DISABILITY
ADHD Ask: Why Is Someone Suddenly Removing Their ‘ADHD Nests’ a Bad Thing?
Warning signs that you should check on your friend
Recently I posted an article, ADHD Ask: Why Do You Make ‘Nests’ Around the House With Your Stuff? and it got a lot of interesting responses and started a lot of good conversations with ADHD people that I know as well. So, I wanted to do a follow up to that one, looking at why someone suddenly removing their ADHD nest may be a bad thing.
I have had several people comment that they’ve encountered the same situation as me and the same experiences of nesting in an environment that they’re comfortable with. And then once you are no longer comfortable in that environment, you break down those nests.
So for instance, in a workplace, you’re in an environment where you have a desk at work and you’re nesting at that desk. Once you start breaking it down, you might realize that you don’t want to work there any longer.
It might not be a conscious thing, but the act of removing your personal belongings is a massive signifier that you don’t want to be there any longer. You are consciously or unconsciously removing everything that is personal to you from that environment. You are getting ready to remove yourself from that environment.
One of my friends described it as possessiveness, not wanting to leave stuff that belongs to them. In some locations, it gets to a point where it doesn’t feel like it’s your environment anymore.
You are comfortable nesting somewhere at work or in the house and that changes if that becomes a negative space. You do not want your personal belongings there; you do not want your favourite pen, you do not want that cute posted notepad in that space. They do not deserve the things that make you, you.
If someone with ADHD has been nesting and then they suddenly start removing their nests, maybe just check in on what’s changed because something has changed, whether they know it or not.
It could just be that they have a new system that they’re trying. Sometimes I go through this cycle where I will break down all of my nests and I will implement that perfect minimalistic, display home, cleanliness level, and honestly that lasts a few days, maybe.
Until I need to actually use something and then I need to unpack all of my things again, realize that I need everything in front of me and then I will renest in that same area.
So, if you’re living with someone and they start breaking down their nests, talk to them, they might not know that they’re doing it, but just check in on them and just make sure they are okay, because they may be unconsciously feeling that they are not comfortable in that environment anymore. And that could mean that they do not want to be in that environment anymore.
© Kristy Westaway 2021
