A Writer Like You

But not like us

It’s an old cliché: “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean someone’s not out to get you.”

I try to repress those feelings. Medication helps. But sometimes I get forked right in the eyeball of my frontal cortex. As I understand it, that’s where we crazy old people are most vulnerable. No, I’m not a psychiatrist or schooled in any other way to make that diagnosis; however, as a writer I am by default, crazy. You can look it up.

But enough of this crazy talk. Here’s where I’m going with this.

Yesterday I received the following email from <[email protected]>, whom I will refer to hereafter as MyFriends @ Medium.com:

4/19/2021

From: Medium Research Team <[email protected]>

Hi Phil,

Thinking about our goals for the year ahead, a big one for us is continuing to make Medium a better place for writers like you. And that starts with listening to your story and understanding your needs.

As part of that effort, we wanted to invite you to consider joining an online research study we’re running, where we’ll be looking to learn about things like your approach towards writing, your hopes for the future, and your experiences sharing writing on Medium and elsewhere.

Okay, yeah. I’ve been involved with Medium for a year now. I’ve got a few issues I’d like to discuss, maybe make some suggestions on how I think they can “make Medium a better place for writers like you.” So I’ll accept MyFriends@Medium’s invitation to join the research study.

I clicked the link MyFriends provided to allow me to join. They asked me one question:

What’s your age? 75, I entered. Clicked the Next button.

A message in red appeared:

“We’re sorry, you’re not a good fit for our survey…”

It went on for a line or two more — “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” — condescendingly trying to spare my feelings, I guess.

Too late. I don’t remember the latter part. The first part stuck with me like the press of a red hot branding iron on a cow’s hip. It burned, it stunk. Needless to say, not only was I greatly insulted, I was greatly pissed.

I tried the link again thinking there must be some mistake. They had, afterall, invited me. Another red message (paraphrased):

“You’ve already tried this. STOP IT!”

I noticed in the email they said the survey would start on 4/15/21. I received the email on 4/19. By damn, that should’ve been a red flag right there, like I was sort of an afterthought.

I’m not sure where MyFriends’ cutoff age is for wanting to know a writer’s “approach towards writing, your hopes for the future, and your experiences sharing writing on Medium and elsewhere,” but an educated guess would be around 50 with a median age of 32. I remember reading a curated Medium post by a young woman who was distraught that she’d turned 30, but felt comforted at the end because she had grown wise with life experience. Oh, baby.

MyFriends’ algorithm must have calculated, “This one’s [me] hopes for the future are short-term at best.” And, “Like Joe Biden, he probably can’t remember his experiences.”

The whole thing supports my notion (and props up my paranoia) that this platform caters to the young, enlightened, and woke. Oh sure,old folks can write things here, but it’s only as a courtesy. We’re grandfathered (or mothered) in, so to speak. Curation has an age limit. Like, what could anyone possibly have to offer at the advanced age of 75. I mean, someone that old probably doesn’t even know about Saul Alinsky or the iPhone 12. Right? Everyone who’s anyone knows the world didn’t start until 2000, maybe 1990. Whatever, it was when Obama was president.

I seriously thought about titling this post, “Why I’m Leaving Medium,” but no doubt that one has been used several times. Figured I’d stick around for a couple reasons: 1. I’ve already paid my fifty bucks for another year. 2. It’d be a satisfying thing to write snotty and sarcastic things about my arrogant young [email protected]. And I’m just the guy to do it, even if no one reads it.

Thanks for stopping by. If you read any of my stuff, you’ll see I don’t write from the platform’s common perspective. You see, I’m not only old, I’m [shudder] conservative. I try to stay away from politics, but it’s hard sometimes. Still, I have a few friends here who put up with me, as I do them 😉. Most of them are above [email protected]’s age cap; some are not. We get along. I respect them, they respect me. That’s all anyone can ask.

I don’t write on Medium for a living. I write novels, also not for a living. Not my original intent. I invite you to visit my website. Click the image below to go there. When you join my Readers Group, I’ll send you a free copy of my short stories collection, Skins Game.

A shout out to some of those great friends I mentioned. Britni Pepper, Dr Mehmet Yildiz, Stuart Englander, Tree Langdon, Bebe Nicholson, Teresa Kuhl, Claire Kelly, Warren Brown, Fatim Hemraj, Dr. Preeti Singh, Liam Ireland, Amanda Walker, Terry Mansfield, Trapper Sherwood