A Story About Mr Capitalism and His Two Hostages — Mr Science and Mr Media

Mr Capitalism woke up sweaty in his big mansion. He sat on the edge of his bed and stared anxiously at a luxurious golden chandelier. His lips formed the shape of a smile, but his clenched teeth, wrinkles on his forehead, and exposed veins on his neck indicated it was not a smile but rather an expression of suffering. He took medicine from the bedside table and swallowed it without water.

“Ok, I am alright!” he said when he looked at himself in the mirror. He smoothed down his hair to one side and dressed up in the silver suit.

It was raining when he got out of the mansion in a huge garden. He put a baseball cap on his head to protect himself from rain and went towards the end of the garden where a laboratory was based.

He opened the laboratory door and saw Mr Science giving the final check to his new vaccine. Mr Science’s face seemed happy, even though his head was swapped with his right knee. Namely, unlike other people, Mr Science had a superpower to swap different body parts with each other. For example, he could take his eyes off and swap them with his left arm to change the perspective and make his discoveries more relevant. Sometimes he would swap his entire face with his foot to see if the face masks work against viruses at the level of increased density. However, if he missed just one part of his body, he would be utterly dysfunctional. Science needed all of his body parts because if he lost one, the full perspective would be gone. One body part made sense for another one. Only as a whole Science could work.

“Oh, that is you,” Science said gruntingly and put his head with black thick hair back on his shoulder when Capitalism entered the laboratory.

Now with his body in place, Science’s satisfied face turned worried. He put the vaccine in the pocket of his white scrub.

“I need you, Science,” Capitalism said as he closed the door behind himself.

“What do you need me for this time?” Science asked and crossed his arms as he had something to defend.

“What do you mean what for?” Capitalism was confused. “For money, of course!”

“I am sorry, but I can’t leave my laboratory,” Science said as a cramp appeared on his cheek.

“I need you to go with me,” Capitalism said and took off the cap from his head.

“I am sorry, I have some work to do to make the world a safer place,” Science said, turned his back to Capitalism and kept working.

Capitalism got angry. He took a plastic bag from his back pocket, approached Science from the back and put the bag onto Science’s head.

“Heeelp!” Science screamed, but before he had a chance to defend, he was already unconscious.

“Look what you did to yourself now,” Capitalism said as he started dragging Science towards the exit.

He opened the door single-handedly and got Science out of the laboratory. He put him in a shed next to the laboratory, tied his arms around the pillar with a rope and took the bag off his head.

“Arrrghhh,” Science shouted when Capitalism watered him with the hose.

“Leave me alone, I can’t help you,” Science said as he got conscious, trying to cut the rope with quick movements.

“You will damage your scrub if you keep doing this.”

“Leave me alone,” Science repeated.

“If you are not willing to cooperate, I will need to get violent, you know that.”

“Heeelp,” Science started shouting.

“I will need this,” Capitalism said as he grabbed Science by his left arm.

“No!” Science said when he managed to get his hand out of Capitalism’s grip. “What are you doing?”

“I need your left arm!”

“You can’t have my left arm,” Science said. “The Left arm is dysfunctional without the rest of my body. And the rest of the body is dysfunctional without the left arm. I am Science, I only function as a whole.”

“I need only your left arm, the one that says lockdown is here to prevent the spread of the virus.”

“You can’t have it!” Science again managed to shook Capitalism off. “Left arm, which says lockdown is here to stop the spread of the virus, does not work without the right arm, which says lockdown will only be useful for vulnerable people until the vaccine has been created and that lockdown would create major psychophysical disorders for the rest of the population.”

“Oh, shut up. I don’t need your right arm, it’s useless. I have billions of PCR tests ready to sell,” Capitalism said. “I can’t sell all of them without a global lockdown. PCR tests are the ticket for freedom,” Capitalism said and ripped off Science’s left arm.

Science shut down.

Capitalism closed the shed’s door and left Science in the dark, with only a tiny gap between the door and floor for air to flow into the shed.

Capitalism started shaking, sweat drops burst out of his skin. He took medicine from his suit pocket and swallowed it while holding Science’s arm in his other hand.

“I am alright,” he consoled himself as he swept sweat from his forehead and went to another shed, distant five meters away from the first one.

“Media!” Capitalism shouted when he opened the door. “Wake up!”

“Oh, shit,” Mr Media muttered when he opened his eyes while lying on the wooden floor curled up in a ball.

Media was dressed in an old, scratched shirt with a diamond pattern. He had spectacles with the left glass broken.

“Publish this,” Capitalism said when he threw Science’s left arm on the floor next to Media.

“No!” Media said quietly as he adjusted his spectacles. “You know I can’t publish Science’s left arm, which says lockdown is here to stop the spread of the virus, without the right arm, which says lockdown will only be useful for vulnerable people until the vaccine has been created and that lockdown would create major psychophysical disorders for the rest of the population. I need both arms for a holistic approach.”

“Oh, you and fucking Science, always the same story,” Capitalism got angry. “Could you please for once remember who is funding you?”

“It is you who is funding me,” Media said in a contrite tone.

“That is right, my friend,” Capitalism smoothed his tone as well. “You know that with a holistic approach to the situation I can’t make all the profit. Only with a single perspective, we can make all the profit, and we both can keep running. Only with a single perspective, we can make people buy all those PCR tests as a ticket for freedom. You do know how I work and how I finance you.”

“I don’t want that anymore!” Media shouted. “I want to get out of it, I want to offer people the full perspective, I want to get back to the essence of journalist work, I want to inform people.”

“It is too late for that, my friend. There is no you without me, don’t you remember?” Capitalism said and pointed on the Science’s left arm. “Now, publish it.”

“I am sorry, but I am opting out,” Media said while ignoring the arm.

“Is that right?” Capitalism asked apologetically before he stamped on Media’s fingers.

“Heeelp,” Media screamed in pain.

“There is nobody to help you,” Capitalism said and put more pressure.

“Heeeelp!” Media screamed again.

“I am the only one who can help you,” Capitalism said. “And you can also help me. We have been working beautifully for so long. Why are you ruing it now?”

“I have been your hostage, and you have been exploiting me,” Media said.

“Ohh,” Capitalism realised and lifted his foot from Media’s hand. “Media… Let’s not pretend, you are obsessed with me. I didn’t invite you here in the first place, you came here voluntarily. Just as Science did.”

“That is because you told me you had noble things to share, and that was a lie. You tricked me.”

“I didn’t trick you. I just gave you one side of the story that we both needed to make a narrative we needed.”

“I want out of that!”

“It is too late for that, my friend,” Capitalism said and pointed on the Science’s left arm. “We have become one. I can’t live without you, you can’t live without me.”

Media didn’t say anything, just bent his neck in misery.

“Now publish it,” Capitalism pushed Science’s left arm closer to Media with his leg.

Media took the arm and published it.

Capitalism started shaking and took another pill.