avatarDMTakeshi

Summary

The author reflects on their personal journey, revealing a complex identity marked by motherhood, love, anxiety, self-acceptance, and resilience, inspired by Mary Mahoney's narrative of overcoming the influence of the Children of God cult.

Abstract

The website content is a personal essay where the author bares their soul, discussing the multifaceted nature of their identity. They are a proud mother of two, a passionate lover, and a person who experiences both extreme anxiety and love. The author acknowledges self-acceptance but also a desire for self-improvement, grappling with feelings of inadequacy and the weight of imperfections. At 34, they express a sense of aimlessness and the struggle with aging and past experiences. Despite this, the author identifies as incredibly strong, though they admit to having many lifelong struggles and a tendency to lack follow-through. They describe themselves as loyal, reliable, and timely, yet also slightly jaded. The essay concludes with the author's aspiration to be understood and to grow, inspired by Mary Mahoney's bravery in not allowing her past in the Children of God cult to define her.

Opinions

  • The author takes pride in their role as a mother and in the love they have for their family and tribe.
  • There is a candid admission of dealing with anxiety and the duality of loving oneself while still striving for more self-acceptance.
  • The author feels a sense of directionlessness and concern over aging, indicating a struggle with self-perception and life expectations.
  • Gratitude is expressed for personal growth and recovery from past hardships, despite not aligning with how they envisioned their life.
  • The author identifies themselves as strong and resilient, yet acknowledges personal shortcomings such as lack of follow-through.
  • They value loyalty and reliability but also recognize the impact of life's challenges on their heart and outlook.
  • The essay is a declaration of the author's desire to be understood beyond surface appearances and to continue evolving as a person.
  • The inspiration drawn from Mary Mahoney's article suggests the author's belief in the power of personal narrative to transcend defining experiences, such as Mahoney's time in the Children of God cult.

Abstruse

Presenting me fiercely

Photo by author

You may not know…

I am a proud mother Of two amazing human beings I’m also a passionate lover My tribe always bringing new teachings

You may not know But here goes…

I am often full of anxiety But also extreme love I like me, finally But not nearly enough

I am thirty-four And have no direction It’s becoming hard to ignore Weighted by my imperfections

I’m grateful for all I’ve underwent But damn it I am aging terribly Not how I saw my life being spent Ultimately recovering mentally

You may not know I’ll show you though…

I’m really fucking strong With no follow through Many struggles lifelong But never misconstrue

I am loyal and devoted Reliable and timely My heart has eroded Jaded, but only slightly

If I had to define me I’d like for you to understand I try too hard currently So one day I will be grand

You may not know Who I am really But I’d like to grow Presenting me fiercely

I was inspired to write this because of the very brave Mary Mahoney’s article titled About Me. In this post, she explains how being in the cult Children of God for 31 years doesn’t define her. You can read all about it below.

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About Me
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