Summary

The web content introduces a humorous collection of new abbreviations proposed for inclusion in the modern lexicon to reflect contemporary communication needs and societal trends.

Abstract

The article "Abbreviations for a Brave New World" presents a lighthearted take on the evolution of language, specifically the addition of abbreviations to the English language. The author suggests several playful and satirical abbreviations such as "CTFD" for "Calm The Fk Down," "PDSM" for "Please Don't Supersize Me," and a series of variations on "IMP" to express different levels of emotional distress into one's pillow. These abbreviations are meant to encapsulate modern experiences and attitudes, from the fast-food culture to personal emotional responses. The piece also touches on the importance of personal space and respectful discourse in an increasingly polarized society, as seen with "DSSCTM" for "Don't Stand So Close To Me" and "IRD, BIWTLTY" for "I Respectfully Disagree, But I’m Willing To Listen To You." The author acknowledges the potential for these abbreviations to be adopted in various settings, including medical jargon with "TMB" for "Too Many Birthdays" and "RFN" for "Right Fking Now," and suggests that they could become as ubiquitous as commonly used acronyms like "LOL" and "BRB."

Opinions

The author believes that the proposed abbreviations could serve as labor-saving tools for those who communicate frequently via text, such as "Twitterers, typists, texters and other thumb drivers."
There is a satirical tone in the suggestion that "CTFD" might actually lead to calm and reasoned discourse, highlighting the author's skepticism about its practical effectiveness.
The author expresses a critical view of consumer culture, particularly fast food, by proposing "PDSM" and "NSA" to discourage overconsumption and promote healthier choices.
The use of "DSTOL" and "DSSCTM" reflects the author's concern about the spread of disease and the importance of personal space, especially in public settings.
The creation of "IRD, BIWTLTY" indicates the author's desire for more civil and open-minded discourse in political conversations.
The author pokes fun at the medical profession's use of abbreviations and gallows humor with terms like "TMB" and "RFN," suggesting a familiarity with the culture of the field.
By inviting readers to contribute their own abbreviations with "ASAP" and "DIY," the author encourages community engagement and the ongoing evolution of language.

YEAH RIGHT

Abbreviations for a Brave New World

LOL, OMG, BRB, TTYL — got it! But how about these new ones?

650 new words were added to the English language in 2019. But I think abbreviations are getting short shrift. I’m out to change that with these candidates for inclusion in the lexicon. Heads up Urban Dictionary!

Twitterers, typists, texters and other thumb drivers, you can thank me now for the labor savers below.

CTFD — Calm The F&%k Down!

Although hipsters may prefer CTFO — Chill The F&%k Out

If you have to bellow CTFD! at someone it’s probably not going to have the desired effect. Frankly, it’s almost always the wrong thing to say. But really, what if it brought foolishly aggressive people up short and allowed for a few slow deep cleansing breaths? Calm and reason might then triumph and we could move forward together. Seems like an idea whose time has come … no?

PDSM — Please Don’t Supersize Me!

I’m already at your greasy fast-food dining disaster. I’ll own that bad decision. Busily ruining my health and contributing to the death of our planet, understood. Your regular-sized meal (that I’ve just ordered without prompting from you) would feed a family of four anywhere else in the world. Please don’t compound my poor judgment by enabling further bad decisions. Thank you.

NSA — No Supersizing Allowed

Better still. Would look especially good on clothing in S to XL, maybe XXL but not bigger than that unless you play in the NFL. Yeah I know, this is going to make me super popular, and completely unable to ever hold public office.

CIMP — Crying Into My Pillow

SIMP — Sobbing Into My Pillow

WIMP — Wailing Into My Pillow

WhIMP — Whimpering Into My Pillow

ScIMP — Screaming Into My Pillow

We all know LOL, and use it all the time, but isn’t CIMP (and by extension: SIMP, WIMP, WhIMP and ScIMP) more suited to the modern world?

DSTOL — Don’t Say That Out Loud

(pronounced “distol”)

So useful. Need I say more?

DSSCTM — Don’t Stand So Close To Me

(pronounced dissect ’em)

This one is kinda borrowed from The Police. Not those police, but those Police.

But still, with free-range fools loose in public mask-free because the right to spread disease is guaranteed by the Constitution, DSSCTM could look good on a tee shirt, or a mask for that matter. Even Hazmat gear.

Also useful at the gym.

YMBTCFYOG — You may be too clever for your own good

Sent to me by my deluded bro who thinks that occasionally, I’m TCFMOG (Too Clever For My Own Good).

BTW — Someone who read this piece responded that they thought I HTMTOMH (Had Too Much Time On My Hands). Probably true.

IRD, BIWTLTY — I Respectfully Disagree, But I’m Willing To Listen To You.

(pronounced “erd bitwitly”)

We could have buttons, hats and tee-shirts printed up and wear them at political rallies and debates. They’d be especially fetching on TV news shows that insist on featuring diametrically opposed combatants on the same program.

From the wonderful world of medicine, chock full of cynics, burnouts, curmudgeons, sourpusses, and other malcontents, comes these pearls:

TMB — Too Many Birthdays

A completely valid cause of death. We all do it, die that is. So, when you’re really old and grey (and have shuffled off this mortal coil), and someone asks “what did that dude, or dudette, die of?” a friend or family member can respond “TMB” and everyone will understand.

POB — Peace Out Bitches

A nice way to bid a fond farewell to coworkers at the end of another gratifying stress-free workday.

I used to say “AMF YOYO I’m OTD” (Adios My Friend, You’re On Your Own, I’m Out The Door) on my way out; but I love the scaled-down economy of POB.

BTW — Adios Mo Fo can be substituted for “Adios My Friend” in my old standby if you choose to go old school.

RFN — Right F%$king Now

(pronounced riffin’!)

A great sub for Stat! which is derived from the Latin statim, AKA RFN. We, in medicine all speak gib (AKA gibberish) and in abbreviations too, so what’s one more? RFN is a good one and will likely bleed out of the medical world and stain the rest of humanity due to its power and hipness. Speak doctor-speak without being a doctor. How cool is that?!

TGTIO — Thank God This Is Over

(pronounced “tig tio”)

A variant of TGIF. For lots of us, there’s nothing magic about Friday. Witness all the peeps who say “This is my Friday” meaning that Monday or Wednesday or whatever day it is is the last day of their workweek.

Maybe a chain of fun-oriented TGTIO restaurants would spring up! Seems far-fetched but who knows?

TGTIO could also be useful in a wide variety of settings besides the workplace. I’ll let your imagination work on that one.

So, if you have a FOMO, you should — IMHO — include these GOAT abbreviations in your collection, ASAP!

Who knows though, I might BRB with another AWTHC (Abbreviations Whose Time Has Come) collection. Send some ideas to me if you like, or just DIY.

BFN, TTYL

FOMO — Fear of Missing Out IMHO — In My Humble Opinion GOAT — Greatest Of All Time ASAP — As Soon As Possible BRB — Be Right Back DIY — Do It Yourself BFN — Bye For Now TTYL — Talk To You Later