Discovering the Benefits of Male Chastity in a Long-Term Relationship

Locking the husband in chastity after 30 years of marriage has sparked new desires in this real-life couple’s relationship

Hotwife stories and husbands locked in chastity fill up the pages of erotic story sites and erotica e-books. A real-life couple who I know only as Julie and Doug have talked about chastity for a few years as he grew more sexually submissive to her.

And now, Julie has him locked in a cock cage.

They’ve been married for about 30 years and their relationship has gone from reading cuckold stories to engaging in real-life chastity.

She messaged me recently that Doug wore his cock cage to work for the first time, and she’s making him wear it over a weekend. His sexual desires will increase, she told me, “and he’ll be eating me out a lot.”

Here’s a look at how and why their desires developed.

Shared fantasies

I met Julie via online about four years ago via an erotica site, and I soon discovered she had an interest in BDSM porn. We exchanged links to hardcore BDSM clips that we both found enticing. When she sent me clips that I had previously seen, I knew she was really into the genre.

She was married and had the openness to share the clips with her husband. They both enjoyed hardcore kink and got sexually aroused when watching the Dominants inflict punishment on the submissives.

Reading erotica is another turn-on for them. Julie enjoyed stories of the wife being sexually used to pay off debts or correct some other mistake the husband made. Her fantasies have centered around her desire to submit to a dominant man while teasing her husband and controlling his sexuality.

Chastity has given her that edgy feeling.

Intimate communication

Julie’s sex life with her husband evolved over a period of a few years. They are professionals living in suburbia and often spend time with their married adult children. Normal.

Yet, their kinks are strong and Julie became more comfortable sharing her desires with Doug. She messaged me about another development that took place.

She had restricted Doug from fucking her, teasing him by saying that the boyfriends she had sex with before getting married were far superior to him. She also teased him about his small cock.

She’d tell Doug to pleasure her orally while he was getting worked up from the emotional sting. Julie said her orgasms were often deep. She’s a natural flirt and when traveling would tell Doug about men she flirted with and her fantasies of letting men use her.

Turning her fantasies into stories

I’ve written almost a dozen stories on Medium about Julie, her husband, and her Master dominating her while Doug, always in chastity, would watch.

She’d read and share the stories with Doug and would suggest more topics, including a gangbang story that I’ve yet to write:

I was also thinking about a story where we go to a swing resort with Doug locked away and you (me as the author) share me with men to humiliate him. He is made to be naked at all times so other men can see his cage as you use me and offer me to other men.

It’s clear that she and her husband have been tracking and the topic is often on her mind, even with the reality they live in.

She ordered him a chastity cage without him knowing, but he was turned on when he found out and she had him wear it when they took weekend trips away. It became their play when they had free time.

Now, she’s making him wear it more often and he’s been getting used to sleeping in his cage.

The enjoyment of his chastity cage

I asked why they both enjoyed his chastity and what they were getting from it.

“He now looks forward to wearing it. He says it has become an addiction,” she wrote. “And when he isn’t in it he craves the feeling. And to be honest I find it a turn-on to see him in it. He says it makes him horny to feel it and knowing it is there makes him drip.”

So, chastity elicits a strong emotion in him and triggers her sadistic side.

“I tease him by stroking his cage. He is dripping precum everywhere trying to feel my hand but he can't. I really love to grab him by the balls and squeeze the hard and pull at them. Even though it hurts he wants any kind of touching and contact.”

Chastity, she wrote, also makes him compliant while giving Julie control.

“When he gets that horny, he would agree to most anything. After he eats me and makes me come, I love to feel him on top of me with his cage still on trying to gain access. But he can’t and all he can do is rub his small cage against my wet pussy.

“And the whole time we are playing, I keep reminding him how small his cock is and how he comes way too fast. When I do let him out, I watch as he jerks off begging me to touch him, but I won’t. He always cums in less than a minute and I immediately lock his cage back in place.”

Controlling him is a big benefit and it makes Doug more sensitive to Julie’s pleasure.

“What I like about him in his cage is having control over him without a fight. So far when he is locked in it, he will do just about anything I ask him to and do things I never thought he would. He is so attentive and so pleasing. I also like how it even humiliates him because the cage is so small. I find myself saying things to him that I never thought I could.”

Julie’s personal findings corroborate with a man who shared his story about being in chastity with the Guardian in a 2021 article My life in sex: the man who wears a chastity device.

He began wearing a device while single “and found that the inability to get an erection gave me room to focus on other things. Rather than feeling sexually repressed, I felt a kind of freedom. I could concentrate more on work, and I felt more in touch with the world in general.”

He eventually fell in love “and met a loving partner who, to my delight, enjoys the idea of ‘locking her man up.’ Wearing it during sex has made me a more attentive lover.”

He refers to their use as “amateurish” since he wears the device only a few hours at a time. But he’s beginning to experiment with longer periods of time and is wearing a lightweight device when going out.

A listing of benefits of male chastity is on cuttothechaste.net and The Science of Male Chastity reflects the positive behavior changes that Julie described like listening more closely, paying more attention to the woman, and feeling less stressed overall.

Evaluate what’s right for you

Wearing a chastity device can deepen communication and the shared teasing and denial can be an erotic spark in a long-term relationship. It takes getting used to and may change personal habits. Julie says Doug has to sit when he urinates.

Not all devices fit equally so find one that’s right for you in terms of size, weight, and overall comfort level.

Like other kinks and desires, using a device can be a game played for fun or, as it appears in the case of Julie and Doug, it can evolve from fantasy and into a lifestyle.

Read the popular Julie and Master erotica stories in my Kinky Couples collection and read sexual health essays in my Relationships and Sexual Health Index.

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