About Least Desirable

Summary

"Least Desirable" is an initiative by Ari Tatarka to explore the experiences of black women in dating, particularly in light of data showing racial biases in online dating preferences, as highlighted by Christian Rudder's book "Dataclysm."

Abstract

The website "Least Desirable" delves into the personal and often overlooked narratives of black women in the dating scene, a topic brought to the forefront by Christian Rudder's analysis in his book "Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One’s Looking)." Rudder's research, particularly his findings that black women and Asian men face the strongest biases in heterosexual dating preferences, has been a catalyst for discussing the intersection of race and attraction in online dating. The site aims to go beyond the cold statistics, such as black women receiving 25 percent fewer first messages on OkCupid, to share the lived experiences that these numbers represent—ranging from the awkward to the exhilarating aspects of seeking love as a person of color. "Least Desirable" seeks to provide a platform for these stories, fostering a sense of community and understanding among people of color and offering insights into the complexities of dating while minority.

Opinions

The data from dating sites revealing racial biases in dating preferences is seen as a stark representation of the challenges faced by black women in dating.
There is a recognition that the reality of being a minority in the dating world extends far beyond what data can capture, encompassing a wide range of personal experiences.
The initiative encourages a dialogue that moves past mere data points to the emotional and political dimensions of dating as a person of color.
The creator, Ari Tatarka, emphasizes the importance of sharing personal stories to highlight the diversity of experiences within the minority dating community.
The site is also a call to action, inviting individuals to contribute their own stories and participate in a broader conversation about race, identity, and attraction.

An awkward name for an awkward existence.

In 2014 Christian Rudder of OkCupid published Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One’s Looking), a book that detailed how our private online behavior belies our public personas. While the book covers all things analytics from Google searches to Facebook likes, one of the more viral revelations was the data surrounding race-based dating preferences.

“All the data on race I have is from dating sites,” Rudder said in an NPR interview, “but on these sites, [for] black users especially, there’s a bias against them.” In fact, the strongest biases in heterosexual dating preferences were against black women and Asian men. Dataclysm also reported that black women receive 25 percent fewer first messages on OkCupid than women of all other ethnicities.

Black women receive 25 percent fewer first messages on OkCupid than women of all other ethnicities.

To most, this was a provocative tidbit to be retweeted and forgotten within days. But for black women like me, this is life.

The data are mere tidy representations of a messy existence. And while I’m a big fan of big data, the good stuff begins where data ends. My goal with Least Desirable is to share stories of what it means to be a minority not in the abstract, but in the awkward, exhilarating, exhausting, devastating, and occasionally amusing reality that is the pursuit of love.

The stories here will cover the personal to the political to pop culture and beyond; but most of all, they will be reminders for people of color (and to anyone who dates, really) that we aren’t alone.

If you’d like to share your story here, please don’t hesitate to email me at [email protected].

Talk soon.

: Ari