A Throwback to the 80’s & 90’s TV Shows that Shaped My Childhood
Some of these may not have been the best choices to watch, but I did anyways…Until my parents returned home.
In a recent article by KL Simmons, she wrote something that made me pause, think, and reminisce about my childhood.
This article did not make me pause to feel the wind in my hair, riding my bike from dawn to dusk, imagining that I would be the first female Evel Knievel. Her article didn’t remind me when I swore that Santa preferred Long Island Ice Teas instead of milk…until I found out that “Santa” was actually my dad, then the gig was up.
Well played, dad. Well. Damn. Played.
Instead, her article gave me a rare experience that allowed my mind to go back to when my parents made the kids be the remote control for the television.
They’d yell, “Change the channel!”
As a child, I thought it was annoying. However, more than three decades later, I find that it makes the corners of my mouth smirk and giggles boil in my chest.
It was this flashback that made me remember that whoever was closest to the TV had to crawl to the knob, give the sticky knob a turn, and had to wait until mom or dad yelled, “Next!”
Slowly feeling the static electricity making my arm hairs stand, I secretly didn’t mind being “The Remote.” Chances were that I would use my electrified superpowers against one of my sisters as compensation for giving up my spot on the floor.
However, as I got older, I discovered that mom and dad had different schedules, as did my older sister. As a “rather mature” child, I was trusted to let my younger sister and me into the house after school, usually before anyone else got home.
After dropping our backpacks on the shag carpet, I made my little sister her favorite: A bowl of Count Chocula cereal, and I’d have a slice of buttered toast with Nesquik strawberry powder sprinkled on top.
Yeah, I know I’m weird. I also love ham and mayo-wrapped pickles and hate the smell of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (Thanks, boot camp.)
At the time, I was fully aware that we should be doing our homework, and the time when our parents returned home from work, we were watching television.
If we could prove that our grades were high enough, we would be allowed to watch TV and do our homework simultaneously.
As a Gen X’er, I am right on the cusp of being babysat by television and being ruled by video games. Both have a special place in my heart, but I want to focus this article on the television shows that helped me get through my childhood existence.
RIP, Pong. My condolences, Donkey Kong. Sorry, Super Mario Brothers. Today, the foil-lined antenna channels are getting their moment in the spotlight.
Age 5–10
Pound Puppies (1985–1988)
A girl named Holly, who lives with her piggish relatives, has a series of fun adventures with her friends, a group of zany talking dogs called the Pound Puppies. — IMDB
The Pound Puppies were excellent! Did you not see my picture above as a possessed redheaded child? If you f*ck with the Pound Puppies, you f*ck with me. May God have mercy on your soul.
Care Bears (1985–1988)
The Care Bears live in a faraway place up in the clouds called Care-a-Lot. They travel around the world on Missions in Caring, whilst evil villains such as Professor Coldheart and Lord No Heart, try to thwart their plans. — IMDB
Care Bears…stare!
If you were a baddie and faced this “Care Bear Stare,” you f*cked up on epic proportions. As a result, my fellow Care Bears and I are going to love the shit out of you and pure you from all evil deeds.
Captain Planet (1990–1996)
A quintet of teenagers work together to encourage environmentally responsible behavior and can summon a superhero to deal with ecological disasters. — IMDB
This is the show that makes me ask as an adult today, “Is your ass recycling?!” or yell at random strangers being dirty birds, “Put that in the trash!”
As a military member, I can yell that will put fear into random people. Do NOT make me yell at you for picking up your trash and ask that you be a decent human being.
Salute Your Shorts (1991–1993)
A group of kids at a summer camp, run by the heard-but-never-seen Dr. Kahn, form friendships as they spend time harassing buffoonish camp counselor Kevin “Ug” Lee. — IMDB
Despite being a short-lived series, it can be considered a cult classic.
For me, it’s a close tie between this and Ren & Stimpy. However, Salute Your Shorts has the advantage. Why?
- It was one of the first “reality TV shows that I came to know, although completely fiction.”
- It has the kid, Danny Cooksey, from The Terminator
Blossom (1990–1995)
A teenage girl living in a house run by men dreams what life would be like if she lived in a more conventional family. — IMDB
Ummm…did you know that Mayim Bialik is a genius? No seriously. She is!
Not only does Mayim have a Ph.D. in the complicated field of neuroscience, but her IQ has also been reported to be somewhere between 153 and 160. In IQ terms, that’s considered “exceptionally gifted.” — Distractify
Other than my massive appreciation for Mayim — who later plays one of the main characters in the hit TV show The Big Bang Theory and now a host of Jeopardy! — I used to make a pretty good impression of Joey. “Whoa!”
Age 10–13
I Love Lucy (1951–1957)
The wife of a band leader constantly tries to become a star — in spite of her having no talent, and gets herself (along with her best friend) into the funniest predicaments. — IMDB
Okay, I know that Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz are many years before my time. Regardless, they have a unique niche in my childhood. Why? Because they were in that sweet spot between soap operas and Jerry Springer.
Also, from one redhead to another, I think Lucy is half of my spirit animal.
Power Rangers (1993–1996)
A team of teenagers with attitude are recruited to save Angel Grove from the evil witch, Rita Repulsa, and later, Lord Zedd, Emperor of all he sees, and their horde of monsters. — IMDB
I don’t care who you are; the red Power Ranger is the best…and I thought he was the cutest.
I’d like to think that it was my love for Captain Planet and his powerful magic rings that made me grow a love for Power Rangers.
Even to this day, Rita,…I’m going to beat your ass, and welcome to my unpredictable hormonal-preteen years, bitch.
Full House
A widowed broadcaster raises his three daughters with assistance from his rock’n’roll brother-in-law and his madcap best friend. — IMDB
OMG, Uncle Jessie…You’re hot. However, John Stamos was not why I watched the show. I enjoyed the family themes, the sisters, and the unique family that I felt I could relate to.
When Fuller House kicked off in 2016, I was pretty stoked to see all of my favorite characters return (even though sans Olsen twins).
Recently Bob Saget passed away, and it felt a little like I lost a TV parent. RIP.
Family Matters
The Winslow family deal with various misadventures, many of them caused by their pesky next-door neighbor, ultra-nerd Steve Urkel. — IMDB
I thought Urkel was cute too. Not a John Stamos cute, but I would have dated Urkel. He has a great personality, is insanely lovable, approachable, level-headed, and could make me laugh. Laura, I don’t know your problem, but Urkel was adorable!
Saved By the Bell
A close-knit group of six friends get through their teens together while attending Bayside High School in Palisades, California. — IMDB
Let’s ignore the fact that many people who think of Saved By the Bell think of Elizabeth Berkley’s role as a stripper in Showgirls and Dustin Diamond, who stirred up controversy with his Behind the Bell and run-in with the law when he stabbed someone.
The show was great. As a Midwestern kid from Kansas who struggled to fit in, I thought this group of kids in California was a bit of an outlet for me.
Fresh Prince
A streetwise, poor young man from Philadelphia is sent by his mother to live with his aunt, uncle and cousins in their Bel-Air mansion. — IMDB
Will Smith is fantastic and what is even more impressive is seeing him transform from a goofy Philly kid on a TV series to one of the most highly paid actors in Hollywood.
This was a male version of a Cinderella story for me, and I was in the Fresh Prince’s corner the whole time.
Age 13–16
Days of Our Lives
A chronicle of the lives, loves, trials and tribulations of the citizens of the fictional city of Salem. — IMDB
I fell into watching soap operas thanks to my older sister during summer break. Between my morning cartoons, I Love Lucy or the Three Stooges, but before Jerry Springer — there were The Days of our Lives.
By now, I was a young teenager, but learning the scope of “adulting” and I think it was all due to characters like Marlena, Stefano, and Hope. In a way, I think I learned a little bit of “what not to do” thanks to these folks.
Jerry Springer
Among his peers’ other talk-shows, Jerry’s is of the more passionate and of the more sensational. His topics range from bisexual affairs to rape. His guests sometimes get out of control and yell and scream at each other, but they are more believable than some other talk-shows. — IMDB
I remember rushing home from school just so that I’d have time to open up a Pop-Tart for my little sister and me in time to hear: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
This was a horrible TV show to watch. It was filled with staged drama, the oddest stories, and scandalous love triangles. In a way, it reminded me of when I used to watch WWF (eventually becoming WWE). It had a lot of the same themes, and since my dad enjoyed it, I felt like I should want it too to add another layer of bonding.
After that, who’s got time for television when it’s time to start driving? Around this time, I had little time for TV as I was preparing for college life. However, thanks to KL Simmons, she’s given me time to reminisce with some childhood throwbacks.
It’s moments like these that I pour a glass of wine, smile at my childhood, and want to turn on the television.
