A Tough conversation with my Inner Dad
A black son’s conversation with his imaginary father.
“Dad, I don’t know what to do with the anger which bubbles behind my eyes every day of my existence.”
“Well, son, I don’t have the answers to your questions about your anger, but I bet I know where it comes from.”
“Do you really?”
“Yes, it’s because of the color of your skin and your gender.”
“Yes, that’s it. I am tired of mass incarceration stealing black men from the hood. I see kids crying out for fathers who are either in jail, deceased, or uninvolved in their kid's life.”
“I am a teacher, dad. I work with kids who are incarcerated for a variety of offenses. I don’t understand how to reach them because sometimes my anger blinds me to the successes I am having in my classroom. I see them, and they are black like me, and it's sad to observe so much potential locked up.”
“Well, son, I tell you I couldn’t do it. I would be in jail too if I attempted to do your job. If I taught, it would be an ugly sight. I would send all the kids to the office, open Facebook and check my status with the ladies. You know I am a ladies man.”
(Inner dad winks at me)
“Stop it, please. You are not funny. Wow, can you please give me something wise before I shove you back into the closet.”
“Wow, oh that’s how you feel about your good ole Inner Dad.”
(Inner Dad fake cries)
“Dad, please!!!!!”
“Ok, I will stop. Please use your anger at the world as fuel to make changes. Teach your students in Juvenile that incarceration isn’t the end of their existence.”
“Teach them about resiliency and how their ancestors fought off the chains of slavery. Inform your students about Harriet Tubman, Fredrick Douglass, MLK, Malcolm X, and Solomon Northrup. I advise you to used their stories to inspire your students to do well.”
“Feed their minds son, so they can shake off the shackles of poverty and hopelessness. Show them a better way.”
“I will Dad, and thanks, that was great advice. I have another question.”
“Wow, kid, you have a lot of questions. Look I don’t have all day. I have a date with a fine Inner Mom. She’s built like a stack of deep thoughts, boy. Oh wee, I can’t wait to probe her later.”
“Ok, Dad, that’s nasty. You need to stop.”
“Son, we imaginary parents need love too. I am no spring figment of your imagination.”
“Ha, Ha, this is your last warning. One more crack and you are going to the land of the forgotten.”
“Wow, you like threatening your old Inner Dad, I see.”
“No, it’s not a threat; it’s a promise. Can we finally become serious now, clown?”
“Ok, hit me with the question.”
“I have two sons. One is almost 21, and the other one just turned 8. I am afraid because of the world they currently live in. My 21-year-old is a specific concern of mine. I must have the talk with him that all African American parents have with their kids. I hate this “The Talk” as its called. Why must I worry about this in a country which prides itself on freedom and equality?”
“Yes, son, I understand, The talk about the police and being a black male in America. What are your thoughts on this?”
“I am so afraid some random cop with a bad day will shoot my son to death because he reached for his wallet. I can’t bear the thought of my son’s life and potential being cut short by a bullet.”
“I tell him he must work twice as hard if he wants to be successful.”
“I am so tired of these conversations, Dad.”
“Son, I hate to tell you those conversations are necessary for your son’s survival. If you don’t teach them, he may flounder and become bitter.”
“Teach him about white privilege and how to navigate it as he goes about his life. Inform him on how to recognize racism and bias and how to approach it correctly. Inform him not to allow anger to cloud his judgment or hinder his relationships. He must understand all white people are not racist and don’t allow racism and prejudice to creep into his soul. He must be better than the racists who infect our humanity.”
“Thanks, Inner Dad for everything today. Sometimes, I must turn to you for advice, and you never fail. You tell off-color jokes, but honestly, I love them.”
“I hope your date goes well and be careful because I think that Inner Mom belongs to my wife.”
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