Accepting the Reality You are Given
How to change to expand your life’s story into magnificence
The reality we are given
Why do we accept the reality we are given? There are great minds that ponder this dilemma. They see possibility over probability: they are the seekers, the healers, and the few who believe a better world is possible. And then there are the rest of us. We accept the reality we are given- sticking closely to our personal narrative, and settling for the stories we tell ourselves.
What if there is more? Everyone is seeking more. Where does “more” exist? I am here to tell you that the “more” you seek is absolutely inside your mind, tricking you stay in your comfort zone.
Reality
First and foremost, we are not our stories. Challenge yourself to review your story, and you can watch how the narrative changes through time. Our lives are not static. But they are choices. We can choose abundance, calculated risk-taking, and imagine something better for ourselves. Or we can be bogged down by the daily grind. Either way, time will pass. Where do you want to be?
There was a time I allowed my need to excel to fall by the wayside. Bills, problems, relationships, health issues, and the past became my daily narrative. I wanted more, but I felt stuck.
The Baby Steps
And then it happened… the Department of Defense notified us of a breach of the contract pertaining to my husband’s new position in Germany. Since the Department of Defense eliminated my husband’s new position four months after contracts were signed, great fear entered into the periphery of my mind. Financial ruin awaited. The government had shipped everything we owned to the German base. We gave up our housing, he gave up a prestigious position, we had our airline tickets printed, and we endlessly prepared for our life ahead.
At that time, I had only one tool for coping: substance abuse. However, my story of reckless demoralizations under the use of alcohol and drugs sprung into my mind-s eye. This choice did not seem like the suitable for my family or me. So, I turned to the one area of my life that I avoided the most: writing.
But all hope is not lost. My therapist often tells me that “Fast feels better, but slow is smooth.” Life on life’s terms can be unbearable for those without patience. Hence, the reality you are given will remain just that reality until small actions replace old attitudes.
By choosing creativity while enduring this life stressor, I paved a new path. It was only a baby step. I started writing a blog that was followed by my Facebook friends. My truths bludgeoned the pages that I wrote. It was a risk. Normal people pretend they do not have any problems. But if I did not admit to the world who I was at that moment, I am positive the consequences would be grim.
More Changes
Money was tight. However, my story convinced me I had a hustle. I would make it no matter what. But the difference was how I would make it in my new conquest. All of sudden, I had far too many tasks on my hands and managing how we would at became a major hurdle.
But I did what I did. I became a ghostwriter in unscrupulous ways and made some income. Less is more became incorporated into our daily lives. I did not panic. I kept moving forward.
Then…in the kitchen one day, I opened my refrigerator to pour a glass of water. I noticed that there was a spill on one of the shelves and some aging food. The old me could not handle such small challenges and I would have left it there until the situation became dire. That was my story. That was the reality I accepted.
However, something small but miraculous occurred. I poured my water, grabbed a dish towel and threw away the food in under 30 seconds. I promise you that in that moment the light hit me through the window from a different direction. And for all the pain I felt, a sense of hope emerged. I recognized that my future self was going to be highly efficient.
Through the process of slowly changing under pressure, a new skill was born and I was going to hang onto it. I did not have to accept a messy kitchen. I did not have to let the food rot. And if I acknowledged that, what else could I change?
Victory
Years later, one baby step after another, my reality changed. I became a Writing Specialist at a local high school, I found Medium, I received accolades by strangers, and I now I am creating my own writing consultant business. Better yet. I already have clients and my website is not even up. Better yet, I am charging what I am worth!
The moral is simply, the reality we are given is the easy path but by slowly changing our actions our thinking will follow. Gradual change become catalysts to bigger changes. Suddenly, your story is not your story anymore.
And then…and then only, the world is once again your playground.