If you have a fever, have you thought about canceling the show?

A Stoic, Literalist Linguist Who Has Had Some Therapy Responds to Foreigner’s Hit Song “Hot Blooded”

Yes, I can do more than dance

Well, I’m hot blooded Check it and see I got a fever of a hundred and three Come on, baby, do you do more than dance? I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded

I understand what you are going for, but you do know, I assume, that being hot-blooded doesn’t have anything to do with running a fever.

You don’t have to read my mind To know what I have in mind Honey, you oughta know

No one can read minds. How do you expect me to know what’s on your mind?

Are you thinking clearly? When I have a fever, sometimes my thoughts get wonky.

Now you move so fine Let me lay it on the line I wanna know What you’re doin’ after the show?

Thank you … I’ve always thought I was clumsy.

And I appreciate your concise communication and your “I” statement.

Regarding my plans, I don't know what I will do after the show. When does the show end? Does the show ever run late? If it’s too late, I will probably go home and go to bed.

Once again, what do you have in mind? I need you at least to try to communicate more clearly.

Now it’s up to you We can make a secret rendezvous? Just me and you I’ll show you loving like you never knew

Consent is a two-way street.

Speaking of two, rendezvous often implies a meeting between two parties. “Just me and you” probably isn’t necessary.

Oh, my.

That’s why I’m hot blooded Check it and see I got a fever of a hundred and three Come on, baby, do you do more than dance? I’m hot blooded, hot blooded

Yes, I can do more than dance. I have two advanced degrees and 15 years of experience in senior management. What that has to do with you being hot-blooded is beyond me.

I have no reason to question your assessment that you are running a fever. Have you thought about canceling the show? One hundred and three is relatively high.

If it feels alright Maybe you can stay all night Shall I leave you my key?

A conditional statement with a false hypothesis is categorically true. So without a clear idea of what “it” refers to, I don’t even know how to begin evaluating these statements or respond.

But you’ve got to give me a sign Come on, girl, some kind of sign Tell me, are you hot, mama? You sure look that way to me

I feel like you are projecting. It is I who needs a sign from you. All you’re giving me is sloppy language — misused words, mixed metaphors, and contradictory messages. You’re an adult. Please choose accurate words that reflect how you feel and then communicate them.

You are the one who is constantly telling me you have a fever and misusing hot-blooded, I believe, to convey that you “feel” hot. How does that get turned around, and you question whether I am hot? What does hot look like in your world?

This conversation needs clarity.

Yeah, I’m hot blooded Check it and see I feel a fever burnin’ inside of me Come on, baby, do you do more than dance? I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded I’m hot!

Again, we’ve been over this.

Now it’s up to you Can we make a secret rendezvous? Oh, before we do You’ll have to get away from you know who

We could. But may we? Should we? I need more specifics on time, location, and planned events.

Also, to reiterate, I am not a mind reader. Who is “you know who”? I am divorced, my former husband lives across the country, and we hardly speak. I was dating a guy last year, but we broke it off. He has no say over who I choose or don’t choose to date.

This might be more about you than me or some imaginary “you know who.” To work on our communication, let’s start with I statements. Try it:

“I feel like I must get away from _________.”

Well, I’m hot blooded Check it and see I got a fever of a hundred and three Come on, baby, do you do more than dance? I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded

Hot blooded, every night Hot blooded, you’re lookin’ so tight Hot blooded, now you’re driving me wild Hot blooded, I’m so hot for you, child

You clearly have anger issues. I am not comfortable dating a hothead, especially one who blames his agitation on me.

We might not be a great match.

Hot blooded, I’m a little bit high Hot blooded, you’re a little bit shy

I am glad you were honest here about your illicit drug use. It explains a lot.

I am an introvert. There is nothing wrong with that.

Hot blooded, you’re makin’ me sing Hot blooded, for you sweet, sweet thing Did you hear what I said?

I have been listening.

I appreciate your commitment to communication. It has helped me realize we’re not a fit.

Please take some ibuprofen and get some rest.

For more deep, life-affirming insight into your soul: