About Me — Jennifer McDougall

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Abstract

"c4f0">So Both…And… works well for me. For instance: Isn’t it amazing how writers can both freely pen something about others and struggle so much with their own story?Like balsamic vinegar that has been fermented and aged, I’ve been mulling this “About Me” piece for quite some time. The insides of my warped and oft referred to as “weird” skull struggle with what to write about who I really am. After 48 years of surviving Canadian mosquitoes, you would think I would have some clue.Here is what you’re going to get.I am both a passionate puddle jumper and I itch with an OCD that squelches the very idea of mud on carpets. I both dream of days digging so deeply into dirt my fingernails are darkened crescents and the sight of a single crumb on my countertop sends my blood pressure to Mars.I both despise conflict and I am what my boss prudently refers to as a Disruptor. Sigh. I am both an elementary school teacher and I write erotica.I am both a Jesus-loving Christian and someone who chucks the F word around like it’s confetti at a divorce pa

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rty. I both quote scripture and know that homosexuality is normal, women are equal to men, and abortion is a woman’s choice.I both run marathons and drink barrels of pinot noir. I am both a mother of teens who enjoys being outside tossing about a birdie or frisbee and a parent who throws her arms in the air, yelling, “Screw it, just play your damn video games for 732 straight hours!”I both long to doze off in a tent to the chitter of birds and I adore rolling about the crisp white sheets of a fluffy hotel bed.Is this beginning to sound a little like my profile on Ashley Madison? Don’t worry. I’m currently taken. I both aim to care for the husband of almost 18 years who I only somewhat like and develop a deep, rewarding, and passionate relationship with my lover.I am both confusing as well and…Oh, wait. No “and” here. I’m just plain confusing as hell. And that’s exactly how I want me to be. I’m both full of contradictions and all the better for it.©Jennifer J. McDougall 2021</article></body>

Both… And… A contradictions sort of gal

Hey, I may teach your kids so this is all you’re going to get! Image by the author with the help of Snapchat

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.) Walt Whitman

I am brimming with more discrepancies than Al Capone’s tax returns. Yes, as a breathing, farting sack of flesh I am full of contradiction. Who isn’t? But we’re not talking about anyone else, we’re discussing moi.

Four years ago my husband was diagnosed at age 47 with Early Onset Alzheimer’s. One of the many things I discovered was the Both…And… way of thinking. Originally it was meant to go like this: I can BOTH love my spouse with dementia AND want him dead.

I’ve almost always been prone to reasoning that gray is best. Black and white are just so cramped and smothering, don’t you think? Why does there have to be only two ways of reasoning?

So Both…And… works well for me. For instance: Isn’t it amazing how writers can both freely pen something about others and struggle so much with their own story?

Like balsamic vinegar that has been fermented and aged, I’ve been mulling this “About Me” piece for quite some time. The insides of my warped and oft referred to as “weird” skull struggle with what to write about who I really am. After 48 years of surviving Canadian mosquitoes, you would think I would have some clue.

Here is what you’re going to get.

I am both a passionate puddle jumper and I itch with an OCD that squelches the very idea of mud on carpets. I both dream of days digging so deeply into dirt my fingernails are darkened crescents and the sight of a single crumb on my countertop sends my blood pressure to Mars.

I both despise conflict and I am what my boss prudently refers to as a Disruptor. Sigh. I am both an elementary school teacher and I write erotica.

I am both a Jesus-loving Christian and someone who chucks the F word around like it’s confetti at a divorce party. I both quote scripture and know that homosexuality is normal, women are equal to men, and abortion is a woman’s choice.

I both run marathons and drink barrels of pinot noir. I am both a mother of teens who enjoys being outside tossing about a birdie or frisbee and a parent who throws her arms in the air, yelling, “Screw it, just play your damn video games for 732 straight hours!”

I both long to doze off in a tent to the chitter of birds and I adore rolling about the crisp white sheets of a fluffy hotel bed.

Is this beginning to sound a little like my profile on Ashley Madison? Don’t worry. I’m currently taken. I both aim to care for the husband of almost 18 years who I only somewhat like and develop a deep, rewarding, and passionate relationship with my lover.

I am both confusing as well and…Oh, wait. No “and” here. I’m just plain confusing as hell. And that’s exactly how I want me to be. I’m both full of contradictions and all the better for it.