A Universal Rule on Decision Making

In fact, you’re not the one to decide

“A universal rule on decision making: don’t make them until it’s time to make them. Unless you already know what you want, in which case, however, there is no decision to be made.” — Unknow author

This quote is hanging on my wall, above my headboard. I can’t remember where I found it, several months ago, but I remember freezing while reading it. This quote deeply resonated in my head. As the eternal undecided that I am, I had never thought of things like that.

Let’s make a short analysis of these two sentences.

• “A universal rule”: the word “universal” implies that it works for every single decision in your life, from tiny to huge ones. Good news.
• “Until it’s time to make them” supposes that timing is key. It kind of pushes away from you a part of the responsibility. Timing decides.
• “Unless you already know what you want”: to me, it relates to feelings. Feeling the answer deep inside your mind. It might be the part that stroke me the most because it implies that you already know what you want. This leads me to the last part, “there is no decision to be made”.

I might be wrong, but I read it as: “deep down, you already know exactly what you want. If you don’t know yet, maybe you shouldn’t make any decision because the whole thing isn’t mature enough for now. When you’ll be ready, you’ll know. There will be no decision to make anymore, but you’ll have to be courageous enough to act according to your needs and wants”.

The decision-making process is an illusion

Decisions are made on their own. It seems like the whole thing is an illusion. Making a decision is asking yourself one question — such as: do I really want to move to New York? — then taking a step back inside your mind, having a quiet moment, and listening carefully to what your deep self is whispering back. It’s not about weighing up the pros and the cons, because the truth is: you can never know ahead of time. To keep the New York example, you can never know how you’ll feel, what you will miss out, and what you will win. It’s called the future. Nobody knows.

The only one who knows is your deep self. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s pure instinct. But if you listen carefully to it, you’ll hear the answer. You will even feel it. The whole point is here: feeling what you want.

If you keep thinking in terms of words in place of feelings and deep emotions, you’ll run around in circles, moving from one possibility to the other without being able to choose. You already know what is right. If you don’t feel it at the moment, it might be the sign that you need some more time. Circumstances will change. Other elements will get into the equation. Clues will appear along the way, which way might take 2 more days or 2 more years. But when you’ll be ready, you’ll know. Things will appear clearly in your mind. You’ll be thankful to have waited because then, there will no longer be any doubt.

Decisions are not about choices. They are about bravery

All the above leads me to this last point: decisions are not about choices, but about bravery. If the decision is already obvious, what is left? I’ll give it to you in a thousand: what is left is having the courage to act upon your needs and wants.

Now, you know what you have to do. But circumstances are hard to change. Even scary. It implies rethinking a lot of things — unless we’re talking about choosing between burger or pizza.

But the truth is here, a few steps away. You owe it to yourself to overcome the obstacles. Make the changes needed in your life. Free yourself.

“There is nothing keeping you from doing it but you” — Unknow author

This one too is hanging on my wall.

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