Acronyms in Adultery
Explaining the short hand in cheating
Here’s a glossary of cheating for adulterers. Acronyms in adultery. I am so twisted that I created my own take on them..
AP — Affair Partner. Or lover, as I like to think of it, a more romantic and idealized view of a transactional arrangement.
pAP — Potential Affair Partner. Longing and ghosting personified in one very elusive person.
LDAP — Long Distance Affair Partner. Make it extra difficult with distance thrown in for good measure.
LTAP — Long Term Affair Partner. Can you say unicorn?
EAP — Emotional Affair Partner. All the feelings without the orgasms in person.
AM — Ashley Madison. The original. The source. Oft maligned but with no successor.
CL — Craigs List. In the days of yore (pre my cheating days) was a source of delight for adulterers. The government took care of that.
OKC — OkCupid. Another site for looking.
POF — Plenty of Fish. More looking.
AFF — Adult Friend Finder. More sordid “looking” than friendly, trust me on this.
DADT — Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. My modus operandi in life.
DB — Dead Bedroom. No sex at home. See AP.
DB — Dad Bod. Not to be confused with the term above but usually linked, ahem. Derogatory usually. Pasty white and out of shape.
MB — Mom Bod. “Working on it” is their tag line. Have found that many guys dig MB’s. See DB (both😜).
FWB — Friends With Benefits. Usually the friends part is nonexistent.
HL — High Libido. Mine is cranked up to the highest setting…
LL — Low Libido. That would be my husband. *see adultery*
MM — Married Man. Unattainable and therefore desirable.
MW — Married Woman. See above.
NC — No Contact. When shit hits the fan.
NRE — New Relationship Energy. The fairy dust in the beginning of affairs. Wish I could bottle this crap.
NSA — No Strings Attached. Good luck with that.
ONS — One Night Stand. Usually one afternoon stand in adultery land.
ENM— Ethically Non Monogamous. Yeah, right…
GGG — Good Giving Game. See above.
OPSEC — Operational Security. AKA — how we cover up our shady shit.
SO — Significant Other. Our spouse who we lie to day after day, let’s not forget.
LS — Legally Separated. Ha! And, I’ve got a bridge…
MBA — Married But Available. Aren’t we all?
SD — Sugar Daddy. An older man who is delusional.
SB — Sugar Baby. A younger woman who is enterprising, shall we say.
BS — Betrayed Spouse. I thought it was bullshit but then I figured it out. It’s all bullshit.
WS — Wayward Spouse. This term makes it seem like they were off course and coming back. Not likely. Looking in the mirror, by the way.
DDay — Discovery Day. Not like Normandy and the killing of tens of thousands, but the discovery of your partners infidelity. One day in history that was slightly more relevant than cheating, don’t you think?
LCSOS — Lying, Cheating, Sack of Shit. This was my favorite. Me, in a nutshell.
LTA — Long Term Affair. Would it be better if it was short term? Really, which was worse? At least long term implied you had half a heart left. You might even care, a little.
OW/OM — Other Woman and Other Man. They were people too, just like everyone else. Usually no different, just possibly more daring.
STBX — Soon To Be Ex. This was sometimes true and sometimes not. The ex-part was extra complicated.
TT — Trickle Truth. The slow leak of misinformation regarding the affair, contemptible in all formats. My line in the sand was drawn here. It disappeared quickly with the rising tide of lies, though.
The web of lies in affair land begins with the acronyms. Short hand for vice. I’m in the thick of it. Day after day, writing about adultery. This list is for all of us contemptible’s out there cheating.
Most of these terms applied to me.
I don’t have any excuses.
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