A whale of a time @ final departure sublime — Professional Wailers
Old Dali Town — China — A Chinese Journey of the departed Pussycat Tale
Yunnan Province Wanderlust Journey — Episode Six
A Pussy Cat Tale
Lady Donga Diaries
Words & Pictures — Lady Donga
Meow 220
Welcome back to the wanderlust Yunnan, China series dear readers.
You may recall from episode five that my human slave Seaspray D and his traveling companion Lotus Blossom were kidnapped by Golden Triangle Narco Warlords — but were thankfully saved by our latter-day saint’s big feet.
Indeed, Lotus Blossom’s rather large toesies broke the habitual criminals’ nozesies — the drug warlords that is — who had attempted to force Seaspray D and Lotus Blossom to smuggle and deliver heroin to Hong Kong 14 K Triad gangsters via a high-speed bullet train.
The gangster’s plan was thwarted by Lotus Blossom’s martial art prowess, her whirlwind spinning angry tiger feisty feline high kicks to the bandits’ heads — high flying kicks that Bruce Lee would have been proud of!
Hai Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Subsequently, Detective Sergeant Hu Flung Dung of the Chinese Armed Police Special Unit Border Control Squad rewarded Undercover Agent Lotus Blossom with one night accommodation at the Pullman Resort Xishuangbanna Hotel and plane tickets to escape Xishuangbanna Prefecture the next day with her Ozzie sidekick Seaspray D.
Episode five closed with Lotus Blossom and Seaspray D soaking in a hot tub — smiling away at each other like two contented water babies.
Seaspray D will continue the narration dear readers (while I will take a well-deserved nap — Meow).
Well, there we were in the hot tub — smiling victoriously at each other while I massaged the slightly bruised toes of Oriental Heroine Lotus Blossom.
“So, you are an undercover agent Lotus Blossom, you are full of surprises — and all along I thought you were just a flirty waitress at a small Xishuangbanna Guest House,” I smilingly said.
“Well Seaspray D, I’m going to surprise you more tonight — we can both be undercover now — under the bed covers that is, come on let’s get dry and enjoy some boing boing time my Kangaroo friend,” Lotus Blossom teased me, as she grabbed me by the hand and ordered me to the boudoir (after seeing her ferocious kung fu kicks — I was afraid to refuse).
And yes, dear readers, soon we were both tucked under the covers, like two gum nuts wrapped in gum leaves — swinging to the rhythmic beat of the whirring air conditioner above our cozy bed.
The next day we were given bad news at the airport.
All flights to Kunming from Xishuangbanna airport were cancelled due to meteorite damage on the tarmac.
Fortunately, we were bussed to Simao (300 km north) to catch the plane from the Simao/Pu’er airport.
Our aircraft was a Russian Tupolev Tu-95 four engine turbo prop (code named Bear by NATO) — converted from its former role as a bomber and missile launcher.
The flight attendant at the bottom of the stairs apologized for the rescheduling — and refunded us half the cost of the airfare in cash — and then awarded us a family size packet of biscuits each to nibble on during the flight.
“A limousine awaits you at Kunming airport to drive you to your next Yunnan destination — Dali — it’s the least we can do to compensate for the delays and rerouting,” the flight attendant explained.
The flight was uneventful as we flew over tea plantations of Pu’er district below — with a few wobbles here and there on this gigantic noisy turbo prop aircraft.
The limousine as promised by the flight attendant was waiting for us on the Kunming International airport tarmac as we disembarked.
The road distance to Dali was another 300 km — but fortunately we could snooze most of the trip away in back of the comfortable limo.
The topography was different to the more tropical Xishuangbanna Dai autonomous prefecture we had departed earlier that day.
An monotonous undulating voyage of up a dry hill and down another — with not many trees in between.
After three hours or so with a few pee pee stops on the way — we arrived at Dali — geographically, a transition area between the dramatic valleys of the Hengduan ranges on the eastern edge of the Tibetan Plateau and the distinctive mountains of the western Yungui plateau — with the moist Erhai Lake nearby.
We booked into a boutique hotel in Old Dali Town, a popular Yunnan destination known for its historical cultural heritage and natural scenery.
The nearby Cang Mountains was like a huge lumpy chocolate cake with icy snow frosting on top — stunning.
From the rooftop of our hotel — we could see the Erhai lake stretching out in the valley plain below, an area that has been traditionally settled by the Bai and Yi minorities.
Suddenly there was a howling noise in the streets below.
A lady dressed in white costume was crawling along the pavement howling like a pussycat with burnt paws!
Behind her were others similarly dressed in white — and behind them was a percussion band with cymbals and drums making a huge racket.
“What’s happening here,”? I quizzed Lotus Blossom.
Lotus Blossom observed for a few moments before offering an explanation:
Seaspray D, some of those in the front are professional mourners/wailers, a common ritual in China where families pay the wailers in advance — to bring the family mourners and others along in a lavish show to celebrate the funeral.
The mourners are trained singers usually accompanied by an ensemble. As we can see, the first action is for the mourners to crawl — and while crawling the head wailer dramatically announces the name of the deceased.
And as you can see and hear — a eulogy is performed loudly in a sobbing fashion backed by clanging of cymbals and other loud instruments — these actions (Lotus Blossom points downward) make the attending wailers and audience shed tears of sadness with exclamations and questions like: why did you leave us so soon? — the earth is covered in a black veil for you — the rivers and streams are dying to tell your story — we are so sorry we could not keep you here!
The family is then instructed to bow in front of the coffin three times.
This is usually followed by a belly dancer, and then the song vibe ascends among flashing lights creating a more up beat theme for the attendees. While the professional wailers job is to remind attendees that funeral time is sad — they also have the duty of raising the spirits of everyone thereafter with fun songs once the wailing and mourning is over.
While, I found this most fascinating, I was totally exhausted from the long journey from Xishuangbanna earlier that day.
In fact, we were both shagged from the long trip — and literally from our nocturnal kangaroo bedroom sport activities the night before.
Stay tuned for a wee tour of Old Dali Town and the continued Yunnan journey to Lijiang — sometime soon.
MeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooW for now dear readers
Until next time
With Love — Lady Donga Diaries — © Meow 220–2024