Self-Victimization & The Cure.

Breakthrough from victim mode of living and start living freely.

Self- Victimization is acting as if life only happens to you and not for you.

We all have played the role of victim in our lives.

I have played my part in being a victim. I always complained of how terrible life can be only to realize years later that I hold the power to perceive life as I please.

“It is our attitude towards life which determines life’s attitude towards us.” ~John N. Mitchell

This is my favourite quote and it took me years and tons of reading to encounter this quote that changed my perspective!

I never got bored, there are people in my life who texts me saying, “I am bored.” I ignore them. I feel like only boring people can get bored.

“Life is boring to boring people.” same way as “Life is interesting to interesting people.”

I should not have harshly judged! I was no better! Life never bored me because I found ways to dwell myself on the drink of victimization.

Now it feels like I was in a really strong relationship with my “victim-self”.

It is never easy to break through from old habits or negative patterns that our minds have embodied within.

What makes me happy is that it is not impossible to break the negative trait so there is always a chance for you to become the hero of your own story! I did it, so can you.

The Blame Game.

Maybe after our heartbreak, we like the sympathy by acting as if we are the victim of life’s circumstances and maybe that might be true for a moment but only if we knew by then that, actions have consequences.

Whether the action is yours or someone’s whose life is connected with yours, we might have to face the connecting consequences.

There might be no justification for the causes of the pain but there sure is justification for your perception towards it.

Maybe you didn’t get into the school that you dreamed of, maybe you lost the match by 2 points, maybe you’re still waiting to get that one big breakthrough from your hard-work.

There are just too many things that can happen and kick us down into the abyss of victimhood. I call it, “POOR ME” behaviour.

In my case, I acted this way when someone dear lied to me and made me look like a fool for trusting someone. I was naive, innocent not a fool, but I chose to focus on one bad thing and connected it with everything else that happened in my life.

I notice it, people in pain, find ways to see and feel more pain. Eyes of a victim! I have seen it many times, helped many and I helped myself too.

“Playing the victim card blinds you to your own flaws and so you can never improve. Self-pity is the easiest way to create unilateral misery.” — Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

Here are some valid points from people that I know who contribute to this trait of “poor me pattern”,

• “I had very pure intentions, I would never hurt or do anything wrong that could ruin our relationship, why me? And what about the promises? This is wrong, I need answers, I cannot move on without a valid explanation. I need a miracle and I won’t change until I get my answers.”
• “I knew it, I knew I won’t get into this place, my luck is bad since my birth, I never get good things in life, I have to suffer, that’s my bad luck, even my mom knows it! My life is full of suffering no matter what.”

These two points are a mere example of how victim personality behaves in every scenario. It is not about one bad part of life, but they make ONE problem their whole life and that’s when the problem starts.

I would like to repeat, “You make ONE problem your entire life and that’s when your problem starts.”

No one likes to see dark clouds every day.

“I tell people to monitor their self-pity. Self-pity is very unattractive.” ― Patty Duke

No one wants to be around someone who has no vision of seeing the good part of life but rather spends time talking about how miserable they are and their life is.

Gain Your Power Back

Self-Victimization is a bad disease, and if you notice it in your behaviour, try to get rid of it or it will drag you down in numerous ways.

It is easy to notice someone’s personality from their way of perceiving their world.

People who view their lives through the lens of victimhood are the ones I try to keep my distance from. They don’t want to be held accountable, they rather run than face & fight to create a better life.

We all have been there during our low moments but there are people who just decide to stay there and refuse to see the world with a better perspective or even try to bring positive change in their own world.

Some people refuse to help themselves. Even if it is for their own good. Try not to be like “some people”.

Rather than taking action for ourselves, we fall into a lazy path of irresponsibility where all things just happen to us and we can only awry over it. You always forget that…

“What happens to you is not who you are.”

You drag yourself down by thinking and making yourself feel as if you are doomed in this world, that even though there might be billions of human beings on earth, bad things somehow only happen to you. That is not the truth.

Things that happen have no solid ground on whether they can be considered good or bad.

That which is heaven for you can be hell for someone else.

What you need is to understand that things happen and maybe you might not have control over it but you do have control over how you react.

Work on yourself, help yourself in becoming a better version of you, embrace the change and make a choice to move onto a new life.

Take responsibility for your life that no matter what happens to you, you will always come out strong without letting anything drain you of your potential of recovery.

“Stop seeing the world with victim's eyes and you won’t feel like a victim”.

You need to learn to know yourself better so you can help yourself become better.

Instead of falling into an abyss of victim-hood, you can finally learn to not feel as if you are the victim but to work on helping yourself at best.

Looking and calling names at a bad situation or a problem won’t fix the problem, but finding ways to bring peace into your life, and to look for solutions that can serve you right will definitely help you go far.

It has helped me so far.

Actions have consequences, and you might have control over your action but you sure can’t control the outcome.

Rather than resenting your last mistake or last mistaken action, you should focus on now and your future.

Ask yourself how you could help yourself to get into a better situation instead of dread over the last disaster of your life.

If the disaster is ended, STOP reliving it and start to focus on your current situation and focus to improve your life.

You will always end up with a choice, which you have the privilege to make; you can choose to sit, blame everything and everyone and stay feeling miserable about yourself and your life OR you can choose to make yourself proud, work on your life, try to make it better and be contented.

“You’re not supposed to feel down over whatever happen to you. I mean, you’re supposed to use whatever happen to you as some type of upper, not a downer.”

~ Bob Marley.

You’re supposed to take whatever happened in a way that will make you wiser and stronger.

Say it OUT LOUD, “I choose how I Think and Feel. I choose to Feel Great!”

We all know that what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger!

Learn whatever you can out of the situation that broke you and instead of victimizing yourself, try to help yourself gain more in life.

Use the pain as a fuel to grow in life, to fulfill your dreams.

Achieving your goals will make it all worth it and being able to help yourself by keeping a positive attitude will change your lifestyle in a pragmatic way.

Remember, life just happens, it doesn’t happen for you or to you but trying to make the best out of it will surely help you in making it all work out in your favour.

Thank you for your time! Lots of love! Namaste!