A Twist That Taught Me How To Celebrate Me
Commitment to the blank pages
I created a great tool that helped me push through a plateau in my thinking and get unstuck in year-two of my health journey. It is based on the gift of a blank journal and advice from my doctor — with my twist.
The Gift
A new journal. Wow! Sometimes people know exactly what you need. What a gift! A blank page. And more blank pages. So much opportunity.
So much anxiety.
New journals are so hard for me. I struggle to make the commitment. I feel scared to start —like the first page can make or break the whole thing. Well, actually, I never write on the first page. I always skip to the second. For some reason, I save the first page for something that may be more important, or just to be blank. I always struggle to decide what ideas I have that are worthy of a new blank journal. I want to make sure I don’t miss the best purpose —there could be so many.
The possibilities are endless. I could keep a word collection. I like word collections. I love quotes. It could be a book full of my favorites. I could write heartfelt sentiments and give them to my grandma for her birthday. The stone on the front is her favorite color. It could be for notes and brainstorming for my next writing piece. But, I feel like my brainstorming is too messy to be contained in such a beautiful journal. I could explore issues with free-writing and just let all my ideas flow onto the page for further analysis and contemplation. It could be a journal for clarity. So many ideas. So little commitment.
Ahhh. An idea. I know exactly what to do. I have a plan. A little twist that works right along with some of my other goals. I am working on: cutting down on self-criticism, cutting down on my weight, cutting down on self-doubt, cutting down on negativity, cutting down on laziness toward my fitness, cutting down on dust in my house, and cutting down on procrastination. I know that is a lot. I have been procrastinating way too much for many years.
If you notice, each of my goals is framed in cutting down. I will also need to include some building back up. This new journal is going to be for accomplishments. Accomplishments that I recognize in myself. Things for which I am proud and that I love about the improved version of me. It will be for documenting progress. I will use the blank pages to build myself up with each step forward.
In a way, it will be a collection of words. Words that mean pride and happiness. In a way, it will be a book of quotes, inspired by achievements. The purple stone on the front will remind me of my grandma, and of the strength, transformation, and power that will be part of this journey.
The Advice
I very recently realized that celebrating yourself is a powerful thing that some people do. A thing that I have never done. Instead of just focusing on cutting down, I am going to start building up! This is my commitment to the blank pages. This beautiful new journal is a celebration of me!
I have been on a health journey for two years. I have lost over thirty pounds but have been within five pounds of my goal weight for quite some time. At a recent appointment, my doctor asked me if I celebrate my wins? Do I reward myself? We realized that I am a self-sabotager.
To be honest, the only real reward I have ever given myself regularly is food. I really didn’t want to be honest with him at that moment. I know that wasn’t the kind of reward that would help in this situation. But thinking back, following college exams-taco bell at the park. Following a rough day or an accomplishment at work-nachos for take-out on the way home. I guess I did know about rewarding and celebrating myself but not in a productive and healthy way. I definitely didn’t stop to think about accomplishments and praise myself. I generally focused on what mistakes had been made along the way and what still needed to be done.
As this self-sabotaging was uncovered, I was introduced to some work on reducing self-criticism. I had found that I was quite hard on myself with my self-talk and that I was quick to point out negatives but never really acknowledge the positives. This was holding me back. Some mirror work was suggested to have face to face talks with myself professing self-love and appreciation for everything about me. I am so thankful I now have this journal to celebrate me! Those face to face talks were really not my style. This twist is perfect to help me learn to celebrate me!
The Results
I wrote the first half of this story. Stopped. Tried the journal to celebrate me for two weeks. Now, I am coming back to tell you about the results. I would have worked longer at it before returning to writing but it has been so great I couldn't wait!
- At first, it was hard for me to think of something to write. It didn’t feel comfortable for me to write something as a celebration if it wasn’t yet perfect. I have gotten better. I ask myself: What is the best thing about me today? What was the best move I made today and how did it make me better? What should I celebrate about myself today? What could I thank myself for today?
- I have noticed that this simple act of thinking of these things regularly and writing them down has made me notice them more often and think about them more regularly. These positive thoughts are replacing some of the past self-criticism.
- I have noticed my thinking has shifted and when I do self-criticize I am much quicker to add…(yet), (but not next time), or…(but not for long) to the end of the statement. This indicates my belief that I will keep working on it and it will soon be better. I have noticed that saying I have a growth mindset and actually having one and acting on it is different. I actually have one now. I am much more accepting and patient with the process. I am much more realistic-perfect doesn’t have to be the goal.
- I have not lost weight in these two weeks. I have a goal of one pound a week until I reach my goal. But, I am feeling ok about that and optimistic for the next two weeks. I have moved from very close tracking of my food and macronutrients with an app to a more intuitive eating approach. I have built more trust in myself to manage this process.
- I considered adding rewards but I am happy with the momentum I have gained with simple acknowledgment and a commitment to the blank pages — using them to celebrate me!
Reflection
I am thankful that I received the gift of a blank journal, the suggestion from my doctor to start celebrating me, and that I made the twist to combine the two! This has been a really important tool that I have confidence will take me happily through the next phase of my journey!
Next Steps
Intuitive eating is a big shift in my journey. I am going to add a second set of questions about intuitive eating to my celebration. I will document anything that I accomplish and learn as I take this big positive step…one that I don’t think would have been possible without this new shift in thinking!
Thanks for reading! I hope you will celebrate yourself as well!