HUMOR

A Simple Strategy I Use To Tell If Someone Is Lying To Me

It’s really useful…

One of my favorite childhood memories is going to my father’s workplace for “take your child to work day.” Although he never mentioned his job in front of my mother and brother, driving into the CIA’s headquarters with my dad was amazing.

I wanted to be a spy. In part, that’s why I was so excited to work at the Central Intelligence Agency for a day. So, after retrieving a large suitcase from the trunk of our F-150, we proceeded through security and walked down some stairs into the basement.

My father motioned for me to take a seat and retrieved a device from his suitcase. He told me to remain calm. “This isn’t going to hurt, Matt. Not much.” Then, he strapped several electrodes to my arms and asked a few intimidating questions.

“Did you eat my chocolate cookies this morning?”

I replied “no” and stated that I would never do such a thing. However, the crumbs around my face said otherwise.

After ten minutes of embarrassing torture, he looked me in the eyes with a stern look of disappointment. “This device is a lie detector, Matt. I know you’re not telling the truth.”

Despite being shocked, I was equally impressed that my father used a lie detector to get a truthful response. And on the drive home to our 12-bedroom mansion, I decided to use that interrogation technique whenever I suspected someone of lying to me.

Here’s What Happened Next…

A friend named Justin thought it would be funny to steal my favorite pen during an English class at school. He said he didn’t do it and was innocent. However, I knew Justin was lying. So, I invited him to accompany me on a day trip to my father’s workplace.

I sat Justin down in the basement and hooked him up to my father’s lie detector. “This isn’t going to hurt, buddy. Not much.”

After twenty minutes of questioning, he finally admitted to stealing my favorite pen. And while some people might say hooking people up to lie detectors at a CIA black site is inhumane, it’s extraordinarily effective. And, of course, I left the room smiling, knowing that I had successfully uncovered the truth.

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Important Disclaimer: This article is a joke and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. I have never worked for the CIA, and all stories in this article are fictional.