This Teacher’s Act Made Me Look For Him After 43 Years. Am I Too Late?

How my “detective” story ended, and what a priceless life lesson it can teach each of us. What a symbolic gift I have prepared for him (I’m sure he will like it).

Occasionally in life, we come across someone extraordinary who generates such a profound and lasting impression on us that their kind words stay with us indefinitely. It’s from one of those people whose words resonated in me for years that this story emanates.

I want to note that this was never meant to be a story! However, partway through my search, my friend recommended I document it, so when I started to write this story, I had no idea how it would end up, which makes it all the more interesting for you to follow this path with me!

January 24th was International Education Day, and with this story, I’d like to recognize that education is not only about teaching skills but also about something way more than that.

Quite frankly, going to school as a child was a hard test. The problem was not the school itself, I am grateful for what it taught me. Many famous New Zealanders are alumni of this college.

However, at that time (1980), the area where the school was located was a bit rough. Even worse I was in the class with some of the most difficult students and it was hard to learn!

Okay, to be more clear, the previous year (1979) we had 5 different maths teachers as they all quit, one after the other!

Then, I had exams that year. I managed to get reasonable passes in all my subjects, but I only got 50 percent for mathematics. Nevertheless, it was a pass, and I was looking forward to continuing my studies next year.

Shortly after exams, I sought out the Physics teacher for the next year at school. I wanted to chat with him about the upcoming 6th form year.

I told him that I was very keen to learn Astronomy and that I studied by myself at lunchtime in the library, researching planets and stars and the solar system and universe.

I always remembered the speed of light at 186,000 miles per second (I didn’t Google it, haha), and I was inspired by the beautiful horsehead nebula in Orion. I also wanted to study small engines, to know how they work.

But life circumstances did not allow this dream to happen.

My father had died when I was only 12 and my sister was 4 years behind me, but she was way more clever than me at maths, and indeed in most subjects. The only thing I could do more easily than her was English.

After I obtained my School Certificate, my mother said to me one day that I should leave school and start work. She told me that I wasn’t likely to be any good at university.

As a rule, I tended not to argue with my mother. It was hard for her since my Dad died, to bring us children up alone, and with me paying board money to my mum every week, it would be of help to pay bills and keep my sister at school.

So although it was a disappointment not to be going back to school, that’s just the way things were. My mother and grandfather helped me to get a job at the railways in the ticket office.

An unexpected call

Not long after I started work, there was a phone call one evening at my house. I picked up the phone and heard the voice of a well-spoken, mature-sounding man.

I was only 16 years old, so I was rather timid. You can’t imagine my surprise when this man introduced himself as the very teacher who was to teach me physics that school year!

He reminded me about it and wanted to know why I hadn’t returned for the next year at school, as he didn’t see me in the class, and neither did I turn up for anything else. My mistake was that, uh… I didn’t know that I was supposed to resign officially if I was leaving school, and let them know! I told him that I’d got a job. He asked me:

— “Wendy, is that what You really want?”

I just answered:

— “Emm… yes”,- because, you know, it would have sounded silly if I’d said “NO”.

But really, I would have liked to have done the extra year at school! I was very interested in learning at the time. But I didn’t know how to tell my mother that. I can’t help but wonder if I would have been a failure as my mother had suggested, or whether I would have passed the subjects well…

Later, I got a job at the university as a secretary and wrote some university papers. But do you know, the universe and the planets and our solar system still fascinate me? I tried to ignore them all these years as if they were the reason I couldn’t stay at school. I shut them out of my mind.

The thoughts of his act came back again

Something has suddenly re-ignited my interest and brought the story of the physics teacher to my mind. I feel like it’s almost as if he is back talking to me on the phone, asking me: “Is the job really what You want, Wendy, or do You want to learn more ?”

This message in my head is so strong! It is not only about the words themselves but also about the care with which they were spoken.

I had hoped to be able to contact him, and thank him for caring about me back then, and explain to him what had happened to that enthusiastic girl who could hardly wait to start his classes, and then disappeared…

I wished I could tell him that my education mattered to him more than to my mother, that I didn’t choose to leave school, and that I would have gladly gone back and done his classes. But I was too shy…

Worrying thoughts

When I started looking for him, the most scary thought for me was if something happened to him before I could find him and thank him.

Not to mention that these days even middle-aged people can pass away early in life, much less (God forbid) with Covid, and who knows what might have happened to him in the meantime, and whether he is still living in New Zealand.

Maybe the sudden memories coming through to me were from his soul, trying to communicate with me and say he understood now, and to not get discouraged, and that I’m smarter than my Mum was thinking?

Well, I’d like to think that he knows that I’d like to thank him. It was so nice to know that someone CARED.

Search for a teacher

Recently, I went to my old school. I asked if anyone remembered the teacher. I was expected to go into his class in the year of 1981. The reception girl looked at me and said:

“That’s like 40 years ago or something isn’t it?”

I thought about it and had to agree. The reception girl had only been there 6 months, and the staff who had been there the longest had been there maybe only since 8 years ago.

She promised to contact me as soon as they had any information about the teacher. But their call never came. I felt lost and disappointed. It was a dead end. I imagined a wall clock ticking loudly, urging me on.

My good friend, after listening to my story, advised me to write an ad in the newspaper, hoping that someone from the past, familiar with the teacher, would contact me and give me some valuable information that would bring me closer to my dream.

Together we came up with an ad that would be hard to miss, and even harder to ignore. Here it is!

Days passed after placing my ad in the paper, and I still hadn’t heard a thing. Suddenly, at a moment when my hopes were struggling with despair in my mind, the phone rang. And this is what a kind, anonymous voice said to me:

“Hello, I’m calling about your advert. “The man you’re looking for would be Mr Petersen. Unfortunately, that’s all I can tell you…”

I thanked this wonderful, caring person, but I was not over-enthusiastic about this news, as I still had no idea where to find him. I thought about buying another ad in the newspaper, even though it was quite expensive.

However, I shared this discovery with my friend, who was more enthusiastic than me.

A few minutes later, my friend himself texted me:

— ”Hey, Wendy! Look here! Is that him?”

Then, I rubbed my eyes and looked at a small photo of a very charming, mustached man with a kind smile, and held my breath and thought for a few minutes.

— “Actually, I’m not sure, I feel his face looks familiar, but I don’t totally remember the mustache…”

— “Ross Petersen, his name “— the friend added.  — “Ohh! Must be!!!” -I shouted enthusiastically.

As if to further confirm our discovery, I unexpectedly received another couple of phone calls from the ad. The first was from a school teacher who knew Mr. Petersen personally and advised me that I could find the teacher on LinkedIn.

The next call was from one of the Mums of a previous student from my year, who couldn’t speak highly enough about him and about what he has done for students ever since he left the school!

We also found some more information about him on Google. Based on that data, everything matched up. So, we found him! We found his LinkedIn profile and judging by the activity on his page, he visits it regularly.

I wanted not only to meet Mr. Petersen but also to give him a modest but symbolic gift as a token of my gratitude for what he did for me 43 years ago.

I decided it would be more interesting if I didn’t reveal my identity to Mr. Petersen right away so that it would be a pleasant surprise for him. Well, I hoped so! I sent him a connection request via LinkedIn and was very worried that he would not accept it. To my surprise, Mr. Petersen accepted the request.

I realized that he probably wouldn’t recognize me because I was 16 years old at the time and would turn 60 the day after tomorrow and we hardly knew each other. So I would be surprised if he said: “Hey, I remember your eyes, they have the same sparkle and enthusiasm as they had in high school”.

Bad news?

When I started my correspondence with Mr. Petersen I made some mistakes, which led to an unlikelihood of any meeting. It was my fault.

Perhaps I seemed intrusive, or maybe the mystery of the events disconcerted Mr. Petersen. Nor should I discount the fact that he had to travel a long way to meet me.

In my farewell message, I finally revealed the secret of my identity and the true purpose of our meeting. But not completely. Because I believe that:

“Hope springs eternal!”

And you know what? Mr. Petersen has agreed to this meeting!!!

But at this point, he still didn’t know what symbolic gift awaited him, and what his act was, that made me remember him with warmth in my heart for the entirety of my working life until now. The act that had positively impacted the formation of my personality.

While I was preparing to meet with my teacher, a few unpleasant things happened to me: a water pipe burst in the house where I live, and I got into two car accidents that resulted in a slight injury to my back.

My doubts

From that point on, I became more concerned about whether I could follow through with what I had started. Then I thought: “If I don’t do this now, I’m not sure I’ll ever get another chance again to find this wonderful man who made such a difference to my self-esteem, and let me think that I mattered in the great scheme of things when I felt like my beloved mother had lost confidence in me…”

The mere thought that he might never know what his gesture meant to me, and not be able to thank him, frustrated me terribly and brought me a mental ache that dulled my back pain. So, despite all the difficulties, I did go to the meeting!

The long-awaited meeting and Mr. Petersen’s reaction

Oh boy!

I met him!

He bought me coffee and cake!

Meet Mr. Ross Petersen!

At first, he certainly didn’t remember me or the phone call and thought it might have been one of the other physics teachers.

But then he realized that it was quite likely he would be the one since he had been trying to encourage more girls to take physics when most girls thought it was a subject for boys. He admitted that “ it did ring a bell”, so it probably was him.

I said that I thought I recognized his face and that I felt sure that it was him. He brought out a list of names of students from that time, and I recognized a few of them.

He had kept in contact with some of the students, but this was something he had never experienced. Mr. Petersen accepted the gift and said that no one had ever done this for him and that it was very special. He was very surprised. And he liked my symbolic gift!

Mr. Petersen kindly shared with us this video of a working gift. Enjoy watching it.

I think this is one of the cutest gifts for a Physics or Astronomy teacher, don’t you think so, too? It’s a levitating lamp in the form of the planet Saturn. It has great symbolic significance for me and the teacher. And not only because the cosmos and its luminaries are of great interest to both of us.

Sincere care for each other and our future is an invisible but powerful force that sustains people’s broken hearts and helps us to “spin” in our lifetimes!

The lesson of this 43-year-long history

Firstly, never give up hope when you want to acknowledge someone’s good deed, no matter how much time has passed!

Secondly, the best thing that a teacher or mentor can give their students, besides beneficial knowledge, is sincere care and concern for their present and future, and help them to discover their talents. This makes your life much warmer and more colorful and may even prolong it.

I wish good health and long life to my teacher Mr. Ross Petersen, and all who follow his example!

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You may also find interesting: “An Abandoned Сat Tamed the Broken Heart of a Guy Who Was Dumped By His Girlfriend!”