Humor

How To Get More Views On Medium In 2023

Follow these steps if you want to be successful

Over the past few months, I’ve heard lots of content creators complain they’re not getting enough views. But I’m not.

Why? My views are higher than my ego (which is rather impressive). They’re skyrocketing every day as people around the world become inspired by what I have to say. And in my personal opinion, my ability to get a million monthly views is proof that I’m one of the best writers in the world.

Here’s a transparent look at my writing strategy that produces a million views per month:

I Hire Virtual Assistants To Refresh The Page

A million views per month is approximately 34,000 views per day. So, I’ve hired loads of virtual assistants from around the world to refresh the page and give me more views. And since they’re all located in different timezones, my traffic is consistent throughout every single minute of the day.

Sure, I could let my articles go viral naturally — without any help from virtual assistants spamming the refresh button. However, that wouldn’t be very fun. So, I sit back, relax, and let my monthly views (and earnings) climb.

What’s not to love about that?

I Drastically Lower People’s Expectations

I attribute most of my success to this strategy because it works like a charm. The side effect? Most people initially think I’m stupid — when I’m actually a creative genius.

Let me explain.

I want everyone on the platform to have low expectations. So, when they read one of my articles, their expectations are surpassed every single time. That means each reader is more likely to leave a comment or share my work on social media.

I Get Help From My Friends In Silicon Valley

The other day, I overheard two writers sharing conspiracy theories as to why I’m such a successful writer. “Matt’s got a full-time income from content creation and is secretly paying to have his content boosted in the algorithm.”

I’ll be honest. They are correct to assume that I receive help from engineers at various platforms to secretly tweak the algorithm in my favor. Who doesn’t these days? However, I don’t pay for anything because it’s done as an act of kindness.

I get a million views per month by hiring virtual assistants, lowering people’s expectations, and acts of kindness from my friends in Silicon Valley. Of course, getting a large number of views on your writing might seem difficult. But I’ve done it. Which means you can, as well.

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Important Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered financial, legal, or writing advice.