A Wedding’s Dream

May 2020

I dream, I mean: I dream a lot. I practically remember what I dream as soon as I wake up, and after a while I forget it. Most of the time they are forgettable things, that there is no place to grab them to retain it in memory.

This was different. I dreamed that I was getting married … to myself. I had a party with all of the people :friends, family, of my work, dressed in white, a great and crazy party. And I was happy.

In a moment of the preparations, I realize that in the ceremony the one who speaks -as doing the act-, didn’t have to say “you accept… such a husband.” Because I didn’t have to accept anyone but myself!

I was calling a co-worker to see how we would solve it until I said not to say that part and that’s it. I woke up ecstatic. Happy

I looked up the meaning on the Dreams web pages and found none that spoke of marrying oneself. But I made sense of it right away. It was the total acceptance of me. To have finally committed myself (after 44 years) to myself. It was in the same week, when I decided that I was going to make a living from writing, my passion would give me the economic return.

It was in the week that I started writing in Medium, and I started reading articles that would help me advance in the writing process.

I am a disbelief in marriages. Not from the fact of living together and all the love, clearly not that. I don’t believe in the Institutions they have to find out who I love or not. Neither the State nor the Church or religion that matters. I believe that love is something individual and “warn” the State that it wants such or whatever … I don’t see any sense in it. I know that “the family is the foundation of society”. But there are families who are without telling anyone but themselves. The commitment is with the other, not for having signed a paper or having made a very expensive party. In fact I have two children and two houses with the father of my children, we were together for 20 years and we never married. Now that we are separated, we should not pay any attorney to give us the divorce paper. I know, there are people who do not separate so amicably and need a mediator. You would need an attorney in any way, married or not.

So I was quite surprised by the dream (I never wanted to wear white). But it gave me the certainty that I am on the right path of self-esteem and self-love. That there is no more important love than which exists towards oneself.

If you don’t start from there, we have no love to give to the rest.