NEWSLETTER

A Simple Way to Identify Your Real Friends

June 6th edition of the Ma(n)ximize newsletter

Even after I had taken up a vow of temporary celibacy, I continued flirting with women and asking them out.

My rationale was like “I don't intend to sleep with them,” and “Kissing and fooling around won’t really cancel my celibacy.”

But as I felt a tingling inner cognitive dissonance, a timely phone call with a close friend laid bare my bullsh*t.

He didn’t hesitate a single whit to point out my coping rationalization — while it exasperated me in the moment, I soon saw the light.

Your REAL Buddies Call Out Your Bullsh*t

There are two kinds of “friends”:

• The crabs that seek to pull you down to their level — “Just one cigarette won’t harm you bro”, and “Eyy! You can skip one workout to party”
• The well-wishers that encourage your positive actions and condemn your negative bullsh*t.

Cut out the former and surround yourself with the latter.

Friends that feed your vanity with validation are worse than your truthful enemies.

While fake pandering and agreeability seem great in the short run, the insidious “supportiveness” will reveal its ugly underbelly in the long term.

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”

— Plutarch

Rude Honesty >> Polite Dishonesty

We live in a world and society that encourages comfortable lies at the cost of the harsh truth.

Wanting to be “nice” and “unoffensive”, we brush our true opinions, thoughts, and intentions under the rug — putting on an all-appeasing mask instead.

Rare is the one that calls a spade a spade — and if you find such people, keep them in your life.

“An acquaintance merely enjoys your company, a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well, a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.”

— E.A Bucchianeri

Harsh. Bitter. Hurtful. Whatever it is, you can always rely on such friends to give you the truth — and in the end, the truth always wins.

Even (rarer and) better are the people that don’t tolerate mediocrity — in you or in themselves. The best way to attract such friends into your life?

Become a brutally honest person yourself.

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