About Me — Quy Ma
Retail/Digital Commerce Expert. Writer. Gamer. I love helping people in a digital economy.
Hi there!
I’m Quy! I also go by “Sesame” in the gaming community, having been a longtime online competitive gamer. My personal story is deeply rooted in the origins of my parents’ harrowing and resilient stories as Vietnamese War refugees and how I became the person I am today.
As a first-generation American Millennial, I’ve walked a middle path of understanding and embracing both my ancestral heritage and the opportunities presented to me in the United States. But it definitely took me a long time to understand and embrace both sides and my identity.
My parents are among the courageous survivors of the boat people exodus. They fled Vietnam after the fall of their homeland, South Vietnam, in the 1980s, their young hearts brimming with determination and fear.
They had no choice. They lost their homes and had to create a new one in a faraway land.
Their resilience and spirit have always served as my north star, constantly reminding me of the privileges I now enjoy and the responsibility I bear to make the most of them.
Vietnam War
The Vietnam War was a bitter and extended conflict, beginning with Vietnam’s quest for independence after World War II.
Denied support from the United States because of its close ties with France, whom wanted to retain control of her former colony, Vietnam turned to the Soviet Union and China for aid. This led to the country being divided into the Communist North and the capitalist South, which was supported by the United States.
A planned democratic election to reunite the country never materialized, and the divide led to a major civil war. The U.S. became deeply involved, at its peak deploying 550,000 troops and suffering over 58,000 casualties.
The war ended in 1973, with the United States pulling out its forces following an unsuccessful strategy called “Vietnamization.” This left South Vietnam vulnerable, and it wasn’t long before the North made their move to finish the war.
On April 30, 1975, Saigon, the capital of South Vietnam, fell to the Communists and was renamed Ho Chi Minh City.
For the next few years, life for former South Vietnamese citizens became challenging, with the country united under one regime. During this time, my parents (individually) made the difficult decision to escape, eventually leading them to the United States.
Escape
Life as a former South Vietnamese citizen was challenging, with rampant labor camps, re-education for those who opposed the North during the war, and widespread hunger and poverty among the people. The country was healing from the war and undergoing a significant societal transformation that affected everything from religious beliefs to market transactions and education.
War is hell on earth. And from war comes refugees. In the aftermath of the war, hundreds of thousands escaped by sea. An estimated 200,000 to 400,000 “boat people,” as they were called, died at sea, trying to escape. My parents were one of the lucky ones.
After getting an opportunity to grab a spot on a small fishing boat headed to Thailand, my 18-year-old dad took his chances and said goodbye to his family. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to see them again.
Under cover of darkness, he made it to the designated spot. He took off in a small fishing boat, his sister, her infant daughter, and 30 other Vietnamese refugees packed in like sardines in a can. They took off into the sea — the Gulf of Thailand.
For three full days, he and the other refugees packed on the tiny fishing boat with him — dehydrated and sunburned — battled Thai fisher pirates, stormy seas, and a sputtering engine. On the final day, the refugees reached the shore in southern Thailand.
After landing in Thailand, his feet firmly in the sand, my dad decided to consider April 4, the day they successfully made it, as his new birthday, symbolizing the birth of his new life after leaving the only home he had ever known.
Later, he made it to the United States, where he met my mother in California, who also had a harrowing escape story of her own from Vietnam.
Together with her little sister, a young child at the time, my teenage mom attempted to escape the country after the South fell to the Communists repeatedly. She was arrested four times but let go by the police when my grandpa returned a few days later to bail her out.
Although she eventually escaped, made it to the Phillippines, where she learned English, and made it to the United States safely, she was forever traumatized by her experience. Anxiety, fear, and nervousness crippled her decision-making throughout her years.
America
Fast forwarding…I was born in Oakland, California, in 1988 — an American citizen to two Vietnamese refugees with no home. America was their new home now. My birth solidified that stance.
We shared a one-bedroom apartment with another Vietnamese refugee family. I suspected my mother was suffering from postpartum depression after my birth.
On top of the daily stress of having enough money to pay for a roof over our heads and food to feed our mouths, my mom did what she could to raise me in the strange new land. My aunt, her home cramped by us, once yelled at my mom for using too much water on me during one bathing session.
California was expensive, so my parents threw what little money we had into a van ($500 at the time) and packed their bags. Pregnant with my little brother, my mom took my father’s direction, and we took off to Houston, Texas, to build our new lives.
Childhood
I do not remember much of my childhood in Texas.
We were poor. We were on food stamps (and, at times, on unemployment) until my proud dad decided that he would no longer be supported by anything government-related — a pain he nursed his entire life due to losing his homeland to the Communist North.
With no experience, he got a job as a welder and worked his way up the mechanical engineer ladder at his company.
My mom became a nail salon tech. Like many other Vietnamese women who ended up doing nails, cosmetology was a popular and easy skill to pick up. However, she was unhappy working for others and wanted to pursue her entrepreneurial dreams of opening her own shop. My dad was hesitant about it, a man always mindful of risks.
We also moved out of a shared apartment and into our first family home in West Houston.
As the firstborn son of Vietnamese parents, expectations were high for me to help look after the family. I was (still am, at times) a shy, introverted boy. I had huge social anxiety and probably inherited my parents’ war trauma.
“Don’t trust anyone,” my mom would say. “You can only count on yourself and your family.”
I also served as a cultural bridge between my family and the society we built our lives. I often had to explain fundamental ‘American’ customs to my parents, like the concept of a prom or why a limousine to go to prom was necessary.
Passion for Learning
I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit, even as a child.
Whether it was selling comic books at school for 50 cents each to kids at recess or urging (forcing) my little brothers to play Monopoly with me, I was always looking for opportunities to seize. This entrepreneurial instinct would later play a significant role in my career.
I loved learning. I was a voracious reader as a child. When I wasn’t reading books, I was playing video games, especially video games with enthralling stories. I didn’t have many games, but some of my favorite games back in the day were ed tech games, too (Does anyone remember the Eyewitness theme song?)
I loved learning in school, too. I was bullied relentlessly. Making friends was hard for me, and it took a lot to come out of my shell.
Fortunately, for better or for worse and typical of Asian parents, my parents focused my attention on two areas — taking care of my brothers and meeting their expectations of making good grades in school. Education, learning, and mastering concepts were emphasized aggressively. Oh, and being productive.
“You always have to keep busy,” my dad said. He always kept us busy. I often complained.
I was also very competitive. For a time, my friends and I played a first-person shooter game called Counter-Strike in the early 2000s. We played often enough and were skilled enough to be semi-professional as well. This was even before the days of Twitch and E-sports! We were among some of the first e-sports gamers in history!
I remember telling my dad back in 2001 that I wanted to be a professional e-sports gamer when I was older — one of the first to make money off video games in the world. He looked at me like I was crazy and said one word, “No.”
I write about how video games contributed to my eventual success in my career in this article. Thanks to gaming, I developed my leadership skills, honed my social skills, and made lifelong friends with gamers across the globe. I even later met my wife on World of Warcraft!
A few years later, I found my footing in high school. We have moved to a more affluent part of Houston, thanks to my mom’s store success.
Despite being an anxious worry-wart, my mom found the courage to push her dreams forward and open her store. The nail salon proved successful and became her shining beacon of entrepreneurship for years to come, having come so far from her days in Vietnam.
Growing Up
After high school, I went to both Texas A&M University and University of Texas. I ultimately graduated from Texas A&M with a BA in Political Science and a minor in History. I’ve always enjoyed social sciences — history, economics, geography, you name it — in part due to my family’s background and history.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with a Political Science degree. I guess I had half hoped to become a CIA agent or something. Later, I found out how terrible I was at learning new languages.
Unfortunately, I graduated not too long after the Great Recession. There weren’t many prospects for me with the job market down and as a result, I was unemployed for months after getting a degree.
I was the first one in my family to earn a degree. I felt great shame and hesitated to tell my parents what I was struggling with.
I ended up working three part-time jobs to help pay my bills. Eventually, through a twist of fate, a coworker suggested I apply for a job at a local grocery store chain called HEB.
“They’re doing a job fair. They’re hiring lots of people all at once. I’m going if you want to join me,” she said.
It was at HEB that I began my lifelong career by helping retailers grow.
I began as a cashier, but my dedication to helping customers and my fellow teammates quickly earned me respect and a short-track promotion to Customer Service Manager.
Sensing my potential, my leaders encouraged me to apply for the School of Retail Leadership Program, a two-year program that helps build retail store leaders.
Through this program, I developed critical skills such as retail management, people development, profit and loss statements, merchandising, and inventory planning. I eventually graduated and spent a few years co-managing HEBs in the Houston area.
Eventually, I transitioned out of retail and switched to the corporate world. I started my career in category management at Sysco Foods. Later, we moved to Utah, where I worked for BodyGuardz, a mobile tech accessory company, and eBay, one of the world’s largest e-commerce marketplaces.
Nowadays, I work as a Category Advisor for Walmart with Fellowes Brands, where I consult the buyers on optimizing their assortment in their stores.
My experience in using consumer data, market research, and business analytics helps me curate the right products for people. As such, I’ve grown a passion for helping retailers, both big and small, and e-commerce businesses grow while not sacrificing the consumer experience.
If you’re a business owner and ever need help with growing and executing your omnichannel strategies, let me know!
(Please note that my writings are my own opinion and not of any organization I work for).
Currently
Nowadays, I live in Northwest Arkansas with my wife and two Siberian Huskies.
Aside from work, I enjoy homebody activities such as cooking, reading, gaming, and of course, writing. I still retained my love for learning new things. You can always find me going down Wikipedia rabbit holes.
I enjoy seeing pretty things in the world, so I am always down for traveling and hiking. I also enjoy dabbling in landscape and astrophotography, as well as digital painting.
Examples of my creative hobbies:
I’d consider myself an INFJ on the MBTI scale and love advocating on behalf of others.
I’m the Founder of About Me Stories, a Medium community dedicated to celebrating every person’s unique stories and perspectives.
I also have ADHD and borderline personality disorder (BPD), a mental illness that shapes how I perceive myself. I’ve written about these experiences here. Writing about what I struggle with internally has opened so many doors for me in terms of my growth, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
My amazing mom was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease in I first started writing on Medium in 2020 as a way to cope with her sickness. Here is an article on that topic here.
Sadly, she passed away in March 2023. I hope one day, I can write the words to help celebrate her life. I like to remind myself that a historian records history through writing but memories can fade.
Looking Forward
I’ve always believed in the manifestation of goals. It’s not merely about willing something into existence; it’s about taking purposeful actions driven by unwavering determination.
If there’s a lesson my parents, survivors of a perilous escape from Vietnam, have taught me, it’s the invaluable worth of grit. As Angela Duckworth aptly put it, “Consistency of effort over the long run is everything.”
Their journey of hope and resilience instilled in me a passion for understanding the past. The past isn’t just history; it’s a trove of lessons, insights, and stories that guide our future steps. This deep-rooted belief has been the foundation of my professional trajectory.
On Writing
My passion for history, along with my career as a retail category manager, makes me a data archaeologist of sorts. Instead of physical artifacts, I sift through numbers, trends, and patterns to uncover unique stories that have the potential to shape the future.
Writing, for me, is not just a hobby, but an urgent necessity. With my mom’s passing to Alzheimer’s, I’ve been starkly reminded of time’s fleeting nature.
If we don’t record our thoughts, they’re gone. If we don’t share our tales, they vanish. If we don’t tell stories, they’re history, and those stories remain untold.
I’m drawn to a digital canvas, in today’s technological age, to empower people to weave words, poems, and stories that will stand the test of time — preferably throughout human existence. I aim to help empower others, reclaim their time, and emphasize the moments that truly matter.
One day, you may find me on a serene beach island, an older version of myself, penning tales of history and futuristic adventures. I would love to finish writing my book on my parents’ escape from Vietnam. If you ever want to stay updated on my progress, subscribe to my email list here:
https://quyma.medium.com/subscribe
On Medium, my writing spans various themes, from personal growth to philosophy & history to the intricacies of business trends. They’re a reflection of my observations, learnings, and the perpetual dance between daily observation and living.
Feel free to reach out to me on any platform. I love meeting new people and making connections, especially with diverse stories and viewpoints.
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Until then, I wish you the best with your journey. Cheers!
