A Tribute to My Little Angel
6/1/04 — 6/18/22
You’ve been gone a year now…and I still miss you so much, little one…
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I brought you home… did I?
I wasn’t planning on getting a pet that day, especially a dog, but surprises happen…don’t they?
You’d been in that cage a long time...I think. You were such an awkward puppy — so sad and scared.
That’s why I chose you, not because you were cute or anything like that —
But you chose me too, didn’t you…maybe for the same reasons..?
You chewed up all my shoes…stole my food — and shredded toilet paper all over the house…on a daily basis — until you grew up.
I still loved you…
We had 18 years together, can you believe it? We traveled and moved a lot…From L.A. to San Francisco and back. You were always with me, little one, my biggest fan…my little snuggle-bug…
You had your own little personality. Sometimes I wondered if you knew you were a dog. You never licked and refused to fetch…you slept on your side with your head on the pillow… like me. And you sounded like a cat when you cried…
You were one of a kind…
On the weekends, we would get coffee and go to the park for hours. You ran around wiggling your little butt — you were so excited. You loved everyone. And everyone loved you…
Oh, I miss you so much, little one…
You loved to run when you were young — and you were so fast. I remember the time a bunch of kids chased you up and down the hills because they wanted to pet you. No one could catch you…not even close…
You turned back, yards ahead, smiling with your tongue hanging out because you were faster than everyone. I can see it in my mind like a living portrait — that memory frozen in time so many years ago…
You grew up to be so beautiful…didn’t you, little girl?
There was a time when you wouldn’t leave my side…you wanted to go everywhere with me —
But things changed… It was hard for me to watch you grow old so fast — So I stayed busy and tried to ignore it…
It made me sad when you stopped running to the door to go for a hike — when you stopped yelping for a car ride. It was hard when you didn’t want to play anymore.
You just wanted to stay home and sleep…
The last year I knew you didn’t feel good — I knew we didn’t have much time. It was a rough year, you know that, Cookie?
I hope you know it wasn’t you. I didn’t mind helping you to bed at night, little girl. I didn’t mind carrying you out in the morning.
Then when you had the stroke and couldn’t walk anymore or open your eyes — we spent the last two whole days together…
You loved to smell everything on our walks, didn’t you, girl? You could smell things that I couldn’t…those things that made you smile…
On that last day, I carried you to our hiking spot. You perked up for a few minutes and took in the aroma of nature for the last time. Your eyes were too weak to open, and your legs too fragile to stand, but you smiled like always…A glimpse of that youthful spirit you once had came back to leave me another special memory…
I still go there, you know…I walk by that spot — and I remember you, little one…
At the hospital, I held you in my arms, close to my heart — I whispered softly to you, “You were a good girl your whole life…I’m so sorry,” as the medicine stopped your heart…
And then they took you away in your little grey blanket…my little girl…
You are always with me, Cookie-girl; close to my heart—
I miss you, my little angel…
