may involve shutting down, withdrawing, or avoiding emotional situations.
Social paralysis: This occurs when someone feels overwhelmed by social situations and can not interact with others. It may involve anxiety, shyness, or isolation

To be transparent, I must mention that some sources claim only 3 types of ADHD paralysis. Since I identified with all 5 from other sources, it seemed right to include five here. The link in this paragraph is to a comprehensive article about ADHD and it only mentions 3 of the 5 types but it is a great read.

Can’t speak for anyone else.

I cannot speak for others, but for me, this part of ADHD has been most difficult because it affects many aspects of my life. For example, getting ready for work in the morning. I must leave, and I am stuck. I cannot get up to go to save my life. Essentially, that’s the case, too. Without a decent job, how will I afford to live? Logically, I must leave five minutes ago. The anxiety starts. I start sweating. Why can’t I get up and go?

An analogy to help neuronorms understand what I am dealing with.

I heard an analogy the other day that best describes this situation to those who do not suffer from it. Go to your stove and turn on a burner. It is red hot. Now, put your hand on that burner. Go ahead and try to do it. Your body and mind will not let you because of self-preservation. It is that feeling that I can’t touch that burner, no matter how much I want to.

Now you know.

Now you know what I’m facing. My body is giving me an unnecessary distress signal. Brain is distressed and basically checks out.

How do I deal with ADHD paralysis?

My “ways” aren’t working per se. My ADHD is untreated. I can’t seem to manage it on my own. In my opinion, if you’re left immobile from your brain’s lack of executive functions, seeking a trained professional may be the best thing to do.

Why I haven’t taken my own advice?

Why haven’t I sought the much-needed therapy that everyone says was life-changing for them? If I tell you, will you believe me? I forget, and when I remember that I need to do this I lose focus looking for the right place to do my online ADHD therapy. This, of course isn’t the only reason. This is one of the reasons. I share this for a bit of a laugh, but it is not funny, really at all.

So many triggered. Sorry for that.

It is crazy to think my ADHD keeps me from getting treated for ADHD.

It may seem as if there hasn’t been success in my chosen field of expertise. Luckily my awkward charm and wit have allowed me some special experiences that have brought me to this place made sure there were a select few that loved me at the right moment that have allowed me to show them I love what I do for work.

Not just luck.

But really my career is skill to make up for my imperfections. No longer do I hide it either. My ADHD is not something I keep secret or hide mainly because it is impossible to do those things.

Always I’ve been different.

My “difference,” even very young, was painfully obvious. The old “razzle dazzle” awkward charm. Yup. If I had money, many would say that girl was eccentric. Most just say I’m weird or crazy. I like it being referenced as quirky. It has this cute appeal to it.

Being this cute and quirky creature in the scary world, other unique folks gravitated toward the unrelenting awkwardness.

Thankfully so.

The random love of strangers, as well as friends and family, have carried me through, but there have been super radically painful experiences because of being Neurodivergent that were unnecessary. Those times I felt the loneliest.

What’s the point?

The point of vaguely reminiscing is to explain that I finally understood what I was doing in the moment was telling the story of my future, good or bad?

It isn’t that I wasn’t aware of the concept that today determines tomorrow’s bounty and directly my choices, big and small, made a huge difference on what happened after said moment. I never put thought into it.

It is hard to say if my lack of getting basic life knowledge until turning 40 is due to ADHD or the neglect and abuse I faced growing up. Either way not taking into consideration what I wanted my future to look like has cost me a great deal.

My friends tell me not to worry about it. However, the 300 thoughts that are being shouted within my mind, along with a weird bell ding every 10 to 20 seconds and a horn section, can just drop things in my conscious thought. And then comes hyper focus. (That’s my next ADHD article)

Conclusion

Let me conclude with this readers. The article took some twists and turns and surely did not end as we thought it should. I’m OK with that. Hoping you are too.

It comes with the territory the divergent mind is all over the place but unfortunately I can’t make myself get up and do my laundry much less organize my thoughts in an easy to follow article that solves all your problems.

I do however want to share with everyone these challenges I face because lord knows I know many women are out here living and suffering with ADHD paralisis and all the other fun stuff anyone afflicted with this suffers. Those women may feel left behind by society. Many can’t hold jobs. Many have no idea that it is ADHD that they are dealing with because diagnoses in females has been largely over looked over the last few decades.

Thank you for reading my article. If you’d like to see other works done by me, check these out.

My job is kind of cool.

Living in the devil’s outhouse.

Life on Pluto?

And because I like to read and surely my readers do to I like to share what I’ve read and found helpful or entertaining. This article was actually packed full of useful tidbits.

Through the smoke.

This amazing medium writer and role model for girls and just see for yourself.

Why I Quit MY Job As Google Cheif Decision Scientist.

I’m grateful for all the support. Please comment or share. Also can someone help me make the ending articles I share show right. Thank you once again.