A short list of things that autistic adults wish they could tell you

1. Autistic kids don’t grow out of it. Autistic kids become autistic adults.
2. I am aware of the fact that I’m not the easiest person to have a conversation with. I’m also aware when I say something that catches you off guard; I can see that your face/expression/body positioning and posture changes; I can hear your vocal timbre change. What I cannot, necessarily, do is to interpret what this is supposed to mean, so when this happens, an alarm sounds in my head and my defenses prepare.
3. When I say something is loud, it is loud. Just because you cannot hear or do not notice the buzzing of the fluorescents, the kids shrieking two floors down, the credit card reader tick-tick-ticking, the ceiling fan pull clicking, doesn’t mean it isn’t loud to me, and even if it is not physically loud as such, I hear it and am distracted by it. But sometimes it IS loud. Sometimes the neck of the shirt IS choking me. Sometimes the scent of the floor cleaner IS suffocating. And here’s something else to keep you on your toes; tomorrow, that floor cleaner’s scent may not elicit such a response.
4. I am autistic. I have always been autistic and I will always be autistic.
5. If you invite me to a party there is a very good chance I will not go. This does not mean that you should not invite me. Honestly, for me, just being invited is a victory in itself and would be greatly appreciated. That being said, I very well might go. DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO ENTERTAIN ME OR STAY WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME. I know you’re busy. I won’t excel at mingling or being social, and when I’m spoken to by other party guests I very well could say something nonsensical, but I’m glad to be there while life happens around me, and though I will feel somewhat awkward, I really appreciate the invitation and the opportunity. Plus, bonus points for you if you have pets I can hang with or interesting collectibles I can admire
6. There is a list of foods that I will have NOTHING to do with. If you offer me food that has any of these ingredients in them, please do not be offended if I choose not to partake. It’s not you. I’m sure your old family recipe for mushroom tarts is excellent, but, just, no.
7. I am not interested in arguing with you, so I will let you be wrong. Many years ago the very idea that you had false facts and were broadcasting said false facts in my vicinity would likely elicit a “well, actually…” from me, but I have been argued with enough to know that you cannot convince allistic people that they are wrong, and the more “wronger” they are, the harder they resist the truth so, dear person who is convinced that Albertsons was the first full-service grocery store, I’m going to let you remain ignorant. Now, if I am wrong about something — tell me
8. Playing off #2, selective mutism is something I deal with constantly, many of us do. Because of this discussions with me can be awkward for you. If I am struggling, do not jump in and suggest words. This rarely helps as you will be wrong.
9. You do not need to try to engage me in small talk. In fact, I would prefer you wouldn’t because your space-filling interchange concerning the weather or the potholes or “those darn politicians” will serve to pull me out of my own thoughts concerning the British and French responses to the German creeping barrages of Operation Michael in the waning days of the Great War.
10. I cannot do something just because everybody else is doing it, so don’t expect me to blindly follow along with social trends. I would have been a terrible villager in the old days because I just don’t understand mindless conformity and I never have.