About Me — Upen Singh
People & Progress | World Traveler | Community & Development | Life Extention | Animals | Entrepreneur | Selective Empath |
Self-introduction is a challenge for me.
By intention. Because it keeps changing.
As my direction (of moving forward in life) is clear, my introduction seems to be changing with my own changing perception of reality.
Having born and raised in Nepal, moving to the United States as a 19-year old, living there for fifteen years, and now living in Thailand (while constantly traveling the world), this old adage is indeed true for me:
The world is my home.
Making progress in people’s lives excites me. And with the addition of rich dark chocolate, pistachio gelato, and Norweigan cheese, what else can I say…
Born In the Field: A Lunging for Openness
I was born in a hut of a village located in remote western Nepal. My nanny did the delivery as my father held my mother. I suppose this would be called a ‘natural’ birth.
Perhaps this is why being in the “open” environment has always felt “natural” to me. Whether it is trekking in the mountains of Nepal, witnessing the sunset on the ocean in Thailand, or driving through the vast open valleys in New Zealand,
I tend to thrive in the open, free, and natural environment more than anything else.
While I am deeply interested in science, technology, health, inventions, I find myself valuing nature, spirituality, and flexibility more and more. So much like the yin and yang — we can have a little attraction towards the opposite of what we practice.
Today, I am extremely grateful for my life and my relationships. I admire those who question systems/institutions and live differently, trying to make this planet a “home” as they give free smiles and hugs to strangers.
A Hindu Eating Beef: Apostatizing Myself Early
I was 19 years old and it was my first international flight. I had received an academic scholarship at a US college, and I was leaving Nepal. I was longing for greatness (I still do)!
I had a layover in Singapore. Back then you had to get a boarding pass during the transit so you could be on your next flight to your destination. I didn’t know anything about boarding passes, so I ended up just showing up in the queue before the flight. I wasn’t allowed on the flight and was asked to wait for the next one available.
The wait was about 48 hours. In the meantime, I ended up eating a lot of hamburgers in the airport without knowing that was a lot of beef. Being raised as Hindu, I had never tasted beef.
They weren’t good. There were delicious!
(Keep in mind, I still hadn’t yet experienced dark chocolate, pistachio gelato, and Norwegian cheese).
I feel fortunate that I only learned burgers had beef after I ate my first one. While I knew Hindus aren’t supposed to eat beef, I felt a deep sense of freedom in breaking that norm.
I have learned that breaking away from certain norms are crucial for our growth. For this to happen,
one must question everything, especially the values and traditions that have been pre-programmed in us.
Since then, I have studied, practiced numerous philosophies, applying those that I find beneficial and discarding those that are useless or harmful.
As I grow older (and hopefully wiser), I have benefitted immensely from this vital habit of questioning deeply-rooted beliefs and choosing/eliminating with consciousness.
The Obstacle is the Way: Gaining ‘Experiential Wisdom’
Growing up in Nepal, I had been exposed to the caste-system (institutionalized discrimination based on people’s caste).
All over the world, many lives are not valued and wasted by the majority simply because they are women, considered “lower-castes”, or minorities.
I even had to lose a relationship with a loved one (my nanny) who was a motherly figure to me. The situation was such that we could not speak with each other regularly as I grew older, due to the institutional social discrimination towards her (in Nepal).
And at the time of her death, I couldn’t travel back due to the strict US immigration rules.
So, yes, I take such issues very personally.
Any form of discrimination haunts me. Being able to feel this and empathize with others has been my source of power and progress.
Post 9/11 was a challenging time. I was an undergrad (in the south-east region of the US). It was the first time I felt deep discrimination directed at me. Being the “victim” helped me generate empathy towards others, and understand the world differently.
Getting US citizenship was a major win indeed. It took me about 13 years to get it. Now I am grateful that I can travel quite freely and enjoy certain privileges. I was also able to help most of my family members emigrate to the US.
In the US, I also connected with some of the most wonderful people I’ve met who have inspired me in many ways.
My travels and meeting with people from different parts of the world have taught me that if discrimination exists everywhere, so does love.
Such love can only be found through experience. I might read, study, and learn a lot, but in the end, love is something that must be felt. And feeling comes through experience.
This is why I value “experiential wisdom” even if it means taking some risks and stepping into the unknown.
I have learned that rich experiences lead to a better understanding of reality, and the possibility for a better life. So there are times when I just have to step out of my comfort zones to experience and expand that richness.
It has been quite an interesting journey. As I approach 40 now, I am more excited than ever. I have a wonderful partner/wife and several cats (stopped counting them!) and a dog.
And it was because of my quest to gain experiential wisdom that I traveled to 25 countries…and discovered dark chocolate, Italian pistachio gelato, and Norwegian cheese.
I keep myself hungry for new experiences.
And I feel like life has just started!
Could Femininity be the Future? I Think So.
I have come into the understanding that we need more empathy and compassion in the world.
The most important characteristic I value now is the expression of “feminine” qualities. The world needs certain “feminine” values (mostly engendered by women) more than ever. The very quality of care, nurture, and growth is what will save us, and the world.
Yes, it’s true. I’ll say that as a man. Too much is at stake. The “feminine” character has to take the lead in communities, countries, and the world.
Having lived in mainly three countries — Nepal, Thailand, and the USA, and traveling to many others — I have experienced and witnessed many things to come to this conclusion.
Our deep-seated institutional problems exist mostly because more than half of the world population (i.e. women) are stifled from expressing their innate self.
Regardless of the wealth, power, or technological advancement of any person, community, or country, our progress depends on the freedom and expression of the feminine energy which is totally out of balance.
Perhaps it is this belief that I have that has motivated me to pursue writing more seriously. And perhaps, subconsciously, this is why I want to become a better writer — to somehow channel and express this message.
Becoming a Writer: the Craftsman & the Lover
While I have always had the passion to write, I am now learning the “craftsmanship” is just as important.
The idea that if you want to be great at something, it is important to think and act like a carpenter who is constantly trying to make the product better.
My writing career started at the age of 18 when I started working for “The Kathmandu Post,” the best-selling newspaper in Nepal at the time. I got a chance to work as a journalist in the field of politics, social affairs, and arts while traveling quite a bit inside the country.
For the most part, I suffered — writing wasn’t easy. But somewhere deep down, I always felt that I had to write.
Writing is not fun most of the time. I am learning to enjoy it more, however, as I gradually learn and improve my skills.
Writing is something I do from love. It is not necessary that I love writing all the time. It is a means of communication, that I can improve gradually.
I write because it fulfills my purpose.
Writing allows me to create my past by reframing traumas and reliving wonderful moments. It allows me to be present. And it allows me to create my future by making me the “coder” of my own future-program.
And to share some experiences through writing:
My partner and I recently had a “rich” experience living in an earth house. This was an experiment that went well, and now we have decided to build one for ourselves within a year.
Likewise, my major goal at the moment is to develop my village in far-west Nepal into an eco-tourism location. In the process of doing that, I learned that there are some basic social needs that need to be taken care of first.
With that in mind, my partner and I started a non-profit Metta Valley whose mission is to develop living standards in rural communities of far-western Nepal. The first project that we just launched is focused on women’s menstrual health.
For the past eight years, my partner and I have been working with the ethnic communities in East-Asia in the handicrafts industry, which also inspired us to start our online store.
The philosophy of “experiential wisdom” has inspired me to create and live “rich” experiences. Writing has given me the channel to express these experiences and learn those of others as well.
It is through writing I find myself as a unique piece in the mosaic of humanity, as I deeply cherish and value the unique colors of other writers.
It’s Never Complete…
So, going back to forming my first sentence for self-introduction: I would like to introduce myself as the person that I will be ten years from now.
Who knows what I will be then? But I can see the direction that I am taking. Especially as a writer.
As much as I hope my life and career to be linear and progressive, who knows what it will look like…I am always open to progressive changes.
I strive to become a better person — in my humanitarian work, in my relationships, as a writer…and in creating rich experiences.
So I wonder about the things I will discover and enjoy more than the dark chocolate, pistachio gelato, and Norwegian cheese.
*Special thanks to Quy Ma for inspiring me to write this article